Reply to 12 year old with encopresis, I'm at my wits end?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I think people here aren't familiar with the medical problem called encopresis.  Once the problem starts (whatever the original cause of withholding poop) it can become a vicious cycle and "just don't pressure her" isn't going to fix the problem.  You are seeing all the right specialists so I would be very wary of taking advice form people here who don't know what this condition is, what causes it, and how deeply entrenched the behavior can get.

That said, it does sound like on top of the encopresis you are dealing with some very understandable 12 year old desire for autonomy push back.

I would definitely stop asking her to explain why she is doing whatever she is doing.   She says "I don't know" because she DOESN'T know.   This behavior has become normal to her.

I would honestly treat her the same way you treat an anorexic.   Eating and pooping are both supposed to be natural, yet for anorexics the act of eating becomes disordered.   The best treatment for anorexia is a family based approach -- something called Maudlesy I think.  I would look into it and modify it for, well, the reverse.   You need to control what medicines she takes.

I also think you may need to remove her from school until you can be sure she isn't drinking milk (if her doctor has said no milk) and if she is refusing to poop on the toilet before school.   [/quote]

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