12 year old with encopresis, I'm at my wits end?

[Anonymous]

Combination some Valium and mineral oil? Our DD has chronic constipation as a toddler -- mineral oil. Does not smooth our the poo; it causes water to go into the intestine. best of luck with this problem OP. Your DD probably is swimming in shame. So sorry.

[Anonymous]

PS If I were you, I would buy the best flushing toilet and have it installed. Not that expensive.

[Anonymous]

Maybe just let her go in her pants, then have her put medical gloves on, clean the clothes, disinfect everything, and be done. At some point she will grow tired of this and will decide she wants to live a more "normal" life. I have seen big changes in my child with mild special needs at this 12-13 age that have really surprised me, including taking more responsibility for himself, setting goals, thinking about the future. But it would have never come through my interventions. They came when I backed off on some things. If she refuses to at least clean up her own messes though, and is generally uncooperative, that is a general behavior problem and a cognitive behavioral therapist can help YOU get some control back (never mind over the toileting issues). The idea of a diaper is a good one for when she needs to go. I remember reading that some younger kids when toilet training prefer to poop in a diaper. Maybe it was a sensory or temperature thing, safety, whatever. Maybe she needs that kind of environment to go, so you could offer a Depends every evening if that's how she needs to go. I remember those parents would eventually cut a hole in the diaper and let the child sit on the toilet but with the diaper still on, with the hole in it, and gradually transition that way--for kids who had that issue. Good luck to your family. Someday this won't be an issue. Try the less is more approach for your own sanity as well as to invite a change since you say nothing is working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if you arent familiar with encopresis you totally cannot relate to this post.

if you are *like me*....you know the hell that this is.

OP...my son is 13 and we have been dealing with this since age 3. I go back and forth between feeling furious, trying evreything under the sun, feeling bad for him, feeling guilty...its a total nightmare.

we are seeing a new specialist next month so i am really holding my breath. we too have tried everything under the sun. nothing works.

its so awful.

i take solace ONLY in knowing that everyone i speak to says that it never lasts forever. eventually, the kid outgrows it. you dont hear about 29 year olds with encopresis.

ugh, i know how awful it is!!

You don't really hear about it with 12 and 13 year olds either. This is fucking gross

[Anonymous]

OMG, you are living in my hightmare. My 5yo DS has a milder form and its a struggle daily, but to deal with 12 yo...
No real advice, just hugs from me. I am so sorry...

[Anonymous]

OP - fix the medical problem first then deal with the pychological ones. Get her to the best medical professionals - get their advice and follow it to a tee. Your judgement needs to be removed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:http://www.hopkinschildrens.org/chronic-constipation-clinic.aspx

Take her to Johns Hopkins Chronic Constipation Clinic

THANK YOU!!! I am PP with 5yo DS with this issue. making appt today

[Anonymous]

Has she started her period yet ? If she has how did that go? Does she take care of using pads or tampons? If she hasn't started yet I would fear she may refuse to take care of her period as well.

[Anonymous]

I had encopresis since age 4. I did the exact same things your daughter is doing. I didn't respond to any interventions. I stopped at 14. I went to a new foster home that summer, and the foster family didn't say anything about my underwear. I stopped because adults stopped trying to control my bowel habits. I only now realize I did this because I needed to feel in control of my bowel habits, but back then I did not.

I think backing off will help. Say something like "I can't control what you do with your body, now your poop is your responsibility. I'm going to back off, but if you need my help I will be there".

I also wonder if she was (and possibly still is) molested. That definitely can lead to encopresis.

[Anonymous]

Agree with the repost in SN. This is a common problem for kids on the spectrum. The reason your child can't respond is because they now have megacolon (colon is distended) and probably irritable bowel syndrome and fecalomas so really don't know what is happening in their G.I. system. You need to see a pediatric gastroenterologist right away. Our pediatrician missed this for years even though I was complaining DC was in pain and that there was something wrong. Insist on an x-ray, you will probably see fecalomas lining up one after another inside the large intestine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:if you arent familiar with encopresis you totally cannot relate to this post.

if you are *like me*....you know the hell that this is.

OP...my son is 13 and we have been dealing with this since age 3. I go back and forth between feeling furious, trying evreything under the sun, feeling bad for him, feeling guilty...its a total nightmare.

we are seeing a new specialist next month so i am really holding my breath. we too have tried everything under the sun. nothing works.

its so awful.

i take solace ONLY in knowing that everyone i speak to says that it never lasts forever. eventually, the kid outgrows it. you dont hear about 29 year olds with encopresis.

ugh, i know how awful it is!!

You don't really hear about it with 12 and 13 year olds either. This is fucking gross

And you are an awful person. The OP doesn't need to be told her child has a problem. Exactly how do you think you are being helpful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:if you arent familiar with encopresis you totally cannot relate to this post.

if you are *like me*....you know the hell that this is.

OP...my son is 13 and we have been dealing with this since age 3. I go back and forth between feeling furious, trying evreything under the sun, feeling bad for him, feeling guilty...its a total nightmare.

we are seeing a new specialist next month so i am really holding my breath. we too have tried everything under the sun. nothing works.

its so awful.

i take solace ONLY in knowing that everyone i speak to says that it never lasts forever. eventually, the kid outgrows it. you dont hear about 29 year olds with encopresis.

ugh, i know how awful it is!!

You don't really hear about it with 12 and 13 year olds either. This is fucking gross

You don't hear about it because those who suffer, both the kids and parents, feel such shame. Because of people like you.
However solace is found when you speak to actual doctors who see actual patients and who know that this is not uncommon, even for kids to suffer into middle school.
You are an ass. Hope you never have kids who suffer with an illness or disability. Your insensitivity and lack of compassion makes you fucking gross.

[Anonymous]

Why reward the teenaged poster with a response?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if you arent familiar with encopresis you totally cannot relate to this post.

if you are *like me*....you know the hell that this is.

OP...my son is 13 and we have been dealing with this since age 3. I go back and forth between feeling furious, trying evreything under the sun, feeling bad for him, feeling guilty...its a total nightmare.

we are seeing a new specialist next month so i am really holding my breath. we too have tried everything under the sun. nothing works.

its so awful.

i take solace ONLY in knowing that everyone i speak to says that it never lasts forever. eventually, the kid outgrows it. you dont hear about 29 year olds with encopresis.

ugh, i know how awful it is!!

When I saw the subject line for this post, I initially bypassed it because I had not heard the word and it did not sound familiar to me. Then, I eventually opened the thread and read about the condition and OP's anguish over trying to help her child through the condition. It made me think of a boy my son's age (12-13) who I think suffers from it. He goes on overnight camping trips with my son and he is always soiling (poop and not pee) his pants and refuses to use the bathroom. It did not dawn on me until I read this post that he probably has encopresis. I am sure his parents are stressed over it like OP. He is a bright child and does well in school but this issue with constantly pooping in his pants makes the other boys, including my son, want to avoid him. I can imagine the social isolation for any child suffering from this condition. I hope OP's child will overcome it and OP and her child can experience some peace and enjoy life again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the repost in SN. This is a common problem for kids on the spectrum. The reason your child can't respond is because they now have megacolon (colon is distended) and probably irritable bowel syndrome and fecalomas so really don't know what is happening in their G.I. system. You need to see a pediatric gastroenterologist right away. Our pediatrician missed this for years even though I was complaining DC was in pain and that there was something wrong. Insist on an x-ray, you will probably see fecalomas lining up one after another inside the large intestine.

+1 best response