is it bad to?
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maril332
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| leave baby alone in darkened bedroom to sleep. I guess what we are doing counts as CIO but 10 mo wakes in the middle of the night, and after 2 wks of getting up to feed her i came to the realization that she isnt hungry. just bored with being in her crib. so for the past 3 nights, we have just left her in her room after she is fed and changed for the night. the lights are off and the door is shut. also I shut our bedroom door and we dont use a baby monitor. in the morning at abt 6:30 we go to get her and she is still asleep. has anyone else done this? |
Anonymous
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I have never done this or known anyone who has done this, but it is a sleep training method called "extinction".
They (book authors) say it works. But most people I know aren't comfortable doing it. There are stories about kids getting so upset and crying so hard they vomit and such. Then you have the risk of aspiration at worst, and at best your child is lying in a crib full of vomit. I wouldn't do it unless you are sure you could hear her crying if something was really wrong. Like not just complaining crying, but distress crying. |
Anonymous
| It seems like a good idea to be able to hear your baby, even if you don't plan to go in the room. If you don't use a monitor, I would at least leave the doors open. |
Anonymous
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OMG what if she gets sick from the crying and throws up? You're crazy!
Nobody likes to hear a baby crying but your job is to make sure she's safe. She can't communicate so she cries. You're heartless. I'm not against CIO but this is just mean. |
Anonymous
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I think this (the OP's scenario) is exactly what anti-CIO people think of when anyone says CIO. Nevermind that Ferber and most other methods don't come remotely close to this extreme.
The only way I think this isn't awful is if you can hear the baby through both doors, and she isn't crying so there's no need to go to her. If you're shutting doors so you don't have to hear her, well... that's just crap. Poor kid. |
Anonymous
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How old is your kid OP?
Honestly I agree with PPs - you need to make sure you can hear her. Either you share a wall/hallway and you or DH are a light sleeper (I am), OR you use a baby monitor. No way would I feel comfortable sticking my baby in a crib all alone in a dark room. What if she is sick? In pain? Actually hungry because of a growth spurt? Unless your kid is over a year old, no way would I do this. |
Anonymous
| There is not way I would do this. If you can't hear her crying then leave the door open or get a monitor. You don't have to go in unless you can tell its a true distress call. If you can't handle her crying CIO is not for you. |
Anonymous
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Your baby is completely helpless and depends on you for her survival. Can you imagine how terrifying it must be to cry out and have no one answer for hours? Or to fall asleep feeling like no one will ever come comfort you?
Crying it out is one thing. Closing a baby in a dark room and trying to forget she is in there is neglect. |
Anonymous
| Did the OP say she was ignoring the baby crying? If she did, I missed that. We don't co-sleep, so our DD goes into the nursery, in her crib, by herself at night (and it is dark, but there is a nightlight). Why is this neglectful? |
Anonymous
21:25 here. On its own, of course it isn't. We do the exact same thing -- and his door is closed. But she made a point to say that she closes both the baby's door and her own and doesn't use a monitor. Perhaps, as in our house, you can clearly hear -- but then why not say that? It's hardly unusual to put a child down for the night and not respond when the child doesn't cry. Perhaps the OP will clarify. |
Anonymous
I think most people agreed that it is ok to have the baby cry and to leave the child in the crib to allow them to fall back asleep on their own. What EVERYONE does not agree with is closing the child's door as well as the parents door. In case of an actual emergency, she may not hear the child crying. I worry that the child, at that age, may fall out of the crib and how would you really know with the doors closed? Also, my child vomits when upset, so how would I know that she did not vomit in her crib? OP, get a baby monitor and turn it on a low setting if you do not want to hear the child crying. Keep the doors open. Put a night light in the room. When a child wakes up in the middle of the night, and not be able to see anything, that is pretty scary. You imagine waking in the middle of the night and not being able to see a darn thing. It is scary. |
Anonymous
| I would use a monitor and NOT close the door. You want to make sure baby is fed and no dirty diaper. It is fine for her to just play in the crib. Put a few soft books and toys in the crib and let her play. Our child played for a little bit in his crib and then goes to bed. |
Anonymous
She said she closes both doors, hers and the nursery's and has no monitor. What does this mean? |
Anonymous
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We did what you did OP. Put the baby to bed and closed the door. we didn't have a monitor either. If the baby started screaming it would wake me up. Dark isn't scary for a baby, unless you teach them to be afraid of the dark. They were in a womb for 9 months...without a nightlight!
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Anonymous
Without a light, but with the sounds, tastes, touch and movement of you. Alone in a dark room in the middle of the night is alone. It's scary and lonely. Honestly, this makes me cry. |