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Huffington Post Article
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Anonymous
| Jasmine, I am not trying to convert you. We are all entitled to our opinions. The counter balance position against group-think mentality is sorely needed on DCUM boards. Many do not like it, witness the illiterate and agonal acusatory screams of troll, but history has shown this is not new and so what. The American revolution and woman's suffrage are one of many examples in our history where "trolls" prevailed. |
Anonymous
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http://blogs.wsj.com/ideas-market/2011/01/13/the-tiger-mother-responds-to-readers/
Responses from Author regarding the article |
Anonymous
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Thanks for sharing.
Brings balance and addtional perspective. One of five sibs, immigrated as adolescents to US during outside civil war conflict. Parents were loving and "pull-no-punches" strict..."Chinese mom" style. No TV and no football. We were hopeless with music and piano. Parents gave up. Expected As from us all. All 5 attended finest American colleges and professional and graduate schools. All 5 had degrees beyond BA or BS (despite both parental backgounds deficient in school diplomas). No inheritance. No trust funds. No assets. Significant barriers to entry here without legacy, pedigree and money. Parents clearly knew what was important for their children's survival in the streets of America given their "life's balance sheet". They made the personal sacrifices out of love for their children and ensured we would not go astray on playdates and trips to the Cape and Martha's Vineyard. No suicides. No depression. No drugs. We wish they were still alive to thank them for the love, guidance, and no-nonsense toughness they brought to our childhoods. We certainly did not know it all...but my parents clearly did...and we were lucky to have "Chinese mom" for parents. |
Anonymous
I don't think we have to read Amy's "fake" book to know there are real differences between parental styles and expectations of immigrant versus and local western parents. Immigrant families and parents ("Chinese mom") place more emphasis on education and academic rather than extracurricular (e.g., sports, plays) achievement. A "gentleman's C", lacrosse stardom and pedigree opens many opportunities for children of "Western mom" (e.g., look at Wall Street where all the money is hoarded). For these same children of "Chinese mom" many of those doors are bolted shut with a similar anemic academically portfolio. Academic performance and stardom helps open up some of those doors for children of immigrants in this country. Immigrant families know this and do not follow the "Western mom" style of child rearing. It works for the children of "Western mom" but not the children of immigrants that can't take success and survival in this country for granted; deep sixing academic performance in favor K-12 sports, extra-curricular activities and play dates. My bi-annual trips to Arizona is a constant reminder of the realities immigrant families (legal) face in this country. |
Jasmine
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Quote: "I don't think we have to read Amy's "fake" book to know there are real differences between parental styles and expectations of immigrant versus and local western parents."
Since we all know there are some differences in parenting styles between immigrant vs. non-immigrant families, differences that get less and less with each generation, how does one explain the attention this "old story" is getting? In my opinion, it is the sensational, manipulative discourse this book is peddling that is gaining it attention. Not substance. Yes, there are some differences, but those alone don't sell books. |
Anonymous
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I think many of us are second guessing how we parent and where we may have gone wrong with our Jack and Jill. Many of us have children who spend quite abit of time in front of TV sets (in multiple rooms - family room, bed room, kitchen, bathroom and media room) and playing video games during the school week. Some of us my have second doubts about whether these fun and enjoyable activities are really beneficial in the long run for children. After all these children have their entire adult lives to lounge on the coach watching TV. The first 18 years of life is relatively short compared to an adult life span approaching 80 years; and some many question what's the best way to develop a child for those brief 18 years before they have no choice but to go out and work, put food on the table and raise children of their own. Unless we have an inheritance and/or trust fund it may be difficult if the first 18 years are squandered on activities that contribute little to what we have to do for the balance of the 60 remaining years on earth. Some of us have children this generation that will not live up to or accomplish what we have achieved in our generation. And for most children, the statistically likelihood of joining the America Cup, NBA, NFL, or Hollywood is remote...or making a living at tennis, squash, swimming, lacrosse, field hockey or crew. It may not be such a bad idea to emphasize academic preparation over extra-curricular activities in a child's first 18 years of life. Such academic activities include art, reading, languages and music. This is particular true for children that are not legacies, pedigreed, or otherwise a beneficiary of large safety nets from extended family or society. On the flip side many have doubts that austerity, discipline and more hands on guidance (parental involvement) may precipitate rebellion, anger, depression and failure in our children. We strive for the adoration of our children and want them to be athletes, valedictorians and school leaders but also for our kids to have fun, be fun loving, happy and popular. We want it all. When others get it (and our kids don't) we are envious (overtly or in the closet). Deep down we feel these kids are taking away spots for us at Ivy and in life. We resent it. Families like "Cinese mom" make it increasingly more difficult for us to compete in the academic arena and around the globe. We resent this. We seek accommodation. We attack "Chinese mom".
It does not surprise me in the least this book is receiving an avalanche of commentary on DCUM, URBAN BABY and West but a yawn from the "developing" and "rising" world. |
Anonymous
| I apologise, in advance, for the typos above |
Anonymous
How about children in their 20s and 30s who have come back to live with parents, after their laissez-faire fun activities, who are not financially independent? |