Resentful and annoyed

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[Post New]04/02/2014 10:06
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This was me a few years ago. Not the resentment part but the being shut out time and time again part. I also had a townhouse that was bought long long ago and moving wasn't impossible but would of been very difficult to do. So you know what I did? My kid went to a crappy school for K and 1. Its really not the end of the world. There are good teachers everywhere...even in schools that are failing. I dedicated myself to being an active parent, to volunteer, to get to know my teacher, to not write off the school or act above it, and I was honestly a little sad to leave when we did get into a charter. Yes some DCPS are very "bad" but having spent a lot of time in a "bad" school there is good to be found in any situation. Kindergarden isn't rocket science.

Signed by a Mom who's oldest child learned to read and write in a failing DCPS school.


THANKS! Fortunately my kid already knows how to read and write pretty well so the pressure is off on that front!


OMG OP get over yourself


Huh? I actually though this was very good advice. No sarcasm intended - if you were PP who wrote this I appreciated it. However, it is also a fact that my child can read and write and this does make me feel better because I know there is no way that she will fall behind in kindergarten, at least. Logically I feel comfortable that she will do just fine at almost any school for K. But it's the dwindling options for the longer term that make me really frustrated. And the logical part doesn't stop me from feeling upset that we don't have our dream school (or even a passable one)
[Post New]04/02/2014 10:07
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dcmom
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I don't think the lottery itself is unfair--it seems like the only fair way to divvy out what is a very scarce resource--seats at high-quality public and charter schools. What is upsetting is that we live in a city where demand so outstrips supply. We weren't shut out but would have been if we hadn't applied to our unpopular, extremely low-performing in-boundary school. We will try again, and eventually, if we don't get a seat at a school we feel we can stay at as our toddler gets older, we will move, possibly to the 'burbs if we can't afford to get in-boundary for a good school in DC. My husband and I really, really want to continue living in our neighborhood, but we understand that there are trade-offs. We can't afford private, but we can afford to move, and we will if we have to.

Even though I think the lottery is fair, it sure does stink to be one of the last lottery numbers drawn. Someone has to lose, though.
[Post New]04/02/2014 10:10
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Anonymous
If you won't name your IB school, at least give us your Ward. If you are in Ward 5, Burroughs and Langdon are rising options in Ward 5. Also consider Sela or Bethune as charters nearby.
[Post New]04/02/2014 10:15
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Anonymous
Sela!! Sela will have space.
[Post New]04/02/2014 10:17
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Is anyone else really upset and pissed at the unfairness of the lottery?

This is the third year we've been shut out. We have a poor IB choice. Private school isn't an option. Our child cannot continue where she is. And yet, friends of ours whose plan was to go private until K and then go to their IB JKLM elementary got into one of the top charter schools.

Sure, I was happy for them at first, but it starts to grate when you hear the gloating and the bragging and you know that they had other options that were fantastic and you have none and were shut out AGAIN.


You can move!
[Post New]04/02/2014 10:21
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Anonymous
Don't lose sight of the long game. If you finally lottery into an acceptable school in K or First, you then have to start thinking about middle school. You should hope and pray yoir new school is IB for Deal, Hardy or Stuart-Hobson, or that there are more charter options than Latin and Basis.
[Post New]04/02/2014 10:23
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Anonymous
Let me know when you get to the "unfair" part.
[Post New]04/02/2014 10:27
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Anonymous
Also, you can change jobs or careers to earn more money if you want/ need to. A lot of people do that even in mid 30s, there are tradeoffs to everything, and expecting a lottery to solve your educational needs is a little shortsighted, especially after round 3.
[Post New]04/02/2014 10:32
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:No, I can't move. My housing costs are $1200 a month for a family of 4. Tell me where in the city I could get somewhere to live for that price and a good school? I have lived here since long before I had children so it was not a consideration when I saw single.

People who throw around "can't you move" have no understanding of the reality of normal people who don't have incomes into six figures.


OP, there are affordable set aside apartments in buildings in desirable neighborhoods. You have to do your research to find which ones have available units. My niece, who is working and in grad school, got one on Connecticut Ave. near Murch and Deal. She doesn't have kids so school is irrelevant to her now. So, yes, you can actually move if you research and plan. You need to change the negative thinking and get past your frustration.
[Post New]04/02/2014 10:35
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Also, you can change jobs or careers to earn more money if you want/ need to. A lot of people do that even in mid 30s, there are tradeoffs to everything, and expecting a lottery to solve your educational needs is a little shortsighted, especially after round 3.


