Dealing with a spouse who wants a $4,000 vacation that is not affordable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love all the posters assuming the spouse pushing for the expensive vacation is the husband. I dare to say most guys don't give a shit if they sit on a $10 beach chair outside of a tent drinking a Miller Lite and cooking hot dogs for a week.

And get a way from the DCUM harpies? Sounds like heaven.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:See if there's anywhere to cut.

Cut back from one week to 4 or 5 nights.

Cut out restaurants until the trip.

Skip the mani-pedi and go longer between haircuts.

Cut back your grocery bills. No meat. Eat cheap.

No Starbucks.

No shopping at target, the mall, or online.

People piss away money on useless stuff...stop that, and see if you realize a savings in your checking account.

My favorite DCUM budgeting tip. Between this and "cut cable," DCUMers believe one can afford anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Vacation should be about 10% gross

According to who?

The SAH who doesn't get that 10% "gross" actually comes from the NET which means the cost of the vacation is actually 10% gross + the withholding rate for that 10% so.... the vacation can cost way more than the 10% of the husbands income.

Think of it this way.... a friend of mine who owns a book store told me that he has to sell 4 dollars worth of stuff from his store to earn 1 dollar of gross profit (take-home is after he pays taxes etc...). He said that any time his wife or kids wanted something he would tell them to get in the store and sell the equivalent amount. in this case... get in the store and sell 16K work of books.

An another note.... who the heck actually thinks vacations should be 10% of gross income? that is insane! That is like saying amount spend on vacation should be equal to the base amount put into retirement. Vacations are a luxury not a necessity.

I don't think vacation is a luxury. In the end of the day, it is the best memories that you will ever have. Your body does need change from a routine .

You need to vacation in less wealthy areas if you think a vacation is not a luxury. Get out more. Seriously, you need it. You know what is a luxury? Clean water. Fresh air. Seatbelts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Between fixing the house and some other things, we have maybe $2,500 available but spouse and child are pushing for a larger vacation. I am very uncomfortable paying anything with credit or dipping into the financial cushion. Any ideas on how to manage this without starting WWIII at home?

What about the benefit (enjoyment) side of the equation? Only a few posters have touched on this aspect.

I strongly suspect this is a simple matter of different preferences in relation to what "goods" you consume (vacations vs. cars or Bali vs. Disneyland, or economic security vs. consumption).

What type of compensation (not just money) and how much of it would you need to accept his vacation choice?

Ask him what type and amount of compensation he would require to forego the vacation, the raison d'etre of the "butt sex" proposal.

Negotiate. You both probably need more of something you're not getting.

Ahhhh, the American cliche in the flesh. No ability to delay gratification
Live in the moment because it makes you feel good. Must feed the monster.

[Anonymous]

Be happy your husband is willing to flush even the $2500 on a vacation.

[Anonymous]

Tell your wife you can go but that next year or Xmas ir whatever will have to a lesser thing.

[Anonymous]

I'm the one that never wanted to vacation. My husband quit bugging me about going on trips a few years ago. He'd go visit his family a few times a year instead. I have no family.

We used our vacation budget to pay off our house 6 years into a 15 year refinance. My idea.

He's damn happy now.

I get separation anxiety when I leave my home and pets more than a few days. I'm not the vacationing type.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the one that never wanted to vacation. My husband quit bugging me about going on trips a few years ago. He'd go visit his family a few times a year instead. I have no family.

We used our vacation budget to pay off our house 6 years into a 15 year refinance. My idea.

He's damn happy now.

I get separation anxiety when I leave my home and pets more than a few days. I'm not the vacationing type.

You sound like a dream. I could never be with someone who did not travel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Promise him butt sex if he chooses the cheaper trip

This.

+1

I have yet to see a better solution in this thread, so +1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the one that never wanted to vacation. My husband quit bugging me about going on trips a few years ago. He'd go visit his family a few times a year instead. I have no family.

We used our vacation budget to pay off our house 6 years into a 15 year refinance. My idea.

He's damn happy now.

I get separation anxiety when I leave my home and pets more than a few days. I'm not the vacationing type.

No children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Vacation should be about 10% gross

According to who?

Not us. 2% or less.

[Anonymous]

What are the two vacations you are deciding between?