Dealing with a spouse who wants a $4,000 vacation that is not affordable

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[Post New]08/17/2016 12:57
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Anonymous
Between fixing the house and some other things, we have maybe $2,500 available but spouse and child are pushing for a larger vacation. I am very uncomfortable paying anything with credit or dipping into the financial cushion. Any ideas on how to manage this without starting WWIII at home?
[Post New]08/17/2016 13:08
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Between fixing the house and some other things, we have maybe $2,500 available but spouse and child are pushing for a larger vacation. I am very uncomfortable paying anything with credit or dipping into the financial cushion. Any ideas on how to manage this without starting WWIII at home?


Discuss the financial facts, discuss what each of you think is reasonable to spend, discuss what each of you hope to get with what you spend, and then come to the middle ground. Fight fair and leave emotion out of it. There isn't that much difference between 4K and 2.5K.
[Post New]08/17/2016 13:15
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Anonymous
Give him the option to come up with the extra money. I did this with DH for exactly the same thing (he wanted to rent a fancier beach house) and he sold some computer equipment we had lying around to come up with the money.

There are ways he (and your child) can come up with $1500 in vacation money: Sell things you'll never use, put in extra hours at work, find a discount on the trip.
[Post New]08/17/2016 13:17
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Between fixing the house and some other things, we have maybe $2,500 available but spouse and child are pushing for a larger vacation. I am very uncomfortable paying anything with credit or dipping into the financial cushion. Any ideas on how to manage this without starting WWIII at home?


If the financial cushion is $100k, go on the $4k trip. If it is $10k, no dice. You can afford the trip if you have a large cushion (that's what you save for, right?).
[Post New]08/17/2016 13:19
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Give him the option to come up with the extra money. I did this with DH for exactly the same thing (he wanted to rent a fancier beach house) and he sold some computer equipment we had lying around to come up with the money.

There are ways he (and your child) can come up with $1500 in vacation money: Sell things you'll never use, put in extra hours at work, find a discount on the trip.


But that doesn't really make sense. Money is money, whether it comes from a savings account or selling your stuff.
[Post New]08/17/2016 13:20
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Anonymous
Promise him butt sex if he chooses the cheaper trip
[Post New]08/17/2016 13:22
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Anonymous
There's no way to answer this without more information.

Is there a fundamental disagreement over how much funds are available or does your spouse want to put 1.5k on a credit card. Is your HHI 250k where carrying 1k over for a month or two is NBD or is it 50k where could make or break you?

Personally I put a lot of money into vacations because they are memories and experiences that build the foundations of our family (IE, time away from it all to focus on each other). For me personally, life is short and I want to see the world and my DH is on the same page, so sometimes we stretch for vacations. If you all aren't like that that is fine but this is like, a philosophical thing for some people. More information is the only way to really determine who's right/wrong here.
[Post New]08/17/2016 13:25
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Give him the option to come up with the extra money. I did this with DH for exactly the same thing (he wanted to rent a fancier beach house) and he sold some computer equipment we had lying around to come up with the money.

There are ways he (and your child) can come up with $1500 in vacation money: Sell things you'll never use, put in extra hours at work, find a discount on the trip.


But that doesn't really make sense. Money is money, whether it comes from a savings account or selling your stuff.

When I calculate my household budget and savings, I don't count the value of the stuff sitting around that I might be able to sell. If you're selling something that was going to sit around for 5 years or longer, then it becomes income if you sell it now. The point is if you want something badly enough, you need to work for it. It's not about working and stashing as much as you possibly can. If you want a fancy trip, then come up with the money.
[Post New]08/17/2016 13:35
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Anonymous

Find a viable alternative.

A trip to Bali? Choose Thailand.

Costa Rica? The Dominican Republic is less expensive.

Las Vegas? Try New Orleans instead.

Martha's Vineyard? Do off-season or drive to a closer beach.

"It's $4,000!!" is just going to shut down the conversation. Offering up a choice is a good way to negotiate.

And, hey, I do this when my children go nuts at Halloween. "We can spend this $400 on costumes now, but Xmas is going to look different." So, that's a path you can take, too. What would the extra $1500 mean? No winter break excursion? Can't get that X-Box, or driver's ed classes this year? Making it real to folks can help. FWIW, my children actually enjoy Halloween a lot more than any other holiday. If your family is willing to forgo other stuff, you may want to make room for this expense.

I'd start by changing the destination, adding a layover, or otherwise reducing the cost of the original vacation idea. See where it gets you. It will only be WWIII if you present an all-or-nothing scenario.
[Post New]08/17/2016 14:09
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Anonymous
I'd try to figure out how to do the destination cheaper. Can you figure out a way to cook meals stead of eat out, camp instead of hotels, drive instead of fly, skip tours, etc?
[Post New]08/17/2016 14:13
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Between fixing the house and some other things, we have maybe $2,500 available but spouse and child are pushing for a larger vacation. I am very uncomfortable paying anything with credit or dipping into the financial cushion. Any ideas on how to manage this without starting WWIII at home?


If the financial cushion is $100k, go on the $4k trip. If it is $10k, no dice. You can afford the trip if you have a large cushion (that's what you save for, right?).


No! Financial cushion is for emergencies like job loss or medical problem. Definitely not for vacation. Good grief. This is why Americans are in such debt.
[Post New]08/17/2016 14:17
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Anonymous
Vacation should be about 10% gross
[Post New]08/17/2016 14:27
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MikeL
Member Offline
Anonymous wrote:Promise him butt sex if he chooses the cheaper trip

This is the perfect answer.
[Post New]08/17/2016 14:38
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Vacation should be about 10% gross


According to who?
[Post New]08/17/2016 14:42
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Vacation should be about 10% gross


According to who?


Vacations 'should' be what you want them to be. We have the income to do fancier vacations but while my kids are tiny we prefer inexpensive close driving beach ones.
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