To the parents at my daycare center...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP if you have concerns that you are uncomfortable bringing up, you should absolutely bring it up with the director of your center. At a reputable center the director should be willing to observe and then bring up any concerns with the parents. I think it's terribly irresponsible to just "hint" and hope they get it.

Thank you, but that has already been done and the director simply said to "keep an eye out on it," so no, I am not being irresponsible at all, I do not think. I am doing my job and already tried to seek help from someone of higher authority. If the director said it is not a problem at this time, then I must respect what the director says. So at this time, all I can do is drop hints, without being rude, and going behind my directors back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "English Professor" is right on. OP is a judgmental B. She's obviously unhappy in her line of work. Perhaps she should find something else to do.

I am a teacher and I love my line of work. I have a BA in early childhood education. I have worked at my center for many years. I have never been happier with where I am at in life. I love the children in my care, as well as the parents. Just like I am sure parents talk about teachers, us teachers talk too. Why is it so wrong for teachers to actually speak up?

Nothing's wrong with it at all. But you should be able to speak up directly to the parents if you have a concern about their child. If your concern is not about the child, airing it on a public forum like DCUM just seems a little crazy. I'm sure OP has a secret fantasy that some of the actual parents she's talking about are going to see the message and think, "Holy crap she's talking about me!" and change their behavior. Guess what, OP? Not going to happen.

So she should not air out anything on DCUM, as if parents do not air out anything on DCUM? This site is famous for airing crap out. The odds of a parent saying oh, thats me, is pretty slim to none, as those things could very likely be happening at every daycare center in DC, MD and VA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I was one of those children who were not on target and thanks to a lovely and dedicated daycare professional my mom learned about my delay and went to look for help.

What kind of professional are you? You don't have the balls to approach the parents to let them know there's something wrong?

By the way you talk you sound bitter and not prepared for the burden that working with children is. Please seek another line of work. Those little kids are missing on having a happy sweet caregiver because you're taking her place.

Please GO AWAY!

So you're saying that daycare teachers have to be magical sweet fairy princesses even on an anonymous message board for adults? Please, recognize the fact that we're human. Venting here probably will help OP deal with her frustrations so that she can better handle "the burden that working with children is" gracefully and efficiently on Monday.

No, that's not what I said. Please read again or I'll believe you didn't overcome YOUR cognitive delay.

Cutting it short, I said that if OP really cares about those kids she should talk directly to the parents instead of just venting on an anonymous forum.

And if she really likes her job it will not be a burden, but that's the idea she's passing on here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I was one of those children who were not on target and thanks to a lovely and dedicated daycare professional my mom learned about my delay and went to look for help.

What kind of professional are you? You don't have the balls to approach the parents to let them know there's something wrong?

By the way you talk you sound bitter and not prepared for the burden that working with children is. Please seek another line of work. Those little kids are missing on having a happy sweet caregiver because you're taking her place.

Please GO AWAY!

So you're saying that daycare teachers have to be magical sweet fairy princesses even on an anonymous message board for adults? Please, recognize the fact that we're human. Venting here probably will help OP deal with her frustrations so that she can better handle "the burden that working with children is" gracefully and efficiently on Monday.

No, that's not what I said. Please read again or I'll believe you didn't overcome YOUR cognitive delay.

Cutting it short, I said that if OP really cares about those kids she should talk directly to the parents instead of just venting on an anonymous forum.

And if she really likes her job it will not be a burden, but that's the idea she's passing on here.

You were the one who stated that it was a "burden" to work with children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I was one of those children who were not on target and thanks to a lovely and dedicated daycare professional my mom learned about my delay and went to look for help.

What kind of professional are you? You don't have the balls to approach the parents to let them know there's something wrong?

By the way you talk you sound bitter and not prepared for the burden that working with children is. Please seek another line of work. Those little kids are missing on having a happy sweet caregiver because you're taking her place.

Please GO AWAY!

So you're saying that daycare teachers have to be magical sweet fairy princesses even on an anonymous message board for adults? Please, recognize the fact that we're human. Venting here probably will help OP deal with her frustrations so that she can better handle "the burden that working with children is" gracefully and efficiently on Monday.

Again, the way she said things made us believe she hates her job.

And stop with this sock puppeting. It's getting ridiculous!
No, that's not what I said. Please read again or I'll believe you didn't overcome YOUR cognitive delay.

Cutting it short, I said that if OP really cares about those kids she should talk directly to the parents instead of just venting on an anonymous forum.

And if she really likes her job it will not be a burden, but that's the idea she's passing on here.

You were the one who stated that it was a "burden" to work with children.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are letting the children down. Plain and simple. If you really cared about the kids you watched, it wouldn't matter how the parents took the news. If a child came to school everyday with strange bruises would you avoid the conversation because it was awkward? Your responsibility is to the kids NOT the parents. If they don't like what you have to say or are offended, it's their problem. There are people out there that have a pretty steep learning curve when it comes to parenting and sometimes they need things to be spelled out. My child is in daycare and I really value the opinions of all her teachers. I'll take a bruised ego any day if it means taking a little advice that might make things easier for my child.

[Anonymous]

OP,
Talk to your center director. If he/she agrees with the delay, ask her/him to talk to parents.

This happened in our case and we were grateful.

