I am a legally married gay mother of 2. Ask me anything
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Anonymous
| Are your periods in-sync? If so, is it pure hell during PMS time? |
Anonymous
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What were your opinions on the lesbian (bisexual?) Sex and the City star who made the comments on being gay is a choice? How did your wife and fellow gay friends feel?
Even straight people felt it was a horrible thing to say, so I imagine it was horrible for the LGBT community. Who are the people within the LGBT community that feel this way? Do they tend to be bisexual? |
Anonymous
| For a variety of reasons, I suspect my brother is gay. He's in his 30's now but I have kind of always believed this, he was about 9 the first time I remember wondering, but thought he would have come out by now. I honestly do not care if he is or isn't, I love him either way, I just want him to be happy. He seems more secretive and withdrawn the last few years, just not at all like himself. He just seems like something is weighing him down and in my mind I keep coming back to this. Our extended family is pretty homophobic and has shunned other gay family members and makes really inappropriate comments about them when they are not around, so I do wonder if he is afraid or perhaps has just chosen to keep this part of his life private. I have not brought this up with him for nearly 25 years so could certainly go another 25 without raising it -- but I wonder if perhaps I should? Maybe there is a way to "invite" or make it feel safe for him to come out? Or a way to say, if you are gay, it's okay and I love you. appreciate any thoughts you may have! |
Anonymous
| All I can say is "you go girl"! You shouldn't have to answer questions from idiots. From my admittedly limited experience everyone has gay people in their family. I'm sorry gay people have to fight for equal rights. I'm a hetero mother of 2 with openly gay family members on one side and not in the open gay members on the other. I love them all and only wish them secure and happy relationships with whomever they love. |
Anonymous
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The title of your post saddened me, OP. I wish we were at a point where you could just write "married gay mother" instead of having to point out that you're a "legally married gay mother."
Can you imagine heteros feeling they have to announce that they're "legally married"? signed angry hetero mom |
Anonymous
Thanks! |
NotSoAnonymous
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Q: Sorry if this was asked and I missed it, but how old were you when you "knew" and how old when you came out?
A: I knew as a young teen and was terrified. I prayed every night for it to not be true. I was certain that I would lose my family over this. I came out to my family my freshman year of college. They were wonderful. I wish I had known they would be wonderful- would have literally changed my life. |
NotSoAnonymous
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Q: Have you ever had a boyfriend? How old were you when you had a girlfriend?
A: I had boyfriends in high school. I had my first girlfriend at 18. |
NotSoAnonymous
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I work at a Christian preschool and I have met a few gay couples when on playground with my son. As soon as I mention that I work at a christian school I get then sense that they are pulling back. I am not sure how to respond to this. Also as a side note my mom came out a few years ago but I was not raised my gay parents (they got divorced when I was 17). I guess my question is "what's the best way to say I'm Christian but not homophobic?".
A: I fully admit this is one of my personal faults. One of my now dear friends wears a cross necklace. When we met (in a work setting) I was careful to not talk about personal things. Eventually we got to know one another an things were fine. I need to give people the benefit of the doubt, but have been hurt before (oh the dramatics!) Easiest way to signal all is well is to say something nice like "oh what does your partner think about Bobby's haircut or My husband and I are going to Boston this weekend- where do you and Linda like to go?". In my experience people who are unfortable pretend the rest of my family doesn't exist. |
Anonymous
Not a question, but I tend to agree with you on this point. The people I know who are gay also have gay family members. My cousin is gay and everyone in our family knows his brother is too, though he's not out. And I agree with pp, you do seem like a lovely person 
My question for you is, have you or will you seek out schools for your children that have other gay parents as well? Are you concerned about teasing/bullying related to your sexuality and how do you handle or intend to handle this issue? |
NotSoAnonymous
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Q: Are your periods in-sync? If so, is it pure hell during PMS time?
A: That has happened in previous relationships for sure. It is hell but also convieninet in other ways if you understand my meaning. |
NotSoAnonymous
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Q: What were your opinions on the lesbian (bisexual?) Sex and the City star who made the comments on being gay is a choice? How did your wife and fellow gay friends feel?
Even straight people felt it was a horrible thing to say, so I imagine it was horrible for the LGBT community. Who are the people within the LGBT community that feel this way? Do they tend to be bisexual? A: Good question. The thing is, I think, so what if it IS a choice for some people? Do they then forfeit their rights? It caused such an uproar because it is not the experience of a lot of glbt people- to feel that we chose. We also live in a world where children are sent to "reprogramming" camps, where men and women of faith go to counseling for years to try to live against for what many of them is innate. These are things happening now, not some distant past. GLBT kids are killing themselves... It's just- it probably is something some people can choose, but it isn't for everyone and it is literally killing some of them. |
NotSoAnonymous
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Q: Maybe there is a way to "invite" or make it feel safe for him to come out? Or a way to say, if you are gay, it's okay and I love you. appreciate any thoughts you may have!
A: Wow. That's a tough one. He could be struggling with a lot of things- that may or may not have anything to do with his sexuality. I'd just say Alex, I've noticed you seem withdrawn and sad a lot. You are my brother and I love you so much, I hope you know there's nothing you could say or do that would change that. Is there anything i can do to help, I am a good listener..." Just open the door and hope he walks through. Call out homophobic family members if they make comments. It sucks to hear people you love do that. |
Anonymous
No. This was ten years ago when people still had a sense of humor. |
NotSoAnonymous
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Q: My question for you is, have you or will you seek out schools for your children that have other gay parents as well? Are you concerned about teasing/bullying related to your sexuality and how do you handle or intend to handle this issue?
A: We haven't yet. Honestly- we don't earn enough to send the kids to private. They're twins. We live in Fairfax Co and have good public schools. We'd like to someday move to Arlington. My biggest fear is that my kids are bullied for something they have no control over. I hope we are raising strong, confident kids who could stand up to that. It is the thing that brings out my mama bear instinct above all else. I do intend to meet with principals and teachers beforehand to answer questions and open communication. I don't mind being the only, or the first, but I will likely be neither. |