I'm Transgender. Come talk to me!
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Gaia
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Hello, DCUM. With all of the posts lately regarding people who are transgender, I've decided to open myself up to questions and discussions. Did you know that most Americans say that they do not know anybody who is transgender? I know that this thread won't be the same as really knowing me, but I figure it is hopefully at least a start.
Some basic information about me: I was DMAB (designated male at birth), but have been on HRT (hormone replacement therapy) for years. I use she/her pronouns. I have not have bottom surgery and am not sure if I ever will. I'm in my 30's, divorced with kids, live in VA and work at a non-profit. I'm also the OP of the Wicca AMA, and yes, I'm aware that by admitting to that, people might be less likely to take me seriously. I understand that a lot of people think transgender individuals are mentally ill, crazy, looking for attention, or thousands of other opinions. That's fine. People can think what they want, and I really do not mind. But please know that even if you think that I'm not a woman, that I'm insane, or that I'm a troll, I'm still a real person on the other side of your computer screen who has feelings that can be hurt. Please treat me with respect, and I'll do the same to you. So, grab a cup of tea and talk with me. |
Anonymous
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Are you happy?
Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you continued to live your life as a male and maybe practiced a more mainstream religion? Why do you think you have a proclivity to go against societal norms? What abuse/trauma did you experience in your childhood? What was your relationship with your mother growing up? Most importantly, why do you believe you are transgender? Do you think it is a birth defect? Biology? Neurology? Something else? |
Anonymous
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Medical intervention (hormones and surgery) is pretty drastic. What do you think transgendered people should have to do before using medical intervention (eg turn 18, mental health evaluations, etc)?
Esp curious about how you think parents should handle treatment and intervention for transgendered minors. |
Anonymous
| When did you begin HRT in relation to when you got married and also divorced? Is being transgender the reason for your divorce (or a factor)? |
Anonymous
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Did you know you were transgendered before you were married? Is that why you got divorced? I assume you were straight during marriage?
Can you talk about the process of becoming transgendered? (more like when you came out to everyone?) |
Anonymous
NOT the OP, but I want to address the hormone thing because it comes up a lot for parents of trans* kids. Starting HRT after age 18, if you know your child identifies as trans*, is actually too late. The current thinking is to start the HRT before puberty starts, so that the child doesn't develop all of the secondary sex characteristics of their assigned sex. If the child later decides not to pursue the HRT, or that they perfer to identify as genderqueer or butch or whatever instead of trans*, then they can stop taking the HRT and will go through puberty as normal. So, it's not that drastic. |
Gaia
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I'm as happy as I can be, I guess. Things could certainly be better, but they could also be worse. I don't intentionally go against social norms. I didn't look at different religions and pick the most out there one; I found a religion that reflects what my beliefs are. No abuse. I had a pretty happy childhood. My relationship with my mother was fine. We were close. She passed away when I was in high school. I don't believe I am transgender. I know that I am. I never felt fully right in my body and in my life when I presented as a man. It felt like I was acting or wearing a mask/costume and being a character. It was exhausting! I'm not completely sure of the science behind being transgender. I know some scientists think it is biology/neurology, some think it is mental. I have no desire to analyze why I'm transgender or what "caused it". |
Anonymous
Have there been any studies done on forcing your body to accept synthetic hormones for years on end? |
Anonymous
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So I think I would say that being transgender isn't about who you are attracted to, it's about how you as a person identify yourself (in very general, simplistic terms).
But are you physically attracted to men or women? And if it's women, and you're dating a woman, is she a lesbian? Or if it's a man, is he gay b/c he has male parts as do you, or would you also date someone who is transgender? I guess I don't understand how that all works. Good for you for being brave to open yourself up to this. |
Anonymous
| Are you attracted to men or women? How do you address being transgender when approaching a possible date? |
Anonymous
| How was your relationship with your father? |
Gaia
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The correct term is simply transgender, not transgendered. There are already guidelines in place that you must follow before transitioning, and I agree with them. Before I could start on hormones, doctors made sure that I fit the criteria. My doctor had me live as a woman for six months (using she/her pronouns, wearing traditionally women's clothing, using the new name I chose for myself) before he would prescribe the hormones. |
Anonymous
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I think you are brave to do this.
I will admit I don't think this is the healthiest way to live ones life, but I am not in your shoes so I do my best to understand why you may choose to live your life this way. Have you ever regretted doing this to yourself? Do you have children? Do you want them? Why do you still have male genitalia if you feel you are a woman? |
Anonymous
| Just wanted to say I like this AMA and also liked your Wicca one. Really interesting! |
Gaia
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No, my wife and I would have divorced anyways. She got pregnant when we were in college, so we quickly married. We always knew we weren't right for each other, but stayed with each other (and had a second kid) out of familiarity and convenience. My coming out to her is what officially prompted her to leave, but we both had one foot out the door already. I didn't start HRT until after we were separated. |