Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any high school girl who has a mom who reports that she is popular and frustrated that everyone wants to be her friend is absolutely a mean girl. Full stop. OP's daughter is most likely a problem and if I were OP, I would be getting to the bottom of it, because who wants to be on some crazy person's kill list because they decided to play reindeer games in high school? OP needs to teach her popular daughter how to be a kind and gracious person to everyone she is in a community with.

Best answer, right here

Why? I’ve been in this situation. It was exhausting. A lot of people who wanted to be friends had one-sided expectations. They’d get what they want out of the friendship, and they didn’t care if I was having an awful time or were tired or generally how I was feeling. It’s ok to be well-liked and have more people want to be friends than the other way around.

Oh you poor little mean girl. It was just so exhausting to say hi back to Larla and Larlo when they smile and wave in the hallway. You do not have to be friends with everyone, there is a difference between treating everyone kindly and being friends with everyone. I am someone who is considered "popular" in my community. I volunteer a lot, serve on PTA, I'm pretty social, and generally know most all of my neighbors. There are plenty of people I do not care much for, but I smile and wave at everyone, and when I see someone I don't want to chat with, I still smile and say "Hi Larla, I hope you're having a great day, see you around!"

It costs me nothing to do this sort of thing and making someone else feel seen and a part of the community at zero cost to me is absolutely worth it every single day.

Well, I think we share the same beliefs, which is to smile and wave in the community but to be more selective about friends, but the way you expressed this was quite mean.

Anonymous wrote:Did OP ever come back to tell us what she ended up doing? Or did all the nasty people on here scare her away?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did OP ever come back to tell us what she ended up doing? Or did all the nasty people on here scare her away?

I am reading. I wrote an update a few pages back.

I am skipping over the crazier posts because there are still some good points embedded between them. I am going to talk to my daughter this weekend; she had tests, games, etc. all week and is exhausted.

sarah_moore_lpc wrote:I would be pretty freaked out if I got that email. Most of us would fire off a reply we might later regret. But it sounds like you're looking to take the high road and truly support your daughter and whoever wrote this. I might write the person back with a sincere apology and thanks for bringing it to your attention. Nothing questioning her...short and sweet. I would not bring up the email right away to your daughter. There's plenty of time for that. But I would consult with folks you trust at the school and a counselor for children your daughter's age. Your daughter may be going through something. Why take a chance on that?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any high school girl who has a mom who reports that she is popular and frustrated that everyone wants to be her friend is absolutely a mean girl. Full stop. OP's daughter is most likely a problem and if I were OP, I would be getting to the bottom of it, because who wants to be on some crazy person's kill list because they decided to play reindeer games in high school? OP needs to teach her popular daughter how to be a kind and gracious person to everyone she is in a community with.

Best answer, right here

Why? I’ve been in this situation. It was exhausting. A lot of people who wanted to be friends had one-sided expectations. They’d get what they want out of the friendship, and they didn’t care if I was having an awful time or were tired or generally how I was feeling. It’s ok to be well-liked and have more people want to be friends than the other way around.

Oh you poor little mean girl. It was just so exhausting to say hi back to Larla and Larlo when they smile and wave in the hallway. You do not have to be friends with everyone, there is a difference between treating everyone kindly and being friends with everyone. I am someone who is considered "popular" in my community. I volunteer a lot, serve on PTA, I'm pretty social, and generally know most all of my neighbors. There are plenty of people I do not care much for, but I smile and wave at everyone, and when I see someone I don't want to chat with, I still smile and say "Hi Larla, I hope you're having a great day, see you around!"

It costs me nothing to do this sort of thing and making someone else feel seen and a part of the community at zero cost to me is absolutely worth it every single day.

Well, I think we share the same beliefs, which is to smile and wave in the community but to be more selective about friends, but the way you expressed this was quite mean.

