Anonymous wrote:OK, dumb side question: why do people write trans*, with the apostrophe?

OP, how do you respond to people who say there are other ways to treat transgender issues, with therapy and medication, and that these are the only "right" ways, that you shouldn't be accommodated, the "lipstick on a pig" poster, etc. Did you attempt any of those before transitioning? Do you see it as a body dysmorphic disorder, or something completely separate?

Anonymous wrote:Do you use the ladies room in public? Ever encounter an issue?

Anonymous wrote:

Gaia wrote:

My boss knows after I was outed by somebody who was a friend of mine, but my boss is fine with everything. I haven't told any coworkers, but I'm pretty sure that some of them suspect.

A coworker used to make a lot of tranny jokes that were cruel and hurtful, but my boss and one coworker who I think knows cracked down on that and put a stop to it. I've been debating coming out to them for a few months now, but haven't yet found the courage to do it.

Does this mean you present as male (Im sorry if I screw up the lingo) at work? That must be hard, I'm sorry. To have to flip back and forth like that.

FWIW, I'm not sure that transitioning is the best way to treat transsexualism but I think that everyone should be allowed to live their lives in pursuit of their own happiness.

Anonymous wrote:I don't agree with transgender; however, I appreciate your openness in this thread and I feel that I've learned something. Thank you.

Gaia wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Gaia wrote:

My boss knows after I was outed by somebody who was a friend of mine, but my boss is fine with everything. I haven't told any coworkers, but I'm pretty sure that some of them suspect.

A coworker used to make a lot of tranny jokes that were cruel and hurtful, but my boss and one coworker who I think knows cracked down on that and put a stop to it. I've been debating coming out to them for a few months now, but haven't yet found the courage to do it.

Does this mean you present as male (Im sorry if I screw up the lingo) at work? That must be hard, I'm sorry. To have to flip back and forth like that.

FWIW, I'm not sure that transitioning is the best way to treat transsexualism but I think that everyone should be allowed to live their lives in pursuit of their own happiness.

No, I present as female at work and in all other aspects of my life right now, but an ex-friend told my boss about my history, gave him my birth name (that I've had legally changed) and showed him old pictures of me when I presented as male.

Anonymous wrote:What are some phrases or statements you've heard that express fundamental disagreement with your lifestyle, but are phrases that you do not consider mean-spirited, or bigoted?

Gaia wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think there would have been any way to continue living as a man and being accepting of yourself?

Is there any way you can describe what it feels like to feel like your gender and sex don't match up?

No. I might have been able to suppress my feelings enough to get by on a day to day basis, but I would have been very unhappy.

Every trans person has a different experience, so please understand that my views and history are mine alone.

I felt uncomfortable growing up. I'm a very sensory person, so I've described it as constantly feeling like there was a tag itching me on my clothing, or that uncomfortable toe seam on socks. I was never truly at ease. I didn't hate my penis, but hated that having it meant that I was automatically supposed to subscribe to traditional masculine thoughts and actions. I felt like I was pretending. I would study what boys and men did and then replicated the behaviors that I saw, but constantly felt like I was playing a character.

Transitioning has changed me from wearing an itchy wool shirt to the smoothest, softest silk shirt that feels wonderful when I wear it.

Anonymous wrote:What are some phrases or statements you've heard that express fundamental disagreement with your lifestyle, but are phrases that you do not consider mean-spirited, or bigoted?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are some phrases or statements you've heard that express fundamental disagreement with your lifestyle, but are phrases that you do not consider mean-spirited, or bigoted?

I'm curious about this too. I do not agree with transgender in any way, shape or form. However, I believe strongly in tolerance. I have no fear or hostility about the issue and feel strongly appraised of both the scientific and intellectual opinion on the matter. To be respectful to the situation, what terminology expresses lack of agreement, but is unbigoted and not mean spirited. Thank you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are some phrases or statements you've heard that express fundamental disagreement with your lifestyle, but are phrases that you do not consider mean-spirited, or bigoted?

