Mom argument who was right?

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[Post New]04/19/2011 14:02
Anonymous
Ask in a loud voice "Is there something wrong with Phennington"?
[Post New]04/19/2011 14:03
Anonymous
They were both wrong. Mom A should have stopped her kid. Mom B should have sternly told the kid, "no hitting", taken him back to Mom A and explained that the kid was hitting.
[Post New]04/19/2011 14:19
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:If my child is being hit, why not teach them to hit back. You're not always there. Sometimes they are in daycare, or will be in preschool eventually. What is wrong with learning to defend yourself. Today it's just an innocent hit of a 23 month old that doesn't know any better, but years down the road it'll be a bully. We have to teach our kids to stand up for themselves. I've told my daughter that we NEVER hit first, but if someone hits you after you've asked them to stop then it's okay to defend yourself. Yes 23-24 months is young and they really don't know any better, but really people come on. Nothing wrong with self-defense.

I completely disagree. At 2 they cannot understand the difference between baby brother hitting them and classmate hitting them. I know. My pre-schooler's teacher had an issue with one child hitting all the other children all the time. The child was corrected and corrected, but to no avail. So she told the children to hit him back. Fast forward a few hours, and my 13 month old hits my pre-schooler with a block. What does he do? Hits him back. And of course I tell him its wrong. His response: "Teacher said it was ok to hit back". So now I have to undo the lesson.
Yes, I believe that kids need to learn to stand up for themselves. But not this early. They cannot distinguish different circumstances at this age.

But back to the original question... the OP wrote that the Mom A did not apologize to the other moms. My question back is - did she have her child apologize? I don't apologize to the other parents when my son misbehaves, but I have him apologize to whomever he hit or took a toy from.

Overall, both mom's were immature with the way they dealt with it. But two wrongs do not equal a right. Mom B should have gone up to Mom A and ask for her to step in with her son in order to stop his hitting.
[Post New]04/19/2011 14:22
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:If my child is being hit, why not teach them to hit back. You're not always there. Sometimes they are in daycare, or will be in preschool eventually. What is wrong with learning to defend yourself. Today it's just an innocent hit of a 23 month old that doesn't know any better, but years down the road it'll be a bully. We have to teach our kids to stand up for themselves. I've told my daughter that we NEVER hit first, but if someone hits you after you've asked them to stop then it's okay to defend yourself. Yes 23-24 months is young and they really don't know any better, but really people come on. Nothing wrong with self-defense.


Given my three-year-old's tenuous grasp on reality (we regularly have to chase the dragons out of her room before she can go to sleep), I can just hear the conversation now.
"13:57's kid hit me."
"Did you tell her to stop?"
"Yes. She hit me."
"Then what?"
"I hit her back, because she hit me first and it was sewf-defent."
"Ok, did she REALLY hit you, or is this a pretend story?"
"Is pretend. Can I watch Nemo?"

You, 13:57, really need to learn a little something about child development. There is no way a two- or even three-year-old is going to grasp the concept of limited self-defense. I'd say five would be precocious for the concept. Yet here you are, letting your child believe that there IS a good reason for hitting. Be ashamed. Be very ashamed, and please don't take her out in public. The rest of us don't want to deal with your bad parenting.
[Post New]04/19/2011 14:32
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If my child is being hit, why not teach them to hit back. You're not always there. Sometimes they are in daycare, or will be in preschool eventually. What is wrong with learning to defend yourself. Today it's just an innocent hit of a 23 month old that doesn't know any better, but years down the road it'll be a bully. We have to teach our kids to stand up for themselves. I've told my daughter that we NEVER hit first, but if someone hits you after you've asked them to stop then it's okay to defend yourself. Yes 23-24 months is young and they really don't know any better, but really people come on. Nothing wrong with self-defense.


Given my three-year-old's tenuous grasp on reality (we regularly have to chase the dragons out of her room before she can go to sleep), I can just hear the conversation now.
"13:57's kid hit me."
"Did you tell her to stop?"
"Yes. She hit me."
"Then what?"
"I hit her back, because she hit me first and it was sewf-defent."
"Ok, did she REALLY hit you, or is this a pretend story?"
"Is pretend. Can I watch Nemo?"

You, 13:57, really need to learn a little something about child development. There is no way a two- or even three-year-old is going to grasp the concept of limited self-defense. I'd say five would be precocious for the concept. Yet here you are, letting your child believe that there IS a good reason for hitting. Be ashamed. Be very ashamed, and please don't take her out in public. The rest of us don't want to deal with your bad parenting.


I agree here. Teaching self-defense comes later. A 2-year old is not old enough to understand the distinction and will only learn that sometimes hitting is ok.
[Post New]04/19/2011 14:46
Anonymous
Child A should have been removed by his mom, his mom should have apologized to the group and tried again next week. Child B's mom should be embarrassed and realize that hitting is not appropriate.

And my advice to you: find a new group! The playtime is supposed to be about playing and learning for the kids...not mama-drama. Sure, kids will hit, it's a learning process but I wouldn't PAY to be around such aggressive and insecure parents.
[Post New]04/19/2011 14:59
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think telling you child to hit back is insane. I think not stopping your child from hitting is insane. No winners here, they're both wrong.

Just move your child away from the situation and enjoy your class.


This.


I agree. Protect your kid but don't teach them to hit.
[Post New]04/19/2011 15:16
Anonymous
The teacher should have come in and taken control of the class. She should have hit both kids and their moms on the head with the tambourine.
[Post New]04/19/2011 15:23
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:The teacher should have come in and taken control of the class. She should have hit both kids and their moms on the head with the tambourine.


Where can I sign up to become a teacher?
[Post New]04/19/2011 15:23
Anonymous
I want a bumper sticker that says "My honor student beat up your misfit".......self defense people.....self-defense.
[Post New]04/19/2011 15:25
cuzimawesome
Member Offline
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The teacher should have come in and taken control of the class. She should have hit both kids and their moms on the head with the tambourine.


Where can I sign up to become a teacher?


Ha! That would be awesome.
[Post New]04/19/2011 15:45
Anonymous
Agree that neither Mom was right. Mom B should speak with the teacher about restricting child A's attendance until he is better behaved.
[Post New]04/19/2011 16:08
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:If my child is being hit, why not teach them to hit back. You're not always there. Sometimes they are in daycare, or will be in preschool eventually. What is wrong with learning to defend yourself. Today it's just an innocent hit of a 23 month old that doesn't know any better, but years down the road it'll be a bully. We have to teach our kids to stand up for themselves. I've told my daughter that we NEVER hit first, but if someone hits you after you've asked them to stop then it's okay to defend yourself. Yes 23-24 months is young and they really don't know any better, but really people come on. Nothing wrong with self-defense.


I'm not really sure I follow this logic, sounds like you are teaching your child to be a bully... don't hit me or I'll hit you. You ask the question, why not teach them to hit back? The simple answer is your child is responsible for his/her actions no matter what happens first, so be aware that if your child hits in school, he/she could well have the same consequences as the one who hit him/her. I have heard many principals tell students who say, "But my Mom/Dad said I should hit back!" that this was fine, but if the student chooses to hit, they will choose to have the consequences for hitting at school.
[Post New]04/19/2011 16:10
Anonymous
Wow. No, I am not going to teach my toddler to hit. Not ever.
[Post New]04/19/2011 16:36
Anonymous
2 year olds hit. Mom A was right to tell child not to hit, but should have removed child from the situation after the second hit, as well as made child apologize to the victim. Mom B is being ridiculous by encouraging child to hit back. Both moms were ridiculous for getting into a ridiculous fight in public like that. No wonder their kids hit.
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