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Any Co-Sleepers Out There?
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Anonymous
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We are kind of co-sleepers. I have a newborn baby who we co-sleep with and a 2 year old who has his own room/bed and loves it. He also sleeps through the night with no issues tho when sick will come in with us.
We transitioned my oldest (the 2 year old) to his crib at around 4-5 months. He was fine with it and seemed ready to sleep on his own. I expect to do the same with the newborn. To PP - I think co-sleeping works well for us for our newborn b/c he is cradled in my arm and I feel comfortable like that. So does DH. As for intimacy, our sex life isn't fantastic these four months while DS is co-sleeping - but it is gets right back to normal afterwards. That works for us. Neither of us snores and I don't know - it just works. Sleeping with my 2 year old is different though. None of us sleep well when he is in bed with us, so it only happens when he is sick and needs the extra cuddling. |
Anonymous
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The US is a minority country when it comes to co-sleeping. From what I read most countries around the world co-sleep. If you google it there is no lack of info on it... Also check out "The Happiest Baby on the Block". They discuss co-sleeping around the world as well. Given that so many people co-sleep it is really not as dangerous as people make it out to be. Also, more babies die each year from SIDS and Auto accidents than co-sleeping.
We pushed the bed up against the wall. Baby sleeps between me and the wall. He barely moves all night. He's either in the crook of my arm or in his spot. I think you are just so aware they are there that your body doesn't toss and turn. We usually wake up in the same position we fall asleep in. No fluffy comforters, no pillows near baby. We're pretty safe and comfy. If you aren't comfortable with it that's ok. I can see how sleeping with baby could be scary. It just works for some people. |
Anonymous
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We, too, do a mix of co-sleeping and crib sleeping for our 3-month-old. We started co-sleeping purely out of necessity -- he just wouldn't sleep on his own, and both DH and I were so exhausted we were wrecks.
The way it worked was that one of us would hold DS and stay awake, while the other slept. Of course, that didn't last long because whoever was holding him (the "holder") would fall asleep, too. We slowly became less scared, and then all of us would sleep at the same time, but the holder just wouldn't sleep as well. (For safety purposes, we put a co-sleeper next to the bed on the side of the holder because we were nervous he'd roll off of us and out of bed.) We finally put DS in the crib this past weekend, and he's given us at least 6 straight hours with no fuss for the last five nights. (The first night, I actually woke him up to nurse because my boobs were so engorged they were killing me, and I was too tired to clean the pump parts -- luckily, he just took the boob and went right back to sleep.) In my opinion, the lesson to take from all of this is you've got to do what works for you and your family, and everyone else can go fly a kite. They don't live with you, and they don't know what you're going through. |
Anonymous
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co-sleeping is practiced in 95% of the world and i can assure you, the parents "have a life"~~~!!! first off, as a newborn our baby was in a moses basket in the middle of the bedbetween DH and i, then in a bassinet on my side of the bed for easy BF, we didnt have him in our bed with us till after 1yo, now that he's a toddler, yes, he's squirmy, but just this am i said to my husband, did youever think a foot in your fact could be so delicious, as our toddler was still sleeping when we woke up..as for adult "relations", if you have a healthy relationship, it'll happen, we often sneak into the guest room, or some nights we can transfer our sleeping DS to his room once he's asleep and have some time in our bed, also our "tv room" has become our room of choice after our DS is asleep upstairs, where there is a will, there's a way! many toddlers will naturally want there own bed and room when they are school aged, and we hope ours will to. we have a baby on the way and have begun to talk about how much fun a big boy bed would be..but if DS isnt ready for it, we'll keep him in our bed and i'll have newborn in a bassinet on my side of room. there are soo many health benefits esp to a newborn and infant when co-sleeping, breathing and temperature regulation, proximity to mothers breast, smell, breath, etc, james mckenna is a wonderful maternal infant sleep researcher out of notre dame and has done a beautiful job introducing western culture to the benefits of co-sleeping:
http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/advantages.html |
Anonymous
| oops, that was supposed to read "foot in the face" |
Anonymous
LOL, PP -- when I first read "foot in the fact" I was thinking that "fact" was your nice way of saying "ass." 