DP here. The ones who can't manage that wonder why they are so miserable. We all have enough friends, it costs nothing to be human.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any high school girl who has a mom who reports that she is popular and frustrated that everyone wants to be her friend is absolutely a mean girl. Full stop. OP's daughter is most likely a problem and if I were OP, I would be getting to the bottom of it, because who wants to be on some crazy person's kill list because they decided to play reindeer games in high school? OP needs to teach her popular daughter how to be a kind and gracious person to everyone she is in a community with.

Best answer, right here

Why? I’ve been in this situation. It was exhausting. A lot of people who wanted to be friends had one-sided expectations. They’d get what they want out of the friendship, and they didn’t care if I was having an awful time or were tired or generally how I was feeling. It’s ok to be well-liked and have more people want to be friends than the other way around.

Oh you poor little mean girl. It was just so exhausting to say hi back to Larla and Larlo when they smile and wave in the hallway. You do not have to be friends with everyone, there is a difference between treating everyone kindly and being friends with everyone. I am someone who is considered "popular" in my community. I volunteer a lot, serve on PTA, I'm pretty social, and generally know most all of my neighbors. There are plenty of people I do not care much for, but I smile and wave at everyone, and when I see someone I don't want to chat with, I still smile and say "Hi Larla, I hope you're having a great day, see you around!"

It costs me nothing to do this sort of thing and making someone else feel seen and a part of the community at zero cost to me is absolutely worth it every single day.

Well, I think we share the same beliefs, which is to smile and wave in the community but to be more selective about friends, but the way you expressed this was quite mean.

DP here. The ones who can't manage that wonder why they are so miserable. We all have enough friends, it costs nothing to be human.

I hope everyone reads this again. It LITERALLY costs nothing to smile and wave. People are struggling and we don't know it. That could be a difference in their day, their week.

How hard is it for people to just be kind?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any high school girl who has a mom who reports that she is popular and frustrated that everyone wants to be her friend is absolutely a mean girl. Full stop. OP's daughter is most likely a problem and if I were OP, I would be getting to the bottom of it, because who wants to be on some crazy person's kill list because they decided to play reindeer games in high school? OP needs to teach her popular daughter how to be a kind and gracious person to everyone she is in a community with.

Best answer, right here

Why? I’ve been in this situation. It was exhausting. A lot of people who wanted to be friends had one-sided expectations. They’d get what they want out of the friendship, and they didn’t care if I was having an awful time or were tired or generally how I was feeling. It’s ok to be well-liked and have more people want to be friends than the other way around.

Oh you poor little mean girl. It was just so exhausting to say hi back to Larla and Larlo when they smile and wave in the hallway. You do not have to be friends with everyone, there is a difference between treating everyone kindly and being friends with everyone. I am someone who is considered "popular" in my community. I volunteer a lot, serve on PTA, I'm pretty social, and generally know most all of my neighbors. There are plenty of people I do not care much for, but I smile and wave at everyone, and when I see someone I don't want to chat with, I still smile and say "Hi Larla, I hope you're having a great day, see you around!"

It costs me nothing to do this sort of thing and making someone else feel seen and a part of the community at zero cost to me is absolutely worth it every single day.

Well, I think we share the same beliefs, which is to smile and wave in the community but to be more selective about friends, but the way you expressed this was quite mean.

DP here. The ones who can't manage that wonder why they are so miserable. We all have enough friends, it costs nothing to be human.

I hope everyone reads this again. It LITERALLY costs nothing to smile and wave. People are struggling and we don't know it. That could be a difference in their day, their week.

How hard is it for people to just be kind?

FWIW, in my book, the definition of 'kind' is somewhat more nuanced. But knock yourself out, keep smiling your fake smile and wave your creepy little wave.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did OP ever come back to tell us what she ended up doing? Or did all the nasty people on here scare her away?

I am reading. I wrote an update a few pages back.

I am skipping over the crazier posts because there are still some good points embedded between them. I am going to talk to my daughter this weekend; she had tests, games, etc. all week and is exhausted.