12 year old with encopresis, I'm at my wits end?

[Anonymous]

That sounds so stressful! I recommend CBT as well. I know it's in Boston but the Center for Anxiety Research Disorder at Boston University has intensive programs for long distance patients.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had encopresis since age 4. I did the exact same things your daughter is doing. I didn't respond to any interventions. I stopped at 14. I went to a new foster home that summer, and the foster family didn't say anything about my underwear. I stopped because adults stopped trying to control my bowel habits. I only now realize I did this because I needed to feel in control of my bowel habits, but back then I did not.

I think backing off will help. Say something like "I can't control what you do with your body, now your poop is your responsibility. I'm going to back off, but if you need my help I will be there".

I also wonder if she was (and possibly still is) molested. That definitely can lead to encopresis.

+1

[Anonymous]

we have been dealing with this for a year with my 5 YO. I can't imagine dealing with it for 6 years like you have. It is making me INSANE. So many of the PPs made such nasty comments, too.

I think many PPs are right that this is a control issue. My sister did something very similar, only with eating rather than with elimination. She found my mother to be very controlling, so she used to throw out her lunch at school on a daily basis and feed her dinner to the garbage disposal.

I haven't read all of the posts, but the amount of Miralax you mentioned doesn't sound like enough to me to really clear out the colon and let the colon rest. My understanding is that that amount of withholding over that period of time leads to an enlarged colon. You need to give her enough Miralax over a long enough period of time to get her colon to shrink.

That said, you need a compliant patient for that.

Maybe at the end of the day I'd be tempted to say (with a 12 year old) child, you have a problem. I will not say another word about it until you are ready to deal with it. It is your choice (but of course I would continue making her clean up after it.)

I so feel for you, OP. OMG. What a nightmare.