Anonymous wrote:OP, I hate to say it, but if you keep talking to your friends about a "homewrecker of a whore" you may be sending off a lot of bitter vibes and wanting to talk about things that they don't. I'm not saying you don't have legitimate reasons to feel hurt, but people don't want to feel uncomfortably in the middle of things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The "friends" are aware why we separated. My ex had an affair and a child with his homewrecker of a whore. To me this is doubly hurtful. I feel like they just left me in the cold.

During my ex's affair and when he moved out, I was reeling and not very strong emotionally to reach out to anyone.

It's possible they thought you didn't want to be bothered with them. You don't know what your husband told them, so why hold it against them? And not to be unkind, but another possibility is that they cared for your husband more than you and would rather be friends with him. Unless you were under the impression that you were super close to them personally, it's disappointing but not really a reason to be angry- those things happen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. No, I never discussed our problems with the "friends". I have made new friends and would not be comfortable again in their presence.

So who cares then?

Your reply indicates you've moved on. Why are you posting?

OP here. I thought I was being too harsh in my attitude towards them. Our kids are the same age, so when my ex socializes with them, he takes our child along. If for a hypothetical reason, my ex and I were to ever reconcile and get back together, I don't think I could ever invite them over nor go over to their house. I thought maybe I was being too petty.

thanks for your response.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you come across as defensive and anxious. You're planning out bean-counting responses for extreme hypotheticals that will never come to pass. ("If we were to get back together, I couldn't talk to them....') We have no way of knowing if this is all the result of the betrayal, or this is how you always were. It sounds like these people were his friends and were friendly to you.

Move on.

Anonymous wrote:Op I think you sound fine and you have been through a lot. Not sure why everyone is jumping on you. I think that these friends sound like people you wouldn't have gotten any support from anyway. Plus, is it possible your ExDH is making you the one sounding crazy? In any case, i would move on to people are kinder.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hate to say it, but if you keep talking to your friends about a "homewrecker of a whore" you may be sending off a lot of bitter vibes and wanting to talk about things that they don't. I'm not saying you don't have legitimate reasons to feel hurt, but people don't want to feel uncomfortably in the middle of things.

OP here. I mentioned before that I never talked to the ex-friends about our separation. I just refer to the homewrecker in this post, to anonymous people to get a somewhat objective opinion. In fact, we never talked about the homewrecker because they never contacted me! I would not have brought up the homewrecker in our apparently fair weather friendship.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hate to say it, but if you keep talking to your friends about a "homewrecker of a whore" you may be sending off a lot of bitter vibes and wanting to talk about things that they don't. I'm not saying you don't have legitimate reasons to feel hurt, but people don't want to feel uncomfortably in the middle of things.

OP here. I mentioned before that I never talked to the ex-friends about our separation. I just refer to the homewrecker in this post, to anonymous people to get a somewhat objective opinion. In fact, we never talked about the homewrecker because they never contacted me! I would not have brought up the homewrecker in our apparently fair weather friendship.

If neither of you reached out to the other in two years you weren't friends, you were friendly. Fair weather friend doesn't seem to be the right label to attach to them, it sounds like you were friendly with each other out of convenience.