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Problem child in classroom
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Anonymous
| Oops, meant "you're", not "your". |
Anonymous
| thwomp, thwomp, thwomp, thwomp, thwomp, thwomp... Hey OP, I hear your helicopter. |
Anonymous
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OP,
What strikes me is that you have no articulated any compassion for this child. He may be experiencing anxiety and the flooded feelings lead to the need for attention, reassurance, etc. I feel sorry for this child, because he/she's not happy -- that's why they call this negative attention. I've seen such children in my child's classes over the years. This is not all that unusual. I think the thing to do is speak to the teacher. When my child was in first grade there was a student with serious impulse control issues and within the first month I gave the teacher feedback about how it was affecting my child. I would NOT ask the teacher if they thought the child learned the behavior at home. Really, that's too much. This blame the parents strain in your posts is bizarre. |
hedgehog
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Wow. The amount of time the OP has dedicated to researching and talking with other parents about the parents of the so-called problem child is scary. It is almost obsessive. It's hard not to feel sorry for this student as it is apparent you and some of the other parents have targeted this child. It's hard to believe that the child's classmates aren't going to get wind of this and also start treating the child badly.
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Anonymous
| The OP sounds like a loon with alot of time on her hands. I might be able to imagine stay at home moms gossiping with each other about oter parents and someone's child but how on earth does a working mom have the time for this. (FTR I am not saying in any way that working moms are about gossiping. They just have very limited time to chat with other parents). |
Anonymous
Right, because sah mom's do NOTHING and have tons of time on their hands. You called it. |
Anonymous
What a ridiculous blanket statement. All sahms have time to chat and all working moms don't have time to chat. That's absurd. |
Anonymous
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Okay, let's get back to the original issue here.
OP - I am the one who replied about my DS being a very clingy with the teacher and later learning that he had sensory issues and ADHD. I am so happy that none of the parents in his kindergarten class were ugly they way you are being. His self-esteem took a HUGE hit that year as he found himself in the corner every day or in the principals office. That created anxiety and it spiraled down from there. If you are truly bothered by this child, then you have options. Pay for private at one of the BIG 3 or homeschool. You cannot protect your child from children such as mine, they are everywhere...like roaches! We already pay out the ass for therapy so private is out of the question for most of us with kiddos who have special needs. But for all you lucky parents with normally developing kids, either put up with it (as it does mimic real life) or move on. |
Anonymous
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OP, how do you have any idea if the child has special needs? That information is held in confidence.
In DC, special education students are classfied under a variety of categories, including Learning Disabled, Emotionally Disturbed, Other Health Impaired, etc. If a child's mental health issues are negatively impacting their ability to learn and function in the classroom, they are entitled to special education services. This includes mental health diagnoses which can't be "seen" such as ADHD, Conduct Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Disruptive Behavior Disorder NOS, Separation Anxiety Disorder, Reactive Attachment Disorder, any number of Mood Disorders, (including Depression, Bipolar Disorder), Anxiety Disorders (including PTSD)...etc, etc etc. The ORIGIN of the mental health needs (either a physiologic cause or the result of screwy parenting or trauma or whatever) does not make a whit of difference in making sure the child gets the services they need. OP, how about you channel some the energy you have devoted to investigatign and critisizing these parents and their child, into developing some compassion and discretion? If you are so concerned about your child's education, how about you start to model and teach these qualities, instead of gossiping and laying blame? |
Anonymous
Is that even English? I mean, the WORDS are English, but the syntax . . . are you trying to do Yoda? |
Anonymous
agree. OP, i think you fail to realize it is not just one person who is disagreeing with you here. |
Anonymous
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OP I don't think your concerns are totally misplaced. In any case, but particularly in private school, you want to make sure that your child is receiving adequate attention from the teacher. The reason why you are getting so much flack on here is the way you have presenting the situation. As someone who taught elementary school for many years, here is what I recommend:
1. STOP gathering or disseminating information about this child and/or his family and/or past history. That is the very definition of gossip, and it is cruel even if you don't mean it to be. 2. Give it another few weeks to let things settle in. The first days of school are chaotic and intense for everybody. What you see now may well settle down on its own with a little time. 3. Encourage your child to be compassionate to the "problem child," not just with your words but with your behavior. Perhaps the "PC" doesn't have diagnosed special needs (although he may and you just don't know b/c it's confidential), but obviously there is something that sets him apart from others and may make him difficult to get along with. Your kid will be dealing with people like that her whole life--almost every class I've taught has had one, and every workplace I've worked has certainly had more than one! Now is the perfect time to model gracious and compassionate behavior. 4. If after some time has passed you are still having concerns about YOUR child's education, approach the teacher or the principal. But if you want to be taken seriously, focus on exactly what you feel YOUR child is missing out on educationally. Do not talk specifically about another child, just explain what you feel your kid is missing. If you think she doesn't get enough attention from the teacher, say that. If you think she's spending too much time working alone on worksheets, say that. Then work with the school to come up with a plan to make sure your kid gets what she needs. Don't concern yourself with any other children because it's just not your business. 5. Understand that classroom education is not always equal. In any classroom, the well-behaved, compliant children get less direct teacher-time than the others. But it's all part of learning to behave in group settings and it's all valuable, as long as all of the kids are learning. You have no idea how much time the teacher may be spending outside of class to develop lessons to keep the more independent kids actively learning while she deals with the harder ones. If you feel your child can't handle this, homeschooling really may be a good option. Good luck! |
Anonymous
| 16:33 - I like you. I bet you were a good teacher, and not a pushover. |
Anonymous
| Wow, 16:33 you are my hero. Thanks for an informative helpful post, even if I'm not sure the OP would be likely to heed your thoughtful advice. |
Anonymous
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I agree-great post 16:33
To OP...I am a parent of problem child...and I highly doubt I am the parent you refer to. My child has special needs, but I am sure there were some who assumed we were bad parents. My DC has never harmed a fly, but does require extra attention in the classroom and has an IEP. We get outside therapies as well. I have encountered some compassionate and wonderful parents, but there are always a few like you too. Research shows that ALL kids benefit from an inclusive environment, not just kids with special needs (if handled well by the teacher and support staff). This is a great opportunity to model compassion for your child. Oh and for the record..some might call me a kiss ass. Let me explain, I am eternally grateful to those teachers who spend the extra time to accomodate my son and treat our family with dignity and respect. I may go overboard thanking them and giving gifts at the holidays, but they mean the world to us! |