Huffington Post Article

[Anonymous]

"This place is ridiculous. It's tedious to keep reading, "TROLL!" every few replies instead of a coherent response."

I agree.

The poster accused of being a troll

[Anonymous]

I am not a troll and have before been accused of that here. I think the author's piece reads like a manual for child abuse. Yeah, a strong opinion but her approach to parenting is appalling.

I saw someone quote on a message board somewhere else "why didn't she just build a robot instead of having children." I agree.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like emotion driven by a whole lot of envy and sour grapes than rationale commentary. This does not imply endorsement of the philosophy in the WSJ article. But, I do understand how people feel when they perceive they are under threat.

[Anonymous]

"Please, let it go. You were called a troll by a real troll. She wants you to get mad. Don't give her the satisfaction.

The rest of us think your opinions are interesting and you are expressing them rationally. I even agree with most of what you say. Simply ignore the troll, as you would avoid a pile of dog poop on the sidewalk, and keep posting."

Thank you for your advice. I will follow it. I also think posting with a name as a registered user is better and may discourage such people. My next post will be under a name.

[Anonymous]

"Chinese mothers" WSJ article

This "Chinese Mother" article is truly horrible! I do hope the author's students at Yale would sue her for making discriminatory statements.

Unfortunately, she will sell more copies of her book and make the round of TV shows and may even quit law school to have her own "reality" show to teach us all how to raise our kids her way. She can make home visits and teach us how to abuse our kids and humiliate them!

And the fact that these horrible generalizations and either/or fallacies are being mouthed by an intellectual at an Ivey school just goes to show the the level of degradation of the American public sphere these days. Goodbye critical thinking!

It's clearly easier to judge another group when from a historic perspective as a people (5% of the globe's population) we have been accustomed to consuming 40 percent of the globe's resources and have earned the leisure time and discretionary income and generational wealth for such "fun" activities as sailing, golf, lacrosse, Princeton and Stanley Kaplan tutoring parlors for our children and fancy vacations and camps. For other hard working people seeking a small sliver of what we have enjoyed for a few generations academic performance is one acceptable way to improve one's lot rather than schlepping kids around to non-torturous soccer, hockey, swim and lacrosse teams/club activities like many families in my neighborhood. We, like those from "immigrant" families, are well conditioned to our environments we accept as necessary for our happiness and future ambitions.

Many of those abhorred by the article (the author writes with some intentioned hyperbole) have quickly forgotten the focus, drive, single purpose of mind and energy of their own forefathers 7 generations ago when they arrived on this land scrambling for a piece of a much bigger pie. Ironically, those screaming the loudest here are descendants of the same "Chinese mothers" who landed on our eastern shores 7 generations ago to make a life for their children and families. And because of what our "Chinese mothers" did for us back then we have enjoyed the excesses being on top of the world for two generations. Well, watch out there may be some among the remaining 95% of the globe ready to exchange places with us in future generations. Screaming and hollering is no defense, simply read history.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Chinese mothers" WSJ article

This "Chinese Mother" article is truly horrible! I do hope the author's students at Yale would sue her for making discriminatory statements.

Unfortunately, she will sell more copies of her book and make the round of TV shows and may even quit law school to have her own "reality" show to teach us all how to raise our kids her way. She can make home visits and teach us how to abuse our kids and humiliate them!

And the fact that these horrible generalizations and either/or fallacies are being mouthed by an intellectual at an Ivey school just goes to show the the level of degradation of the American public sphere these days. Goodbye critical thinking!

It's clearly easier to judge another group when from a historic perspective as a people (5% of the globe's population) we have been accustomed to consuming 40 percent of the globe's resources and have earned the leisure time and discretionary income and generational wealth for such "fun" activities as sailing, golf, lacrosse, Princeton and Stanley Kaplan tutoring parlors for our children and fancy vacations and camps. For other hard working people seeking a small sliver of what we have enjoyed for a few generations academic performance is one acceptable way to improve one's lot rather than schlepping kids around to non-torturous soccer, hockey, swim and lacrosse teams/club activities like many families in my neighborhood. We, like those from "immigrant" families, are well conditioned to our environments we accept as necessary for our happiness and future ambitions.

