Anonymous wrote:I would much prefer to live in a box downtown, collecting welfare then live a miserable daily existence w/a man child.

Anonymous wrote:I can relate, my wife and I rarely have sex. It's platonic. I have thought about ending the marriage.

What I do is take stock of the whole marriage. Those things that work well. No real arguments. We support each other's career. We parent well. No argument over money. Sometimes, you focus too much on the negative and you take for granted things that other couples struggle with.

And, at least you can outsource your problem....Me, not so much.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can relate, my wife and I rarely have sex. It's platonic. I have thought about ending the marriage.

What I do is take stock of the whole marriage. Those things that work well. No real arguments. We support each other's career. We parent well. No argument over money. Sometimes, you focus too much on the negative and you take for granted things that other couples struggle with.

And, at least you can outsource your problem....Me, not so much.

A regular relationship with a higher end professional would help you.

Anonymous wrote:I can relate, my wife and I rarely have sex. It's platonic. I have thought about ending the marriage.

What I do is take stock of the whole marriage. Those things that work well. No real arguments. We support each other's career. We parent well. No argument over money. Sometimes, you focus too much on the negative and you take for granted things that other couples struggle with.

And, at least you can outsource your problem....Me, not so much.

Anonymous wrote:I can relate OP. I too have an unhelpful DH but also deal with him traveling for work approximately 75% of the time. That is not an exaggeration, he has been in Asia for 8 of the last 9 weeks and due back next week. I also work full time but from the house and we have a business outside of our corporate jobs. We are busy.

My situation is kind of an interesting case study because I kind of get to experience being a single mom as well as still being married. Sometimes it's truly easier to take care of the kids and the house by myself. THIS IS KEY. I am figuring out that if I just lower my expectations I don't get as disappointed or frustrated. I am certain that complaining about him not doing things is not working.

I have also experienced being very lonely and have observed some close friends after divorcing and dealing with being single and dating again and it's truly awful. Basically I don't want to be single or divorced and I believe that as the kids get older (mine are 5 and 2) things will get better with DH wanting to help more with them. His job is changing in the next few months and he will be home pretty much exclusively for the next 6-12 months after October so I think it will be a good test for us. I have asked him to go to counseling and he is open to it.

I do love him and am very attracted to him but we have built up some resentment that is going to be difficult to get past but I do want to believe that marriage vows really mean something so I will likely stick it out. We've also been married for 15 years and I know what we are like without the stress of kids so I think it makes sense for us to get through this part of life and hopefully things will improve.

Anonymous wrote:Just stop expecting anything from your husband. I no longer expect or ask for anything from mine. Just be thankful he's not abusing you, and learn to deal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can relate OP. I too have an unhelpful DH but also deal with him traveling for work approximately 75% of the time. That is not an exaggeration, he has been in Asia for 8 of the last 9 weeks and due back next week. I also work full time but from the house and we have a business outside of our corporate jobs. We are busy.

My situation is kind of an interesting case study because I kind of get to experience being a single mom as well as still being married. Sometimes it's truly easier to take care of the kids and the house by myself. THIS IS KEY. I am figuring out that if I just lower my expectations I don't get as disappointed or frustrated. I am certain that complaining about him not doing things is not working.

I have also experienced being very lonely and have observed some close friends after divorcing and dealing with being single and dating again and it's truly awful. Basically I don't want to be single or divorced and I believe that as the kids get older (mine are 5 and 2) things will get better with DH wanting to help more with them. His job is changing in the next few months and he will be home pretty much exclusively for the next 6-12 months after October so I think it will be a good test for us. I have asked him to go to counseling and he is open to it.

I do love him and am very attracted to him but we have built up some resentment that is going to be difficult to get past but I do want to believe that marriage vows really mean something so I will likely stick it out. We've also been married for 15 years and I know what we are like without the stress of kids so I think it makes sense for us to get through this part of life and hopefully things will improve.

the fact that he said he is open to therapy is cause for hope. If he refused that would be another story.