Resentful and annoyed

[Anonymous]

Is anyone else really upset and pissed at the unfairness of the lottery?

This is the third year we've been shut out. We have a poor IB choice. Private school isn't an option. Our child cannot continue where she is. And yet, friends of ours whose plan was to go private until K and then go to their IB JKLM elementary got into one of the top charter schools.

Sure, I was happy for them at first, but it starts to grate when you hear the gloating and the bragging and you know that they had other options that were fantastic and you have none and were shut out AGAIN.

[Anonymous]

Why did you choose to live in a place that does not have a school that is an option for your child?

Is there absolutely no where else in the city that you can afford? I know families w 3 kids in a 2 bedroom apt so that they can be in a good IB school.

I know a familiy in a 1 bedroom apt.

How important is your child's education?

[Anonymous]

Is there a reason you can't move? Many people decide where to live based in school districts.

[Anonymous]

OP - I felt a little bit of resentment, but this is my first year and not my third year of getting shut out. I can imagine how stressed you are. I would definitely keep trying. You do hear of kids getting in at K, although I do recognize that it is more of a challenge.

[Anonymous]

No, I can't move. My housing costs are $1200 a month for a family of 4. Tell me where in the city I could get somewhere to live for that price and a good school? I have lived here since long before I had children so it was not a consideration when I saw single.

People who throw around "can't you move" have no understanding of the reality of normal people who don't have incomes into six figures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I felt a little bit of resentment, but this is my first year and not my third year of getting shut out. I can imagine how stressed you are. I would definitely keep trying. You do hear of kids getting in at K, although I do recognize that it is more of a challenge.

Thanks. The problem is most people are set in schools they love by K. If you're shut out at PS3 and PK4 it becomes much harder. I'm crossing my fingers because we do have a half decent number on one waitlist at a school that we'd love but I'm not sure how much movement we can expect this year, if any.

[Anonymous]

OP sorry you feel this way. We lucked out and I've been keeping my mouth shut to friends about our good fortune. No one wants their friends to feel bad (even if they are happy for you).

I understand it's frustrating. Most folks will provide advice on how you can just "deal with it." I'm not sure you're ready to hear that right now.

Big hugs. You'll work it out (or it will work out on it's own). Take comfort in that although maybe few - you still have options. You also have a lot to be thankful for. And again, more hugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I felt a little bit of resentment, but this is my first year and not my third year of getting shut out. I can imagine how stressed you are. I would definitely keep trying. You do hear of kids getting in at K, although I do recognize that it is more of a challenge.

Thanks. The problem is most people are set in schools they love by K. If you're shut out at PS3 and PK4 it becomes much harder. I'm crossing my fingers because we do have a half decent number on one waitlist at a school that we'd love but I'm not sure how much movement we can expect this year, if any.

I totally hear you OP. But I have heard of some folks getting in at K and higher. It's not completely impossible. What is the WL number you have, just out of curiosity?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is anyone else really upset and pissed at the unfairness of the lottery?

This is the third year we've been shut out. We have a poor IB choice. Private school isn't an option. Our child cannot continue where she is. And yet, friends of ours whose plan was to go private until K and then go to their IB JKLM elementary got into one of the top charter schools.

Sure, I was happy for them at first, but it starts to grate when you hear the gloating and the bragging and you know that they had other options that were fantastic and you have none and were shut out AGAIN.

I totally understand! As days go on, I am slowly finding out where our friends have gotten in. Most of them I know for a fact did not do much research, did not go to any open houses and some have missed the lottery deadline. One of them got matched at their #2 choice and waitlististed for their #1 choice at WL #20! (we have the same #1 choice and got 293!!). While us who spent a lot of time doing researchh, went to open hourses, looked at school numbers, etc etc, got shut out!! It makes me mad . Perhaps if I did not do any research at all and did not make any intelligent choice, I would've gotten in somewhere!

[Anonymous]

OP - I feel your pain but want to ask: did you apply for any charters that were outside the top 10 most applied to or any DCPS east of RockCreek Park/not on the Hill?

[Anonymous]

OP, I felt that way last year, when a good friend of mine got into two of the most popular charter schools, and 2 DCPS that are also good. I was very resentful of her family's good fortune and sad because we were not similarly fortunate.

The reality is that with housing costs like that, your options are stay where you are or move to the suburbs. Many, many people in the city face similar options. My housing costs are almost TWICE what yours are (we rent) and I am grateful to be matched at a so-so elementary school nearby.

The thing you have to keep in mind is that your friends are not gloating and bragging to make you feel crappy. Imagine how happy YOU would be, given your situation, if you got that kind of windfall. It would likely be the same situation in reverse. Be happy for your friends, that they have so many options, and then figure out what the best option is for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I can't move. My housing costs are $1200 a month for a family of 4. Tell me where in the city I could get somewhere to live for that price and a good school? I have lived here since long before I had children so it was not a consideration when I saw single.

People who throw around "can't you move" have no understanding of the reality of normal people who don't have incomes into six figures.

If you have lived there for so long then WHY did you have multiple kids when you didn't have a viable school option the entire time?
Most of us made the housing decisions years ago based on the knowledge that we would have kids someday. We scrimped and saved and bought in areas we didn't want to live in based on our future school needs. AND we only had one child. we didn't have a second because we couldn't afford to.
I kind of feel like you made your bed and now you want to complain about it.

[Anonymous]

Here is a 2 BR IB for Eaton:
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/apa/4403418499.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is anyone else really upset and pissed at the unfairness of the lottery?

This is the third year we've been shut out. We have a poor IB choice. Private school isn't an option. Our child cannot continue where she is. And yet, friends of ours whose plan was to go private until K and then go to their IB JKLM elementary got into one of the top charter schools.

Sure, I was happy for them at first, but it starts to grate when you hear the gloating and the bragging and you know that they had other options that were fantastic and you have none and were shut out AGAIN.

I totally understand! As days go on, I am slowly finding out where our friends have gotten in. Most of them I know for a fact did not do much research, did not go to any open houses and some have missed the lottery deadline. One of them got matched at their #2 choice and waitlististed for their #1 choice at WL #20! (we have the same #1 choice and got 293!!). While us who spent a lot of time doing researchh, went to open hourses, looked at school numbers, etc etc, got shut out!! It makes me mad . Perhaps if I did not do any research at all and did not make any intelligent choice, I would've gotten in somewhere!

Yes, magical thinking is what makes you win the lottery.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe your friend is gloating. Doesn't sound like a very good friend. I would be annoyed, too.

Maybe vent for a while, and then channel your energy into seeking alternatives. Good luck.

Also, no idea what your IB is, but is it really that bad for K while you look for something else?