Problem child in classroom

[Anonymous]

There is a child in our DD's class who appears to be a major time suck from the main teacher. There is also an assistant teacher, but he is often pre assigned to classroom related tasks. Ideally, the "pc" would distract the assistant teacher, that might be more tolerable and more fair to the other 20 something kids in the classroom. The problem is this - the "pc" seems quite needy. He is extremely clingy, and demands and takes much of the teachers time. Some other parents in the classroom have said that the "pcs" parents are quite needy, or attention getting and like the attention and focus on them. They think the "pc" mirrors this behavior and wants to be the center of the teachers attention. Supposedly, the "pc" has a nanny most of the time. I do not know many details of the parents, I think they both work at home. As far as they know, there are no circumstances that are beyond the ordinary in their home. "PC" does shave a younger sibling, but not recently.

Has anyone encountered this in their childrens classroom? How did the teacher handle it? Did someone approach the parents? Did someone approach the teacher? Or perhaps the principal? I would not think it is fair for everyone else to have to change schools, I would think that "pc" would have to change his behavior or find another school. It does not seem the other children will be having a productive year if school has only been in session such a short time. It truly is not fair to the rest of the class.

Any constructive advice or opinions are appreciated.

[Anonymous]

How many hours have you spent in the classroom? Perhaps you are only seeing a very small snipet of the day and the behavior subsides.

[Anonymous]

Given the info, I would not rule out that this child has special needs that must be diagnosed and addressed. I would not immediately want to complain to everyone in sight and talk of booting this poor child out when s/he has clearly not had time to adjust to the school!

You seem rather hasty to judge. Hopefully you will have more patience. It is up to the parents and the teacher to work something out, if after some time the clinginess does not resolve. I would not say anything too soon, it will (rightly) make you seem nastily intolerant.

[Anonymous]

OP here. The child mentioned does not have special needs. If they did (which they do not), they would be assigned their own teacher instead of disrupting the class. I do not know if the students parents know about their childs clinginess and disruptiveness. I have been in the classroom and have seen it, which is why I brought up the question to other parents. I did not know the other parents were upset until I brought up the question of "is this normal". They all seem to agree it is not. We want to do the right thing, not just let it go.

[Anonymous]

Visit the classroom and observe.

Then write a letter to the principal or school director. Stick to the facts. In classroom X, I observed teacher Y and assistant teacher Z. I observed the following behavior from one child (don't name names): screaming, crying, interrupting, kicking, hitting, running, standing ... which took up x minites of teacher Z's time and caused the following disruptions to learning (list what you observed).

Don't make any mention of whatever you know, don'tknow, surmise, or don't surmise about the child's parents, nanny, parent's work situations, or parent personalities. None of that is ANY of your business.

However, if the child's behavior is impeding your child's ability to learn and concentrate, that is your business. I wouldn't get involved unless the situation was truly serious, but if it is, I would send such a letter and ask other parents to do the same.

[Anonymous]

PS --for "clinginess" I don't think I would get involved. Unless it was accompanied by screaming, crying, refusal to leave a teacher's arms, etc... and only if it persisted in a few weeks. If you are talking about preK or K I'd give it more time.

[Anonymous]

OP again. Here is my concern: most of the parents want to switch classrooms at this point, which is impossible and impractical. They are older than K, otherwise I would say it is somewhat normal. One or two of the parents mentioned that he was clingy to the teacher at his last school too. I did not mention his parents to judge them, only to give background, which may or may not be relevant. Signing off for tonight. Thanks so much for your input!

[Anonymous]

OP, if most parents want their kid out of the classroom because of the behavior of this child, and it is past he first week or school or the child is over the age of K i.e. not new to school environment, I'd say you have legitimate reason to bring it to the attention of the principal, and let him/her know tha parents are not happy.

My child had a very disruptive student in her class this year (K) and I was concerned, although of course I also cared about the disruptive student and wanted her to get the help and attention she needed. But in a classroom of 20 kids with NO aide, it was just not a good situation for her or the other kids or the teacher.

Fortunately, the principal did step in and got the student the help she needed. But I certainly would have said something if she hadn't.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I think you sound like a gossip.

Every class has some kids who have some issues - there are a lot of kids like that. Especially this early in the term, I would suggest you assume that there's more going on than you know, that the teachers are professionals, and that your child's year won't be ruined by one kid. Observe, but please spend less time talking to other parents about this child. If your child's education truly is compromised, then talk to the principal about what YOU saw.

One of the things kids need to learn (and their parents) is compassion and tolerance.

Yeah, the kid may be awful, but nothing in your post suggests this child is that out of the ordinary, and you sound very harsh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The child mentioned does not have special needs. If they did (which they do not), they would be assigned their own teacher instead of disrupting the class. I do not know if the students parents know about their childs clinginess and disruptiveness. I have been in the classroom and have seen it, which is why I brought up the question to other parents. I did not know the other parents were upset until I brought up the question of "is this normal". They all seem to agree it is not. We want to do the right thing, not just let it go.

Do you even know if this child has an IEP?

[Anonymous]

There's almost always a "PC" in every classroom! Your child/ren have clearly been lucky thus far not to have encountered this.

[Anonymous]

OP,
Is this private or public? Have you discussed this with the teacher? (I always start there.) Does DD mention anything? It could bother you more than her, the other parents more than their children. After all it's only the second week of school. You would not believe what I've seen over the years. (DC starts high school on Tuesday.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you sound like a gossip.

Every class has some kids who have some issues - there are a lot of kids like that. Especially this early in the term, I would suggest you assume that there's more going on than you know, that the teachers are professionals, and that your child's year won't be ruined by one kid. Observe, but please spend less time talking to other parents about this child. If your child's education truly is compromised, then talk to the principal about what YOU saw.

One of the things kids need to learn (and their parents) is compassion and tolerance.

Yeah, the kid may be awful, but nothing in your post suggests this child is that out of the ordinary, and you sound very harsh.

You sound like the parent of a "problem child".

OP sounds like she's being pretty reasonable. She does not sound like she's gossiping. She observed the class on a few occasions and noticed this behavior, at which point, she asked some other parents if this is normal. Also, the children are above K, which seems old to be this needy and clingy. If school has been in session for a couple weeks already and this child obviously has had school experience then yes, I would be concerned about how this child's behavior is affecting the rest of the class as well. ESPECIALLY if I am paying $$$$ for tuition. OP is only asking for advice on how to address the situation and 19:22 had good advice.

The best thing you can do is document specific instances, noting day and time. Talk to the principle about what you've observed and perhaps see if other parents would be interested in addressing the issue as well. If the parents of every other kid in the class feels the same way/is ready to put their kid in a different class, then there is a problem. If the school has the resources, they may be able to assign someone to work with the child individually and it is especially important to get the child's parents on board as well. I know at my DD's (private) school, they have a policy that if your child is disruptive to the learning environment, the school has a right to ask the child to leave.

[Anonymous]

OP, school just started. Why don't you give things some time to sort themselves out. Also, you may not be privy to whether this child has special needs. Your child may be the "PC" one day -- so develop some compassion and patience.

[Anonymous]

I think you should address it with the school. But stop trying to diagnose the child. It undermines the legitimacy of your point.