DS was a late talker, but we did not realize the extent of the delay as he is an only child and friends claimed " boys always take longer." He qualified for moco infant and toddlers' early intervention at 18 months. He was on target in time for pre-school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps you are in the wrong line of work, OP. It sounds like you have a lot of resentment toward the parents and a lot of unnecessary interest in their personal lives. I can't help but think that must spill over into how you deal with the kids. Our daycare providers are very open with us and vice versa, and it works great.

Also, it's "wandering," not "wondering." And "we teachers," not "us teachers."

Angry grammar police officer.

OP is a teacher and should be able to use correct English.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:if my child is developmentally delayed, i would love for my daycare provider to give me a heads up. i am not around other two year olds, so it would be great to hear from someone who is in the know.

It is very hard to approach a parent about this topic. When we have done this in the past, parents become very upset and defensive. We do give small hints, however, we can not force a parent to have their child see a specialist. When a two year old says no words at all, such as, "mama," or "dada," it should be a sign to the parent. Are the parents in denial? Are the parents waiting for us to say something? We do not know and just try to do the best that we can when the child is in our care.

Some parents do not care. I have two close friends who have been told their children need help. They live in total denial, which is sad because at the end of the day it is their child who suffers.

[Anonymous]

I hope you don't work at my daycare. I think, even anonymously, it's tacky to gossip about parents social lives

That being said, I always ask my teachers about my daughters development and how they think shes doing. They are very good about telling me about areas she's doing well, and where she could do better. Now, if you are who I have to look forward to in preschool. Yuck.

[Anonymous]

I worked in as a daycare teacher right out of college for several years. OP is spot on.

*I have had dads attempt to flirt with us at pickup. Most teachers did not attempt to flirt back.

*Center policies -especially chain centers - prohibit teachers from telling parents directly that their child is "delayed" as the teacher is not normally a medical or developmental specialist and can not make that call.

*Parents can become defensive about *anything* and everything including if you ask them to bring a different brand of sippy cup (some are better at not leaking).

*I have seen delayed children, who do get diagnosed, but their parents refuse services because they don't want to face the truth that their child may have issues. It's neither a lack of resources or money in many cases but rather a case of denial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:if my child is developmentally delayed, i would love for my daycare provider to give me a heads up. i am not around other two year olds, so it would be great to hear from someone who is in the know.

It is very hard to approach a parent about this topic. When we have done this in the past, parents become very upset and defensive. We do give small hints, however, we can not force a parent to have their child see a specialist. When a two year old says no words at all, such as, "mama," or "dada," it should be a sign to the parent. Are the parents in denial? Are the parents waiting for us to say something? We do not know and just try to do the best that we can when the child is in our care.

It might be "hard" but it is absolutely your responsibility as a caregiver to tell the parents if you have concerns about their child. Are you really trying to say that you are holding back because you think it would be awkward?? That is part of a teacher's job-- sometimes you have to have difficult conversations with parents. No one enjoys it but you need to look out for the child's best interests. Obviously you can't "force" a parent to do see a specialist, but how do you know they will resist if you haven't even had the conversation?

"Hints" don't cut it, OP. I'm actually pretty flabbergasted by this.

Totally agree. This sounds irresponsible. It's not the daycare center's job to constantly monitor parents and ensure follow up, but saying something, having an initial conversation, is YOUR responsiblity. So glad I don't go to this daycare.

[Anonymous]

I disagre with those bashing OP. You don't have opinions about the people you work with? About your customers or stakeholders?

She is absolutely right. However, OP - don't you have a center director? It should be his/her job to tackle these kinds of issues with the parents. Require pull ups. Expel the child who talks about murder. And tell the mom of the delayed child, "we love little Johnny so much - we have some concerns and would appreciate it if you could get him checked out". Also, don't you have age groups/"classes" for the kids? When the delayed child is still with the 18 month olds, you'd think his mom would get a clue. The director can use his failure to progress as a reason to talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps you are in the wrong line of work, OP. It sounds like you have a lot of resentment toward the parents and a lot of unnecessary interest in their personal lives. I can't help but think that must spill over into how you deal with the kids. Our daycare providers are very open with us and vice versa, and it works great.

Also, it's "wandering," not "wondering." And "we teachers," not "us teachers."

Angry grammar police officer.

OP is a teacher and should be able to use correct English.

If OP is a daycare worker, at least at MY daycare, it is common that English is not her first language.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked in as a daycare teacher right out of college for several years. OP is spot on.

*I have had dads attempt to flirt with us at pickup. Most teachers did not attempt to flirt back.

*Center policies -especially chain centers - prohibit teachers from telling parents directly that their child is "delayed" as the teacher is not normally a medical or developmental specialist and can not make that call.

*Parents can become defensive about *anything* and everything including if you ask them to bring a different brand of sippy cup (some are better at not leaking).

*I have seen delayed children, who do get diagnosed, but their parents refuse services because they don't want to face the truth that their child may have issues. It's neither a lack of resources or money in many cases but rather a case of denial.

HAHA sure, you're not a fool. He's just flirting, who would want to flirt back and be dumped after a one time thing...

On the Special Needs, I believe your center has a policy also on how to address the issue if you're not allowed to tell them on their faces. Do you mind sharing what the policy is.