To the parents at my daycare center...

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[Post New]04/09/2011 21:05
Anonymous
OP get it all out! In the DC area, well I live in Bethesda, there are such rude and "entitled" people that I feel for you. I'm sure you deal with more then we know and if it's some of the lovely people I am thinking of all u have to say is UGH!
[Post New]04/09/2011 21:06
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:if my child is developmentally delayed, i would love for my daycare provider to give me a heads up. i am not around other two year olds, so it would be great to hear from someone who is in the know.


It is very hard to approach a parent about this topic. When we have done this in the past, parents become very upset and defensive. We do give small hints, however, we can not force a parent to have their child see a specialist. When a two year old says no words at all, such as, "mama," or "dada," it should be a sign to the parent. Are the parents in denial? Are the parents waiting for us to say something? We do not know and just try to do the best that we can when the child is in our care.


It might be "hard" but it is absolutely your responsibility as a caregiver to tell the parents if you have concerns about their child. Are you really trying to say that you are holding back because you think it would be awkward?? That is part of a teacher's job-- sometimes you have to have difficult conversations with parents. No one enjoys it but you need to look out for the child's best interests. Obviously you can't "force" a parent to do see a specialist, but how do you know they will resist if you haven't even had the conversation?

"Hints" don't cut it, OP. I'm actually pretty flabbergasted by this.
[Post New]04/09/2011 21:07
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:if my child is developmentally delayed, i would love for my daycare provider to give me a heads up. i am not around other two year olds, so it would be great to hear from someone who is in the know.


It is very hard to approach a parent about this topic. When we have done this in the past, parents become very upset and defensive. We do give small hints, however, we can not force a parent to have their child see a specialist. When a two year old says no words at all, such as, "mama," or "dada," it should be a sign to the parent. Are the parents in denial? Are the parents waiting for us to say something? We do not know and just try to do the best that we can when the child is in our care.


Are you OP? Are you a real teacher?


Yes and yes.
[Post New]04/09/2011 21:08
Anonymous
Mom of child in daycare. Please don't listen to these nasty posters! I think you have just as much right to vent about your work as anyone else in this world, especially given that your venting is revolving around how much you care about the kids and want the best for them. But please tell the parents about the child who is behind. They may get angry and defensive at the time, but you could be doing them such a favor. I bet after they cool off they will realize they should really listen to someone who's profession is helping children grow and develop.
[Post New]04/09/2011 21:14
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Mom of child in daycare. Please don't listen to these nasty posters! I think you have just as much right to vent about your work as anyone else in this world, especially given that your venting is revolving around how much you care about the kids and want the best for them. But please tell the parents about the child who is behind. They may get angry and defensive at the time, but you could be doing them such a favor. I bet after they cool off they will realize they should really listen to someone who's profession is helping children grow and develop.



Thank you for a positive response regarding my vent. Some times, you just do not know how parents will take being told that something may be wrong with their child. I do understand that although it may be obvious for teachers, it may not be obvious for the parents. I have a great relationship with the parents in my class. We go out to eat together at times, I babysit their children on the weekends, and they do invite me into their personal lives as far as telling me what is going on within their household or even relationships. It's just that I have a great relationship with my parents and do not want to turn it around, just to say that something may be wrong with their child.
[Post New]04/09/2011 21:26
Anonymous
OP, we put our preemie infant in daycare and no one told us he was developmentally delayed! In retrospect, I think some teachers did try to throw hints at my DH who was responsible for pickups and drop-offs, but he, like many others, does not understand hints!
I finally got my baby to the dev. ped. but will always feel guilty that we wasted valuable time.
I wish our lives had not been so crazy then and I wish the teachers had said something more direct.
[Post New]04/09/2011 21:33
Anonymous
OP, I was one of those children who were not on target and thanks to a lovely and dedicated daycare professional my mom learned about my delay and went to look for help.

What kind of professional are you? You don't have the balls to approach the parents to let them know there's something wrong?

By the way you talk you sound bitter and not prepared for the burden that working with children is. Please seek another line of work. Those little kids are missing on having a happy sweet caregiver because you're taking her place.

Please GO AWAY!
[Post New]04/09/2011 21:35
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Mom of child in daycare. Please don't listen to these nasty posters! I think you have just as much right to vent about your work as anyone else in this world, especially given that your venting is revolving around how much you care about the kids and want the best for them. But please tell the parents about the child who is behind. They may get angry and defensive at the time, but you could be doing them such a favor. I bet after they cool off they will realize they should really listen to someone who's profession is helping children grow and develop.



