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Hate my job but don't want to SAH
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Anonymous
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OP - I am in the exact same boat and a similar field. I wonder if we're at the same agency, (although it sounds like you're a contractor). I recently posted about my dilemma to continue working or quit.
Here's what I've decided to do, if it helps. Since I am miserable in my job, I really cannot stay. Regardless of pay and ease of work, you can't sit around unhappy all day. Too much of your life is at the office to hate it, and life doesn't revolve around money. I understand the desire to work and be happy, not just to bring home a paycheck (yes, I know that is a fortunate place to be). Anyhow, I have started networking like crazy, signing up with lots of various headhunter firms and searching on my own for jobs that look interesting. I have also decided to talk to my current and former boss about possibilities and connections elsewhere. My boss is a political appointee and will be leaving soon anyways, so he wont' see it as abandonment. I will not talk to my immediate supervisor, as she is one of the problems (reorgs, just like you...) I have also decided I am so miserable that I have set a date by which I will leave, regardless of whether or not I have found something (gave myself 2 months, have not informed office yet). If I don't have a job, I will keep my nanny while I look, but also enjoy being home for some quality spring and summer time with the kids. If for some reason I cannot find anything at all after a few months at home, I will have to let our nanny go  That's one of the saddest things to me, as she is wonderful.
However, I also believe that some things happen for a reason. Once I"m home, who knows who I'll meet or what opportunities will arise. I'm confident that things tend to work out for the best. One year from now, I'm sure you'll be somewhere else and happier. The change is scary, but somehow we end up better in the end. Good luck to you!! |
Anonymous
I hear you... I have a PhD, make peanuts, and find myself lying in bed and wondering if 31 is too late to go to law school! |
Anonymous
Many of us lawyers lie in bed and wish we'd gotten PhDs and found our jobs more fulfilling...seriously. And I think the person who said they worked part time for a 6 figure salary has a really good and unusual gig. I know lots of "part time" lawyers who work at big firms for 6 figures. None of them truly work part time. They all work 40 hour weeks and have an unpredictable schedule. 40 hours doesn't mean 9-5...it can mean working weekends or very late to meet a client's needs. |
Anonymous
| To steal a line from "Friends" - are your diamond shoes too tight too? Boo hoo. I don't really have a lot of sympathy. You just seem kind of spoiled. |
Meconbear
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Man, sour grapes PP! I think it's really sad when anyone feels like they have to stick with a job they hate since you spend so much of your life at work! A high-paying job is one thing, but feeling good about what you do is another. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side...
As for me, I'd start looking for another job but Im pregnant with #2. I figure I'll stick it out until I come back from maternity leave, work for a decent amount of months, and start the networking/headhunting stuff. Who knows, by summer of next year, there will be lots of jobs opening up b/c of changes in administration! |
Anonymous
| Funny that you say your not a SAH kind of person......A SAH kind of person is a "mom." You want sympathy when you're basically saying you can't bring yourself to raise your kids. Sad. You'll never get this time back and no one will care for your children like you would. |
Anonymous
| Puh-leese. Sanctimommy alert! |
Anonymous
| Yes, but at least I'm a mommy... |
Anonymous
Right, because working moms aren't. Are you a "mom" if you have no choice and MUST work to financially support your family? Or does your criticism only apply if you choose to work? |
Anonymous
| Start looking for a job now. Don't quit until you find one that you think will make you happy. While you look, you get paid, keep your bennies, etc. You might find that yyour job isn't so bad after all.... |
Anonymous
| How about also looking for fulfilling volunteer opportunitites to get some more professional satisfaction injected in your life. Tackle the job search as others have suggested but doing some service will also expand your network. Good luck. |
Anonymous
Like I'm not? You're input is invaluable. AND disruptive. |
Anonymous
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I meant to type "your"-
Not everyone is the same. There are some of us who are better mothers because we work-we need to have something for ourselves. It's not being selfish-it's knowing oneself. If I were home all day, I'd be screaming at my child because I would be going NUTS. I spend a good 6 hours a day with my son, all quality time-and feel damn good about it. |
Anonymous
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I'm a working mom as well. I have no choice, financially. I hate my job. I would quit immediately if we didn't need my income.
I have to say, I won't go all sanctimommy on you, but if you can financially, I'm surprised that you wouldn't leave a bad situation to stay home with your kids. What you're saying is: "I'd rather be miserable at an office than at home with my kids" I do think it sounds selfish and you're definitely able to afford the luxury of staying home - why not do it? I really don't get it |
Anonymous
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Agree with the PP...it does seem strange that you would view a job you hate as BETTER than being with your kids. It's not like you can't go back to work after being home if you find a better job later on.
As a FT working mom, I often find that we as society way overrate working, and undervalue to a huge degree taking care of our kids. If I had the choice, I also would quit working in a heartbeat. I find it tough to spend only two hours a weekday with my child, which is all that I typically ever have during the week working 9-6...would feel blessed if I had 6 hours like 14:40, who must have some sort of a part-time job or something non-standard. Wish I had that. |