Someone tell me a joke - I'm trapped on CT ave, which is closed at van ness.

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[Post New]07/30/2014 22:02
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says ''Sorry we don't serve food in here''


A string walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender points to a sign that says, "No Strings Allowed." So the string goes outside and ties a big double knot at the top to disguise himself and walks back in. He asks if he can get a drink and the bartender says, "Frayed knot."
[Post New]07/30/2014 22:12
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Anonymous
A man is riding his camel through the desert when he sees three other men coming his direction on camels, all holding different objects.

One man is holding a fan--obviously to cool himself in the hot sun. Another man has a large-brimmed hat to shade himself from the heat. The third is carrying--what's that? A car door?

Man 1: Why do you have this car door?
Man 2: Because if I get hot I can roll the window down!
[Post New]07/30/2014 22:15
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says ''Sorry we don't serve food in here''


A string walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender points to a sign that says, "No Strings Allowed." So the string goes outside and ties a big double knot at the top to disguise himself and walks back in. He asks if he can get a drink and the bartender says, "Frayed knot."


I must know you b/c I thought I was the only person who knew that joke.
[Post New]07/30/2014 22:28
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Anonymous
A man and his pet snake walk into a bar for a night of heavy drinking.

They have a few beers, then move on to mixed drinks then have a few shooters. The bartender says "last call" and the man says " one more for me and one more for my pet snake". The bartender sets them up, they shoot them back and suddenly the snake falls over dead.

The man throws some money on the bar and starts to leave. The bartender yells, " hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there" to which the man replies, "That's not a lion, that's a snake".
[Post New]07/30/2014 22:37
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Where does the president keep his armies?





In his sleevies.





So stupid... and yet so funny!
[Post New]07/30/2014 22:50
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Muslima
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What's it like being Muslim? Well, it's hard to find a decent halal pizza place and occasionally there is a hashtag calling for your genocide...
[Post New]07/30/2014 23:23
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Anonymous
This is why I love DCUMs.
[Post New]07/31/2014 00:29
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Anonymous
I was stuck in it too - trying to get from one client to another and then needing to get to another. I thought about ditching the car and taking transit to downtown but my Metro alerts said Metro was skipping the station and the buses were as stuck as I was.

Finally found a work around, had to pay $30 to park in Dupont Circle and was late for my meeting anyway.

From Dr. Gridlock: "Officer Araz Alali, a D.C. police spokesman, said the suspicious package was an envelope."
[Post New]07/31/2014 01:18
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Anonymous
Wow all of these jokes sucked. Not one made me laugh.
[Post New]07/31/2014 04:42
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says ''Sorry we don't serve food in here''


A string walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender points to a sign that says, "No Strings Allowed." So the string goes outside and ties a big double knot at the top to disguise himself and walks back in. He asks if he can get a drink and the bartender says, "Frayed knot."


I must know you b/c I thought I was the only person who knew that joke.


Everyone knows that joke. Though I've always heard it with the rope saying "I'm a frayed knot" not the bartender.
[Post New]07/31/2014 06:43
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Wow all of these jokes sucked. Not one made me laugh.



.....and what was YOUR funny joke?
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