Many of those abhorred by the article (the author writes with some intentioned hyperbole) have quickly forgotten the focus, drive, single purpose of mind and energy of their own forefathers 7 generations ago when they arrived on this land scrambling for a piece of a much bigger pie. Ironically, those screaming the loudest here are descendants of the same "Chinese mothers" who landed on our eastern shores 7 generations ago to make a life for their children and families. And because of what our "Chinese mothers" did for us back then we have enjoyed the excesses being on top of the world for two generations. Well, watch out there may be some among the remaining 95% of the globe ready to exchange places with us in future generations. Screaming and hollering is no defense, simply read history.

Massive over-generalization. My mother was the daughter of immigrants, my husband is the son of an immigrant, and did not suffer through this kind of childhood. Not to mention that the author was born and raised in the US and while she may have been subjected to this kind of upbringing, I don't see any excuse for her to inflict it on her children. Frankly, if you raise emotionally disabled children, who have been denied the honing of important social skills and the developmental benefits of play, you increase the likelihood that they won't achieve any kind of success, personal or professional. We aren't raising concert pianists or Rhodes Scholars, we're raising human beings. And they won't won't acquire all the skills you need to be successful in life with this kind of upbringing.,

[Anonymous]

You are clearly entitled to raise your children the way you see fit and worship whatever Gods may be (or not be) or you desire.

There are many who will not raise their children in your way/manner or worship your God.

You are powerless and too impotent to do anything about it save express your opinion.

Your opinion is heard.

[Anonymous]

Massive over-generalization. My mother was the daughter of immigrants, my husband is the son of an immigrant, and did not suffer through this kind of childhood. Not to mention that the author was born and raised in the US and while she may have been subjected to this kind of upbringing, I don't see any excuse for her to inflict it on her children. Frankly, if you raise emotionally disabled children, who have been denied the honing of important social skills and the developmental benefits of play, you increase the likelihood that they won't achieve any kind of success, personal or professional. We aren't raising concert pianists or Rhodes Scholars, we're raising human beings. And they won't won't acquire all the skills you need to be successful in life with this kind of upbringing.,

One man's meat is another's poison/ "suffering".

[Anonymous]

What do you have against Rhode Scholars? Some are fine men and women. Some were even raised and trained to be Rhode Scholars and were lucky enough to attain their goal.

I know of a lad in middle school that wanted to get to the NFL, like his father -- a local coach. He was raised by his father to be a football player from the age of 2. He ran countless lap after lap (on weekends under Dad's direction). He spent time in the weight room. He played on clubs and school teams. Life, nutrition, exercise and sleep, revolved around football. What torture? Perhaps the father should be thrown in jail? Who will file the charges? How will the charges read?

At times the boy hated it, the work, the training, but he ultimately succeeded and is now in the NFL. He loves it. He loves his family and father. He loved the torture to get to where he is. I doubt he will file charges against his father for the "torture" even if you or I may wish to do so.

Personally, this kid's meat is my poison. I hate playing football but watch occasionally.

You may have a problem with this approach? But so what? Don't take it with your own child.

And is the Dad with football in his blood out of bonds transferring his love and profession to his child? For many it doesn't work? Part of parenting is teaching kids about winning and losing (simply go to the DCUM Sidwell thread about winning and losing and the sea of bytes and bits spilled to date by "Western mothers and sons" over football and winning records ... sounds like "Chinese mother" over a report card with As)

Of course, it matters how children are raised and conditioned about success and failure (goes with the territory).

The father did not break any law in raising his boy to play football. Totting and brandishing guns legally does not break any law in Arizona. I would not raise my child to play football. I would not carry a gun (my preference and choice). Why should I impose my preference on this Dad? or seek to file charges of child battery?

Whine. But if kids fail in their goal it will devastate and destroy them? It may. That's life. Coddling kids may also destroy them and make them ill-equipped to survivie in the real world. No one gets what they always want and a parent may choose to teach kids about winning and losing ... and how to cope and move on...and set new goals.

Nothing wrong with training a future farmer, doctor, athlete, artist, soldier or policeman. Just look at how many children follow and do not follow a parental footstep. It's been done for generations. In this country, where there are many options in life exposure to everything and letting kids decide down the road may work since there are pathways to gainful employment to put food on the table.

In other settings and countries, there may be no paying jobs (even in medicine) to study and dabble in art, sociology, sports, and music. There may be other barriers to entry for certain ethnic groups. Families will clearly steer their children towards life sustaining directions when there are barriers to entry and no safety nets (pension, social security, health insurance, medicaid and medicare or trust fund)

[Anonymous]

Rhodes

[Anonymous]

Thanks. I apoligise for mispelling Cecil's name. My finger picking keyboard skills need much work.