I'm curious about this too. I do not agree with transgender in any way, shape or form. However, I believe strongly in tolerance. I have no fear or hostility about the issue and feel strongly appraised of both the scientific and intellectual opinion on the matter. To be respectful to the situation, what terminology expresses lack of agreement, but is unbigoted and not mean spirited. Thank you.

I don't think you're going to get what you're looking for here, pp. Not "agreeing with" transgender means you deny its reality in some way. You're asking, how can I deny your reality while still respecting you? but denial of someone's reality is inherently disrespectful. Maybe if you knew a person well you might be able to find a middle ground where you respected the person but not their understanding of their own gender, but you can't get there with a stranger.

Gaia wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you use the ladies room in public? Ever encounter an issue?

Yes, though I avoid bathrooms as much as I can. I generally wait until I can find a family, single stall bathroom to avoid the issue. I've had people scream when I walk in, go get security, or tell me I'm going to hell.

But on the flip side, I've been punched in the face when in the men's room early in my transition. I've had men threaten to rape me.

Gaia wrote:Hello, DCUM. With all of the posts lately regarding people who are transgender, I've decided to open myself up to questions and discussions. Did you know that most Americans say that they do not know anybody who is transgender? I know that this thread won't be the same as really knowing me, but I figure it is hopefully at least a start.

Some basic information about me:

I was DMAB (designated male at birth), but have been on HRT (hormone replacement therapy) for years. I use she/her pronouns. I have not have bottom surgery and am not sure if I ever will.

I'm in my 30's, divorced with kids, live in VA and work at a non-profit. I'm also the OP of the Wicca AMA, and yes, I'm aware that by admitting to that, people might be less likely to take me seriously.

I understand that a lot of people think transgender individuals are mentally ill, crazy, looking for attention, or thousands of other opinions. That's fine. People can think what they want, and I really do not mind. But please know that even if you think that I'm not a woman, that I'm insane, or that I'm a troll, I'm still a real person on the other side of your computer screen who has feelings that can be hurt. Please treat me with respect, and I'll do the same to you.

So, grab a cup of tea and talk with me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are some phrases or statements you've heard that express fundamental disagreement with your lifestyle, but are phrases that you do not consider mean-spirited, or bigoted?

I'm curious about this too. I do not agree with transgender in any way, shape or form. However, I believe strongly in tolerance. I have no fear or hostility about the issue and feel strongly appraised of both the scientific and intellectual opinion on the matter. To be respectful to the situation, what terminology expresses lack of agreement, but is unbigoted and not mean spirited. Thank you.

Anonymous wrote:

Gaia wrote:Hello, DCUM. With all of the posts lately regarding people who are transgender, I've decided to open myself up to questions and discussions. Did you know that most Americans say that they do not know anybody who is transgender? I know that this thread won't be the same as really knowing me, but I figure it is hopefully at least a start.

Some basic information about me:

I was DMAB (designated male at birth), but have been on HRT (hormone replacement therapy) for years. I use she/her pronouns. I have not have bottom surgery and am not sure if I ever will.

I'm in my 30's, divorced with kids, live in VA and work at a non-profit. I'm also the OP of the Wicca AMA, and yes, I'm aware that by admitting to that, people might be less likely to take me seriously.

I understand that a lot of people think transgender individuals are mentally ill, crazy, looking for attention, or thousands of other opinions. That's fine. People can think what they want, and I really do not mind. But please know that even if you think that I'm not a woman, that I'm insane, or that I'm a troll, I'm still a real person on the other side of your computer screen who has feelings that can be hurt. Please treat me with respect, and I'll do the same to you.

So, grab a cup of tea and talk with me.

I just want to say that I am one of those who suspects transgender people might be mentally ill, but this OP really touches my heart. What you are doing by starting this thread and being so vulnerable is amazing and huge and meaningful. Thank you for doing this.