Thank you for a positive response regarding my vent. Some times, you just do not know how parents will take being told that something may be wrong with their child. I do understand that although it may be obvious for teachers, it may not be obvious for the parents. I have a great relationship with the parents in my class. We go out to eat together at times, I babysit their children on the weekends, and they do invite me into their personal lives as far as telling me what is going on within their household or even relationships. It's just that I have a great relationship with my parents and do not want to turn it around, just to say that something may be wrong with their child.



BS! If your relationship with them is so great you should not be scared of talking to them about something so important.
[Post New]04/09/2011 21:39
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP, I was one of those children who were not on target and thanks to a lovely and dedicated daycare professional my mom learned about my delay and went to look for help.

What kind of professional are you? You don't have the balls to approach the parents to let them know there's something wrong?

By the way you talk you sound bitter and not prepared for the burden that working with children is. Please seek another line of work. Those little kids are missing on having a happy sweet caregiver because you're taking her place.

Please GO AWAY!



So you're saying that daycare teachers have to be magical sweet fairy princesses even on an anonymous message board for adults? Please, recognize the fact that we're human. Venting here probably will help OP deal with her frustrations so that she can better handle "the burden that working with children is" gracefully and efficiently on Monday.
[Post New]04/09/2011 21:40
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:The "English Professor" is right on. OP is a judgmental B. She's obviously unhappy in her line of work. Perhaps she should find something else to do.


Oh please. If I were in her shoes and had some parents like this I would gripe about them too...because they are unreasonable. No because she's a judgmental B.
[Post New]04/09/2011 21:41
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP, we put our preemie infant in daycare and no one told us he was developmentally delayed! In retrospect, I think some teachers did try to throw hints at my DH who was responsible for pickups and drop-offs, but he, like many others, does not understand hints!
I finally got my baby to the dev. ped. but will always feel guilty that we wasted valuable time.
I wish our lives had not been so crazy then and I wish the teachers had said something more direct.


OP here. I worked in an infant room, and now work in preschool and I must say, it is hard to point out infant delays, as infants just grow and develop at very different rates. I understand that hints may be a waste of time, to some, but to others, it is a gentle and kind wake up call. When I ask a parent if a two year old is saying any words at home and they respond no and ask if the child says anything at the daycare and I respond no as well, and let the parent know that most children are saying their first word by the age of two, I figured it was a gentle and kind hint. I suppose now, that it is not good enough. The last time I told a parent that something may be wrong with their child, the parent snapped and angrily said that we are not doctors and can not diagnose their child. I simply stated that he is correct and that is why I am just brining it to their attention that maybe they should take the child to someone that has the educational background and experience in helping to find the underlying problem in their child. He ignored...and I suppose that is why I am so hesitant now.
[Post New]04/09/2011 21:47
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Mom of child in daycare. Please don't listen to these nasty posters! I think you have just as much right to vent about your work as anyone else in this world, especially given that your venting is revolving around how much you care about the kids and want the best for them. But please tell the parents about the child who is behind. They may get angry and defensive at the time, but you could be doing them such a favor. I bet after they cool off they will realize they should really listen to someone who's profession is helping children grow and develop.



Thank you for a positive response regarding my vent. Some times, you just do not know how parents will take being told that something may be wrong with their child. I do understand that although it may be obvious for teachers, it may not be obvious for the parents. I have a great relationship with the parents in my class. We go out to eat together at times, I babysit their children on the weekends, and they do invite me into their personal lives as far as telling me what is going on within their household or even relationships. It's just that I have a great relationship with my parents and do not want to turn it around, just to say that something may be wrong with their child.



BS! If your relationship with them is so great you should not be scared of talking to them about something so important.


Plenty of people have great relationships but still have a hard time having a serious conversation dealing with a serious topic that might be offend someone.
[Post New]04/09/2011 21:54
cuzimawesome
Member Offline
This thread is gonna be exhausting.
[Post New]04/09/2011 21:58
Anonymous
OP if you have concerns that you are uncomfortable bringing up, you should absolutely bring it up with the director of your center. At a reputable center the director should be willing to observe and then bring up any concerns with the parents. I think it's terribly irresponsible to just "hint" and hope they get it.

[Post New]04/09/2011 22:02
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The "English Professor" is right on. OP is a judgmental B. She's obviously unhappy in her line of work. Perhaps she should find something else to do.


I am a teacher and I love my line of work. I have a BA in early childhood education. I have worked at my center for many years. I have never been happier with where I am at in life. I love the children in my care, as well as the parents. Just like I am sure parents talk about teachers, us teachers talk too. Why is it so wrong for teachers to actually speak up?


Nothing's wrong with it at all. But you should be able to speak up directly to the parents if you have a concern about their child. If your concern is not about the child, airing it on a public forum like DCUM just seems a little crazy. I'm sure OP has a secret fantasy that some of the actual parents she's talking about are going to see the message and think, "Holy crap she's talking about me!" and change their behavior. Guess what, OP? Not going to happen.
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