Denise101 wrote:My 12 year old daughter has been dealing with retentive encopresis since age 6. She avoids going to the toilet at all. This results in soiling and the production of an amazing huge toilet-clogging log-like object every week. We have been trying for years to get her to talk about this, but when we do talk about this, the response is ALWAYS "I don't know" despite what her pedi, GI doc and psychologist tried to do or suggested we do to get her to talk about it. We switched psychologists last year after a year of not talking about this, no luck.

We have tried so many treatment plans for years, specifically tailored to her, such as enemas, scheduled toilet sittings, rewards, consequences, psychologist, etc. she just keeps holding it in. Right before summer, her pedi and the GI doc laid out a clear treatment plan of laxatives, regular bathroom visits, and a rewards program. She did take the Miralax (2 table spoons) but she just kept holding it in and soiling her pants. She avoided going to the toilet. I made her stay at the toilet and told her "if you poop, I will buy you XYZ" (something she REALLY wants)" you can do XYZ only after you poop" and not letting her do things "you can't do XYZ until you poop" and XYZ would be something she LOVES to do. I wouldn't let her leave the toilet until she pooped, so she sat there for hours, no luck. When school started, she refuses to take the Miralax.

Now we laid out a new treatment plan. We TRIED to involve her, the response is again "I don't know." She is supposed to take an enema every morning and sit on the toilet, but she fights daily about taking it. When she does take it, she holds it in and won't sit on the toilet. There is also a diet plan she refuses to follow. She is not supposed to drink dairy, but drinks milk at school. Now the past 2 weeks she refused all treatment which we fight daily about. She refuses to sit on the toilet, no matter what we try. 2 years ago we tried ucanpooptoo, didn't help.

We asked her why she holds it in. Does pooping hurt? Does it scare you to poop? Does it feel good to hold it in? The answer is always "I don't know" and you can question her for hours and hear "I don't know". We explained to her digestion and she knows why she needs to poop. We ruled out any physiological reasons for retention, and all the professionals working with her believe this is entirely behavioral. Luckily her friends don't notice, but one day her friends might smell her soiling, and I talked to her about this, how it would affect, boys, high school, etc. Her response was "I don't know" and she would not talk about this.

Has anyone gone through this? Does anybody have suggestions for me? Any advice appreciated.

Anonymous wrote:Have her drink water or juice before school and then after school, many glasses of fluids until bedtime.

Anonymous wrote:You need to let it go and let her work it out for herself. You have become very controlling with her pooping. She is rebelling. You can't control her eating or her elimination.

You should probably back off in a big, big way. Give up. Tell her that it si up to her to resolve this problem. She knows what she has to do. Make her do her own laundry.