Sure, seeing as you know so much -please tell me what career I can change to. We are not in our mid 30s, if that helps.
[Post New]04/02/2014 10:38
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No, I can't move. My housing costs are $1200 a month for a family of 4. Tell me where in the city I could get somewhere to live for that price and a good school? I have lived here since long before I had children so it was not a consideration when I saw single.

People who throw around "can't you move" have no understanding of the reality of normal people who don't have incomes into six figures.


OP, there are affordable set aside apartments in buildings in desirable neighborhoods. You have to do your research to find which ones have available units. My niece, who is working and in grad school, got one on Connecticut Ave. near Murch and Deal. She doesn't have kids so school is irrelevant to her now. So, yes, you can actually move if you research and plan. You need to change the negative thinking and get past your frustration.


Thanks. I really can't reiterate more that moving is NOT an option. There are other considerations that I don't wan to go to here but it simply will not work. Even if it was a possibility I doubt my marriage would do well in a one bed apartment for the four of us and my kids having both parents happy and together is more important than the school they go to.
[Post New]04/02/2014 10:47
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Also, you can change jobs or careers to earn more money if you want/ need to. A lot of people do that even in mid 30s, there are tradeoffs to everything, and expecting a lottery to solve your educational needs is a little shortsighted, especially after round 3.


This.....this is hysterical.
[Post New]04/02/2014 10:49
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Anonymous
I love that people's advice is to move and change jobs. What planet are people on?
[Post New]04/02/2014 10:54
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No, I can't move. My housing costs are $1200 a month for a family of 4. Tell me where in the city I could get somewhere to live for that price and a good school? I have lived here since long before I had children so it was not a consideration when I saw single.

People who throw around "can't you move" have no understanding of the reality of normal people who don't have incomes into six figures.


OP, there are affordable set aside apartments in buildings in desirable neighborhoods. You have to do your research to find which ones have available units. My niece, who is working and in grad school, got one on Connecticut Ave. near Murch and Deal. She doesn't have kids so school is irrelevant to her now. So, yes, you can actually move if you research and plan. You need to change the negative thinking and get past your frustration.


Thanks. I really can't reiterate more that moving is NOT an option. There are other considerations that I don't wan to go to here but it simply will not work. Even if it was a possibility I doubt my marriage would do well in a one bed apartment for the four of us and my kids having both parents happy and together is more important than the school they go to.


OP, I'm the poster way, way up thread who commiserated at the options for families in DC. I was not suggesting that you move. I haven't moved. I pay an ungodly amount of rent to live in the area that works best for our family. The only ways that it doesn't work is that the IB school isn't stellar and the housing costs are high. I am not moving because school is not the only thing I care about. There are other areas of our lives that are also important.

I will say that you do sound very resentful and annoyed. Your friends have every right to make their own deliberations about what works best for their family. Everyone absolutely loves Mundo Verde (on this board and every playground conversation I've had that involves school), but if we got in, we would have to really think about how that would actually work for our family. The commute would be bad news for us and I'm not sure that Spanish immersion is so important to me that I would want to completely wreck the rest of our routine to facilitate it. If you have family reasons that moving to Silver Spring isn't an option, please allow that your friend probably has reasons that keeping her kid in private preschool might be better for their family.

You came here to bitch, and I get that and it's valid. People are going to try to give you solutions to your problem. Those solutions are predictable (move, IB, less desirable OOB schools). There are schools that will move through significant parts of their waitlists, and whether people want to admit it or not, it's also possible to get off the waitlist when it's not your turn yet by calling at the right time. This almost happened to us last year at Bancroft, and I know that we were far enough down the list that we should not have been even pre-offered a spot. Either way, quit being defensive when people suggest things that are obvious. You have a right to be annoyed that you're not as lucky as your friends. Your friends have a right to do their own math regarding their school choice. If you don't want to talk to them about it, you can just avoid them. They'll probably figure out why pretty fast and in a few months, none of this will be as present in your mind anyway.
[Post New]04/02/2014 10:55
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I love that people's advice is to move and change jobs. What planet are people on?


Totally agree. Playing the megamillions, marrying rich, homeschooling, not having kids or founding your own charter school are just as useful suggestions.
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