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Huffington Post Article
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Anonymous
| ....No play or fun stuff? |
Anonymous
This "western mom" is just like a good "Chinese mom" .... her girls "do their homework and practice their instruments. That is all". Congratulations for coming out of the closet. |
Anonymous
Huh? |
Anonymous
| Even if the Chinese approach (as described in this article) is effective for very bright and talented kids, it doesn't seem that there's much latitude for a child who has a developmental disability, learning disability, etc. I can see how an anxiety disorder could be on the horizon for some Chinese children. |
Anonymous
| I am sure a "Chinese mom" with innate knowledge about their child would calibrate her guidance for a disabled child. Don't take what you read from the Yale Professor too literally! |
Anonymous
Actually, I'm friends with two Chinese moms who've said that it's hard in their culture for parents to accept disabilities and special ed services. They think there's a lot of pressure from parents and in-laws for perfection. |
Anonymous
You don't have to be "Chinese mom" to understand the difficulty for parents, of all stars and stripes, to accept disabilities and special ed services. It takes time ask any pediatrician ... or ask me. |
Anonymous
So a Chinese Mom has an "innate sense" to "calibrate." Where does this come from? Where in the article did you see anything about calibration? (Which, BTW, is an awful word to use to describe parenting a child with a disability. Its not readjusting the equipment.) She shows no ability to "calibrate" for the individuality of either of her NT children. Where will she grow this new skill from? |
Anonymous
I'm the PP. I probably made my post too short, but yes, I do understand. I've worked with special needs children for 34 years (it's like a mission for me) and have two family members with ASD. The friends I mentioned seem to think it's even harder in their culture, but really, I'm sure it's different for each individual. Take care. |
Anonymous
I'm sure it's inscrutable. Sort of a mysterious "other" quality that westerners can admire from afar, but never understand or possess. |
Anonymous
| All moms have this innate bond with their child (including "Chinese mom") and all mom calibrate (including "Chinese mom"). Don't read the WSJ piece from the Yale Law Professor and novelist too literally! |
Anonymous
Oh where to start. I have a child with a developmental disability and I can tell you I know many parents who do a wonderful job (I REFUSE to use the word "calibrate" with regard to the relationship between parents and children.) but I have met far, far too many who have no clue, who think if they just deny, ignore and push, all the issues will go away and they will have the child they really want. Perhaps it is "innate" for some of us, I certainly feel it is for me, but I would never say "all" mothers do this. Not even close. She wasn't writing a work of fiction. I do hope it was an allegory for something else, or embellished or whatever, but I fear she is raising her children precisely as she represents. |
Anonymous
| Calibrate denotes, in the case of some kids with disability, some parents may have different academic expectations for a precocious child versus one with significant delays. As a parent I would calibrate or fit some of the activities the former may engage, for example, in preparing for the Calculus BC AP exam versus the latter who may not have any capability or desire of taking this AP exam. "Chinese mom" is able to recognise this. Both children remain loved dearly but may be at the opposite ends of the performance Bell shaped curve. |
Anonymous
|
The author's sister has Downs. She is a Special Olympics gold medalist in swimming per Wikipedia.
Her youngest has rebeled, and is playing more tennis than violin. Her oldest came in second in a recent music competition. She's a senior. I am burning to know if she got accepted to her first choice school early decision! What if she was deferred! |
Anonymous
Yes, all we have to do with our disabled children is calibrate a different course selection. Or maybe they will do Tae Kwon Do instead of soccer. Thats all there is to it! You really have no idea. And I don't see how Chinese mom recognizes considering how abusive she got with her daughter who refused to practice violin. Losing your temper is control of your behavior is not "calibration." But then again, parenting is not about tinkering with machinery. Except maybe if your the author of this piece. |