In-laws didn't come to daughters 1st birthday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And it was a choice they made to move on Saturday vs Sunday. It's just a bad choice in my opinion. Especially when it was a CHOICE not something they had to do.

And you are making the much worse CHOICE to make a big deal about this and hold a grudge.

+1 Move on OP. Count yourself lucky that your problems are so minor that this is a big deal to you.

[Anonymous]

Why is it the last opportunity for everyone to get together? Is someone dying?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - but it's her first and probably only birthday where our family will come together. Sure she won't remember it but she'll have photos of everyone celebrating her except her grandparents.

You are making a much bigger deal out of this than it needs to be. My parents did not have a first bday party for me. I am not scarred. I have pics of a second birthday party where I am with my aunt. There are no other pics of any other family members (it's the only surviving picture from 4 moves). Again, NBD. Unless you harp on it your child's entire life (which it seems you may be predisposed to doing).

+1 I didn't even have grandparents growing up (2 died before I was born, and 2 were far away in a country that we couldn't afford plane tickets to.) You are lucky your child has so many people who love her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - but it's her first and probably only birthday where our family will come together. Sure she won't remember it but she'll have photos of everyone celebrating her except her grandparents.

You are making a much bigger deal out of this than it needs to be. My parents did not have a first bday party for me. I am not scarred. I have pics of a second birthday party where I am with my aunt. There are no other pics of any other family members (it's the only surviving picture from 4 moves). Again, NBD. Unless you harp on it your child's entire life (which it seems you may be predisposed to doing).

+1 I didn't even have grandparents growing up (2 died before I was born, and 2 were far away in a country that we couldn't afford plane tickets to.) You are lucky your child has so many people who love her.

Mine lived overseas also, we got to see them every two years. OP needs to learn how to count her blessings.

[Anonymous]

You sound tiresome OP

[Anonymous]

Relax people! I'm upset. Yes. Do I plan on dwelling on this forever, no. Is it about wanting to be at the center of the universe??! Are you f-zing crazy?

My family is important. If anyone in my family had a party planned and I was moving (again not a sudden thing). I would absolutely go. That's how I work. And I posed this question because I wasn't sure if I was an outlier in that thinking. I obviously am.

I make an effort, not everyone does. It's okay. I'm okay. Relax.

[Anonymous]

I cannot read through this but have to know: did anyone agree with OP??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Relax people! I'm upset. Yes. Do I plan on dwelling on this forever, no. Is it about wanting to be at the center of the universe??! Are you f-zing crazy?

My family is important. If anyone in my family had a party planned and I was moving (again not a sudden thing). I would absolutely go. That's how I work. And I posed this question because I wasn't sure if I was an outlier in that thinking. I obviously am.

I make an effort, not everyone does. It's okay. I'm okay. Relax.

nvm. I see OP remains clueless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Relax people! I'm upset. Yes. Do I plan on dwelling on this forever, no. Is it about wanting to be at the center of the universe??! Are you f-zing crazy?

My family is important. If anyone in my family had a party planned and I was moving (again not a sudden thing). I would absolutely go. That's how I work. And I posed this question because I wasn't sure if I was an outlier in that thinking. I obviously am.

I make an effort, not everyone does. It's okay. I'm okay. Relax.

The drama continues. OP, just because they couldn't make this BECAUSE THEY WERE MOVING, doesn't mean they are grandparents that don't make an effort. Stop being a martyr.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Relax people! I'm upset. Yes. Do I plan on dwelling on this forever, no. Is it about wanting to be at the center of the universe??! Are you f-zing crazy?

My family is important. If anyone in my family had a party planned and I was moving (again not a sudden thing). I would absolutely go. That's how I work. And I posed this question because I wasn't sure if I was an outlier in that thinking. I obviously am.

I make an effort, not everyone does. It's okay. I'm okay. Relax.

And the truth comes out. When faced with reality a check you lash out and try to make everybody else seem like they are overreacting while it was only you who overreacted(in several posts). I call narcissistic disorder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a first birthday party. It seems that no one gives a F because no one gives a F. Certainly the birthday girl doesn't.

Yeah, this. My kids had no awareness of their first birthday party. If my parents or in-laws weren't there that specific day but were good grand parents and around generally, I too wouldn't give an F about that particular day.

I think you need to really really really relax or it's gonna be a long ride.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot read through this but have to know: did anyone agree with OP??

There was one pp who said maybe grandparents could have made the effort, but not a big deal, but I suspect that was OP herself. This might be the second time we all agree on an issue, first being evil stepmom who wanted to ruin her SD's Halloween.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot read through this but have to know: did anyone agree with OP??

There was one pp who said maybe grandparents could have made the effort, but not a big deal, but I suspect that was OP herself. This might be the second time we all agree on an issue, first being evil stepmom who wanted to ruin her SD's Halloween.

Yea, you know an OP is out of touch when all of DCUM agrees they are being ridiculous in an OP vs. in-laws post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Relax people! I'm upset. Yes. Do I plan on dwelling on this forever, no. Is it about wanting to be at the center of the universe??! Are you f-zing crazy?

My family is important. If anyone in my family had a party planned and I was moving (again not a sudden thing). I would absolutely go. That's how I work. And I posed this question because I wasn't sure if I was an outlier in that thinking. I obviously am.

I make an effort, not everyone does. It's okay. I'm okay. Relax.

You keep saying that this is the last opportunity for everyone to be together. Why? If your family lives abroad, are they NEVER coming back to the US, ever? That's weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I may be off base but it's how I feel. Like I said - holidays and birthdays are important to me. Will my daughter remember - no and am I planning to remind her about her grandparents not coming, no. But we will not have another time together (both families) again. It's sad they made that choice.

You're not off-base to be upset. You are entitled to your feelings.

Exactly. Your feelings are valid, but if you complain to your ILs about this, you'll just be creating problems for no reason. What do you want - an apology? If they are involved grandparents, I'm sure they were sad to miss the party but they must have felt that it was unavoidable. Why pile on the guilt when it's already done? Your kid won't care. This is YOUR issue. Process your feelings of sadness and disappointment, recognize there is nothing you can do about it, and MOVE ON.