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clarabow
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| Been off-and-on co-sleepers but trying to migrate him back to his bed a bit -- lately he wakes up if I just slightly shift position, so neither of us gets decent sleep. His dad has been sleeping with him on a mattress on the floor of his room to help transition. As for the people asking about safety, it was too scary for us when he was very wee, but when he got a little bigger it felt safer. I've got a safety rail on my side of the bed that collapses down during the day, and I used to be hard-core about no bedding (pillows, sheets anything) above my waist (this meant sleeping in sweaters to keep warm) but have relaxed a little on that now that DS is stronger. |
Anonymous
| To the co-sleepers....I was wondering....how do you get your child to bed? If they are sleepy at 7:30pm, do you lie down with them until they fall asleep? Then do you get up and join them later? How do you keep the toddler/baby from falling out of the big adult bed? Or does everyone stay up until 10pm and go to sleep together? |
clarabow
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| For us, the little guy starts in his crib after nursing/rocking/Ergoing to sleep (between 7-8pm), but has usually ended up in the bed with us after his first nightwaking (by then I'm in bed even if I'm reading documents for work or catching a little TV with the captions on). Don't know about what others do. |
Anonymous
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Co sleeping worked well for us. We transitioned out 1st at 2 years into a twin bed. It took a few nights of laying next to her unti she fell asleep but then it was fine.
Maybe our kids are easy but I credit co sleeping with never having to deal with sleep training issues. They both slept through the night early on and were good sleepers. |
zumbamama
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To answer the transitioning question...I bought my son one of those little toddler car beds off Ebay and put it in my bedroom for a couple months. He LOVED it too much to sleep with me! Plus, I did not force him to sleep in it, he made the move on his own...but only after he saw a cool bed next to mine. A few months later, he moved into his room and now my 2 year old daughter is in my bed.
To answer the question about how the hubby and I still have sex...when your bed is occupied with children...it requires a bit more imagination and creativity on where to have sex...which makes it more exciting in my opinion. After the kids go to sleep, there's the kitchen, the laundry room, the shower, the piano room, the backyard! Sure keeps things lively! Hope this is not TMI! |
Anonymous
Hi from another co-sleeping family.
Good luck. |
Anonymous
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OK - have to be the the word of caution...my DH works in an ER and at least 1-2 times a year he will come home with a story of an infant who was smothered b/c of co-sleeping. Not only with a parent, but sometimes an older sibling/cousin. We swore off co-sleeping early on and DH would stay up when I would nurse at night...to take care of the diaper changing and soothing back to sleep...but also to make sure I did not fall asleep. Eventually we gave in from time to time when baby was a little older.... we used one of the bed extenders for infants. And then later he would occassionaly sleep in-between us - usually when he would wake up at night. Now at 14 months only when he is sick... much to mobile for anyone to get sleep now with him in double bed with two adults.
In many cases, smothering occurs when the parent/ other has been drinking or is over-tired or a very heavy sleeper. We did even with the first hand knowledge of the minimal, but real dangers. But sometimes a word of caution can be helpful for others also. |
Anonymous
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Really? How unusual...is it a local ER? 1-2 times a year seems pretty frequent. How often do they see SIDS cases? Isn't SIDS much more common for babies sleeping alone in their cribs?
Since cosleeping is the biological norm, it seems like smothering deaths by parents should be extremely rare...its against our genetic best interest. |
Anonymous
Huh? It's okay if you choose to co-sleep, but I think these sorts of statements are ignorant generalizations. Cosleeping is the "biological norm?" Then why do most children choose to sleep separately eventually? In some countries they stay in one bed because that's all they have... so using other countries as references doesn't always translate to American culture either. My only question with cosleeping is "do both parents agree with it?" If so, then it can work. But the two friends I have that cosleep have a very unhappy arrangement with their spouses. One woman forces it on her husband, who wants more time alone with her and is unhappy the that she has to have her 2 year old in bed with them. She still nurses too. The other woman has a husband that insists their son sleep with them because he is a doctor that works odd hours and he doesn't see his son much...so at 3 years old, they all sleep together...and she is miserable. But if both of you are on board, more power to you. But stop saying that "the rest of the world is doing it.... that's why everyone should!" That's a silly argument. Pointing out that the ER answer didn't mention the comparative SIDs in cribs rates makes more sense. |