In-laws didn't come to daughters 1st birthday

[Anonymous]

I DO get it. Yes, they are important to me - my daughter likely won't care. Yes I get that. I simply asked if I was wrong. I got a collective yes. I get it!!!!!! Will I be upset with my in laws forever. NO! Will birthdays always be important to me, yes. But will I let it go - absolutely yes! My gut said to be annoyed. That's it, that's all. Seriously relax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I DO get it. Yes, they are important to me - my daughter likely won't care. Yes I get that. I simply asked if I was wrong. I got a collective yes. I get it!!!!!! Will I be upset with my in laws forever. NO! Will birthdays always be important to me, yes. But will I let it go - absolutely yes! My gut said to be annoyed. That's it, that's all. Seriously relax.

No you didn't. You said:

I don't want to start an argument but I do want them to know it was not okay and my husband won't do that.

You DO want to make a big deal of this with your ILs because you want them to feel exactly what you feel. That isn't going to happen and also why we all jumped on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I DO get it. Yes, they are important to me - my daughter likely won't care. Yes I get that. I simply asked if I was wrong. I got a collective yes. I get it!!!!!! Will I be upset with my in laws forever. NO! Will birthdays always be important to me, yes. But will I let it go - absolutely yes! My gut said to be annoyed. That's it, that's all. Seriously relax.

So I will be. Forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I DO get it. Yes, they are important to me - my daughter likely won't care. Yes I get that. I simply asked if I was wrong. I got a collective yes. I get it!!!!!! Will I be upset with my in laws forever. NO! Will birthdays always be important to me, yes. But will I let it go - absolutely yes! My gut said to be annoyed. That's it, that's all. Seriously relax.

OP, when you respond to your own post like this, it gets bumped up to the top of the recent topics list, and a brand new batch of people get to tell you you're wrong. Stop subjecting yourself to this by replying and refreshing the thread.

[Anonymous]

My in laws DID come to my kids first birthday. They were late and when they arrived my MIL made a rude comment about my appearance.

So grass is always greener.

[Anonymous]

Somebody link to the one with the evil stepmom ruining Halloween!

[Anonymous]

I remember my first bday party. Mommy thought it would be cute if I smeared cake on my face. But really, I wanted my favorite strained peaches from Gerber. I had to wear a silly pink bow around my head, and even then grandpa couldn't remember I was a girl. He kept tossing me in the air and I HATE that. I had to throw up on him to get him to stop.

Aunt Bea gave me the ugliest blanket. Only grownups would name something "minkee". But I guess it's better than Aunt June's present - I mean, I know I'm precocious but even I won't need an ABC book for a couple years.

But what I really remember is that Cousin Ed didn't come. Some lame excuse like stomach flu, and didn't want me to catch it blah blah blah. I can't believe he was so selfish. I am so totally NOT going to his party next year when he turns two.

[Anonymous]

While I completely agree with all the other posters, I will say this - birthdays or at least a first birthday celebration for whatever reason would seem to be a big deal to the OP. Anyone who is related to her would know that this is important to her, and therefore as a show of care and respect for a fellow family member it would have been nice to personally call her they know how much it means but are sorry they couldn't make it.

OP, would that have helped?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter will have many birthdays God willing and will we celebrate each one? Probably not. Will we celebrate the first? Absolutely! Why? Because she will have many other birthdays that she will forget and that others will forget. But it was important for me (yes ME)i is to have our all of our family together for at least one. And for us that was her birthday. It was the only time aside from our wedding that both of our families have all been together.

Sure they visit her once a month and that's really nice but like I said, it is important to me to have our family together for gatherings and since we don't do it often, this one was important. There is no need for personal attacks.

STOP! JUST STOP!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I DO get it. Yes, they are important to me - my daughter likely won't care. Yes I get that. I simply asked if I was wrong. I got a collective yes. I get it!!!!!! Will I be upset with my in laws forever. NO! Will birthdays always be important to me, yes. But will I let it go - absolutely yes! My gut said to be annoyed. That's it, that's all. Seriously relax.

What will happen when your child is in grade school and some people cancel on her birthday at the last minute??? You will be out in full force.

[Anonymous]

OP is giving all of us the gift of feeling like laid-back daughters-in-law, at least in comparison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While I completely agree with all the other posters, I will say this - birthdays or at least a first birthday celebration for whatever reason would seem to be a big deal to the OP. Anyone who is related to her would know that this is important to her, and therefore as a show of care and respect for a fellow family member it would have been nice to personally call her they know how much it means but are sorry they couldn't make it.

OP, would that have helped?

But, maybe they didn't know? I mean she sounds very young, and her DD is only 1. Maybe this was not a known fact. Most young people prefer to go out for birthday dinner with their friends, so maybe they had no clue that she is this crazy about birthdays.

[Anonymous]

Eight hours later and you have become even more tiresome OP.

[Anonymous]

Let me try this AGAIN.
1. I was upset. I didn't say anything to them and no it will not effect her or my relationship with them.
2. AGAIN - my question. Am I wrong for being upset. Yes, I hear you. Get over it. Who is saying I'm not. Can I be upset for 5 minutes?
3. Do not project that I'm not a good friend or parent or will ruin my children. You don't know me. Yes they will experience failure and rejection and I'm not going to shield them from that.
4. My in laws also knew hired a photographer to take family pictures (again - only time we have been together since our wedding).
5. People like to feel special. Sure life is a collection of special moments abd birthdays are the exclamation points.
6. A simple - yep, move on is enough. The snarky comments are totally unnecessary.

Get over it. I will.

[Anonymous]

For all your protesting, I don't see you getting over it. At all. Also, a pet peeve of mine, but you've done it multiple times. The verb is "affect" not "effect" as you have said repeatedly.