Dealing with a spouse who wants a $4,000 vacation that is not affordable

[Anonymous]

I love all the posters assuming the spouse pushing for the expensive vacation is the husband. I dare to say most guys don't give a shit if they sit on a $10 beach chair outside of a tent drinking a Miller Lite and cooking hot dogs for a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Vacation should be about 10% gross

According to who?

The SAH who doesn't get that 10% "gross" actually comes from the NET which means the cost of the vacation is actually 10% gross + the withholding rate for that 10% so.... the vacation can cost way more than the 10% of the husbands income.

Think of it this way.... a friend of mine who owns a book store told me that he has to sell 4 dollars worth of stuff from his store to earn 1 dollar of gross profit (take-home is after he pays taxes etc...). He said that any time his wife or kids wanted something he would tell them to get in the store and sell the equivalent amount. in this case... get in the store and sell 16K work of books.

An another note.... who the heck actually thinks vacations should be 10% of gross income? that is insane! That is like saying amount spend on vacation should be equal to the base amount put into retirement. Vacations are a luxury not a necessity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Between fixing the house and some other things, we have maybe $2,500 available but spouse and child are pushing for a larger vacation. I am very uncomfortable paying anything with credit or dipping into the financial cushion. Any ideas on how to manage this without starting WWIII at home?

Just take it. Cheaper than the divorce you really want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Vacation should be about 10% gross

According to who?

The SAH who doesn't get that 10% "gross" actually comes from the NET which means the cost of the vacation is actually 10% gross + the withholding rate for that 10% so.... the vacation can cost way more than the 10% of the husbands income.

Think of it this way.... a friend of mine who owns a book store told me that he has to sell 4 dollars worth of stuff from his store to earn 1 dollar of gross profit (take-home is after he pays taxes etc...). He said that any time his wife or kids wanted something he would tell them to get in the store and sell the equivalent amount. in this case... get in the store and sell 16K work of books.

An another note.... who the heck actually thinks vacations should be 10% of gross income? that is insane! That is like saying amount spend on vacation should be equal to the base amount put into retirement. Vacations are a luxury not a necessity.

We spend about 20 percent of our gross income on vacations. Is that wrong?

[Anonymous]

People work jobs for different reasons and people have different financial goals. For instance, some people work in order to be able to spend money and enjoy life now. Some people work to save money and invest in better things and enjoy live later (like retirement.) Some people really want a great vacation to enjoy their families and relax; some people want to spend money on a nice car; etc.

There isn't a right answer. It's just how you see life and the purpose of your money.

I'd try to have a neutral conversation about financial goals. Prioritize those goals as a couple. If enjoying vacations now is a high priority, spend the $4K. If the result of that conversation is that you really want to save money to have a large cushion or save up to buy a second home, then you both are on the same page to spend less on vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love all the posters assuming the spouse pushing for the expensive vacation is the husband. I dare to say most guys don't give a shit if they sit on a $10 beach chair outside of a tent drinking a Miller Lite and cooking hot dogs for a week.

From my longtime DCUM observation, usually when an OP deliberately obscures the gender, it is the wife writing and being vague with the honorable intention of giveing her husband at least a chance at a fair hearing.

[Anonymous]

I value vacations and would take the trip. $1500 is not much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Vacation should be about 10% gross

According to who?

The SAH who doesn't get that 10% "gross" actually comes from the NET which means the cost of the vacation is actually 10% gross + the withholding rate for that 10% so.... the vacation can cost way more than the 10% of the husbands income.

Think of it this way.... a friend of mine who owns a book store told me that he has to sell 4 dollars worth of stuff from his store to earn 1 dollar of gross profit (take-home is after he pays taxes etc...). He said that any time his wife or kids wanted something he would tell them to get in the store and sell the equivalent amount. in this case... get in the store and sell 16K work of books.

An another note.... who the heck actually thinks vacations should be 10% of gross income? that is insane! That is like saying amount spend on vacation should be equal to the base amount put into retirement. Vacations are a luxury not a necessity.

We spend about 20 percent of our gross income on vacations. Is that wrong?

No, but there is no "should". That would be us spending 70k on vacations a year. We take approximately 4 weeks off a year. It would be INSANEasier to spend nearly 20k/wk for 4 people to take vacations. What spoiled little brats I'd raise.

[Anonymous]

^^sorry, 20% would be us spending 140k/yr. That's reckless (for us).

[Anonymous]

If $4k is for a week, price out 5 nights instead.

[Anonymous]

Have you shown them the budget?

I insist that we update our spreadsheet every couple of months, OP. My husband is incapable of remembering how little we have and has grand plans of being able to afford X, Y, Z. I have to sit him down in front of the spreadsheet and point numbers out for him to admit that no, we don't have enough money.

My kids still take me at my word when I tell them we can't afford stuff, but I'm perfectly willing to show them the budget, which includes what we save each month for our retirement and their college funds. They need to learn this stuff too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Between fixing the house and some other things, we have maybe $2,500 available but spouse and child are pushing for a larger vacation. I am very uncomfortable paying anything with credit or dipping into the financial cushion. Any ideas on how to manage this without starting WWIII at home?

Unless your child contributes to the HHI, s/he has no say in how much to spend on vacation (or anything else). Once you establish a budget, sure, seek DC's input if you want. But DC gets no say in what the budget is.

[Anonymous]

Three people for $4000 is pretty cheap anyway for a week.

[Anonymous]

^^sorry, 20% would be us spending 140k/yr. That's reckless (for us).

Um, you make 700k a year. I am not sure this is the thread for you.

[Anonymous]

Our HHI is $400k gross and our vacations this year will be a) week at Disney w in laws (they cover tix so our cost is about $3k) a week at the beach ($2k for the condo) and anniversary weekend to NYC (about $1k). You 10% and 20% people are crazy.