[Anonymous]

apologise ... hey I even caught that a little too late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you have against Rhode Scholars? Some are fine men and women. Some were even raised and trained to be Rhode Scholars and were lucky enough to attain their goal.

I know of a lad in middle school that wanted to get to the NFL, like his father -- a local coach. He was raised by his father to be a football player from the age of 2. He ran countless lap after lap (on weekends under Dad's direction). He spent time in the weight room. He played on clubs and school teams. Life, nutrition, exercise and sleep, revolved around football. What torture? Perhaps the father should be thrown in jail? Who will file the charges? How will the charges read?

At times the boy hated it, the work, the training, but he ultimately succeeded and is now in the NFL. He loves it. He loves his family and father. He loved the torture to get to where he is. I doubt he will file charges against his father for the "torture" even if you or I may wish to do so.

Personally, this kid's meat is my poison. I hate playing football but watch occasionally.

You may have a problem with this approach? But so what? Don't take it with your own child.

And is the Dad with football in his blood out of bonds transferring his love and profession to his child? For many it doesn't work? Part of parenting is teaching kids about winning and losing (simply go to the DCUM Sidwell thread about winning and losing and the sea of bytes and bits spilled to date by "Western mothers and sons" over football and winning records ... sounds like "Chinese mother" over a report card with As)

Of course, it matters how children are raised and conditioned about success and failure (goes with the territory).

The father did not break any law in raising his boy to play football. Totting and brandishing guns legally does not break any law in Arizona. I would not raise my child to play football. I would not carry a gun (my preference and choice). Why should I impose my preference on this Dad? or seek to file charges of child battery?

Whine. But if kids fail in their goal it will devastate and destroy them? It may. That's life. Coddling kids may also destroy them and make them ill-equipped to survivie in the real world. No one gets what they always want and a parent may choose to teach kids about winning and losing ... and how to cope and move on...and set new goals.

Nothing wrong with training a future farmer, doctor, athlete, artist, soldier or policeman. Just look at how many children follow and do not follow a parental footstep. It's been done for generations. In this country, where there are many options in life exposure to everything and letting kids decide down the road may work since there are pathways to gainful employment to put food on the table.

In other settings and countries, there may be no paying jobs (even in medicine) to study and dabble in art, sociology, sports, and music. There may be other barriers to entry for certain ethnic groups. Families will clearly steer their children towards life sustaining directions when there are barriers to entry and no safety nets (pension, social security, health insurance, medicaid and medicare or trust fund)

I have nothing against Rhodes Scholars. Or concert pianists, for that matter. But look over the list of what this mother has denied her children: playdates, sleepovers, choice in activities, instruments. My guess is that if football boy is as happy as you say that he had friends, participated on other activities, and had a life in addition to his, um, training (starting at age 2? Good thing he turned out to have some ability.) Is it coddling to think that you should ensure your child has social skills? Can engage in imaginative play? Can form rich interpersonal relationships?

[Anonymous]

I do not consider American style play dates and sleepovers to be the tonic for happiness and sterling social skills in our children. It works for some but not for others. We did not have play dates in my time. We went out to the parks and played with whomever was around. My parents didn't spend time looking for houses for me to sleep over in. I did attend a few boarding camps (but they were in academic disciplines so you might not approve).

My son attends a fancy elementary school in a plush MD neighborhood. There is a kid in his class that has not been invited to one birthday party while he and others are invited weekly. The child is bright, athletic and with a great sense of humor. My son asks me daily why others don't naturally befriend this boy. I don't know but the only difference I discern (as I have encouraged my boy to take the fella under his wing) --- is the child is of different ethnicity than the neighborhood kids. Otherwise, he is no different, wears the same attire, does not smell and is mild-mannered. My boy is not his ethnicity.

The only solution some kids like this may have is to strive to outperform their "highly socially skilled" peers in whatever they try. This may represent torture in your circles -- in others -- it is a coping and survival mechanism as this child watches his classmates talk and joke about the prior evenings parties and play dates.

Play dates and sleep overs may be tonic for your children but I suspect for others lucky enough to get an invitation in some of our neighborhoods it may be nothing short of torture.

[Anonymous]

These girls are not allowed to go to the park and play with whomever. They do their homework and practice their instruments. That is all.