Hate my job but don't want to SAH

[Anonymous]

Oh c'mon gals, give OP and the subsequent poster in a similar situation a break. It's not that being in a job you hate is better than being with your kid, it's a wish to be in a job (PT I take it) that you love and being with your kid. I totally get the need to have some adult time to yourself to be a better mom.

I work PT and I find that I can handle better the days when he's on the floor kicking and screaming b/c he doesn't want to put on his clothes and we're late for the doctor/plans/etc. b/c I do have a little seperation from him. That's just me and my choice though. I feel bad for people who really want to stay at home full time, but I do have a lot of sympathy for folks who want to work outsdie the home in some way but hate their present jobs (speaking from one who only lasted 1 year at a major firm before I thought my husband would have to commit me). We don't know what other people's lives are like, but I presume we're here to support each other.

There, kumbaya.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the PP...it does seem strange that you would view a job you hate as BETTER than being with your kids. It's not like you can't go back to work after being home if you find a better job later on.

As a FT working mom, I often find that we as society way overrate working, and undervalue to a huge degree taking care of our kids. If I had the choice, I also would quit working in a heartbeat. I find it tough to spend only two hours a weekday with my child, which is all that I typically ever have during the week working 9-6...would feel blessed if I had 6 hours like 14:40, who must have some sort of a part-time job or something non-standard. Wish I had that.

I manage a database for a homeland security program. I fought for my schedule, 8:30-2pm, took a pay cut, and convinced my employers that I could do my job in less hours. I did it so well that they laid off my counterpart in NJ and I took over those responsibilities I still have 100% paid benefits, accrue vacation, and have unlimited sick time, which I never take. I do work sometimes after my son is in bed-I carry my laptop everywhere I go. But I am able to give my son a full 6 hours a day of my undivided attention. He has a nanny for 6 hours a day. I missed the income at first, but we're used to it now. I also sometimes go in very early-6am-so I can leave by noon. I believe that more and more companies are realizing that they get much more out of their employees if they offer a more flexible work week, I'm definitely more dedicated and loyal, never dread going to work, and have a good attitude. I'm now pushing to telecommute more often...I'm getting there slowly It's all in the approach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh c'mon gals, give OP and the subsequent poster in a similar situation a break. It's not that being in a job you hate is better than being with your kid, it's a wish to be in a job (PT I take it) that you love and being with your kid. I totally get the need to have some adult time to yourself to be a better mom.

I work PT and I find that I can handle better the days when he's on the floor kicking and screaming b/c he doesn't want to put on his clothes and we're late for the doctor/plans/etc. b/c I do have a little seperation from him. That's just me and my choice though. I feel bad for people who really want to stay at home full time, but I do have a lot of sympathy for folks who want to work outsdie the home in some way but hate their present jobs (speaking from one who only lasted 1 year at a major firm before I thought my husband would have to commit me). We don't know what other people's lives are like, but I presume we're here to support each other.

There, kumbaya.

I also feel I'm more relaxed around my son because I do the leave the house for half a day (14:40 here again). I cherish my time with him-not sure if I would feel like that if I spent all day at home. I'm in awe of mothers who stay at home and love it.

[Anonymous]

Interesting discussion....I'm also in a job that is frustrating but am trying to bide my time until I'm ready to leave. My kid has been having major problems with depression and anxiety over the last 2 years and I don't want a lot of pressure at work so I can be sure I'm emotionally and physically present and paying attention to her.

Pros of this job: Great co-workers, extremely family friendly, little travel, good pay, my position funded 100% for 4 more years, my supervisor is a good friend. Cons: My supervisor is also a control freak. The last time I had this little autonomy, I was in graduate school. Supervisor drives me crazy but has also been a strong ally for me on the team and I'm grateful for that. And while I have less pressure than my co-workers to find billable projects, they get to do all the exciting things and they work on proposals. Very strange to feel like an administrative assistant with a PhD. Hard on my ego.

I'm trying to use my extra time to work on my own professional development -- get an article published on the side; revisit technical issues I haven't studied in a long time -- or personal development -- getting back into writing. And to keep remembering that this is only for a few years until I'm sure about my kid and she's off to college.

It's hard though. I'm never sure I'm making the right choice. My heart goes out to you OP! I hope it works out for you!