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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
Let's all come clean
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Anonymous
| 20:36, I can't stop laughing. I love that. You've redeemed this entire addictive, flame-ridden site. |
Anonymous
If I stayed at home, you bet I'd use the TV more, childrens videos. Since I work part-time, we play and it wears me out. I feel guilty that I never sterilized anything, like my brother did with his children. I feel guilty that I don't call home when he's with his nanny-I'm sure she thinks I'm a terrible mom, but we trust her. I feel guilty that I raise my voice, he's only 14 mos. but still gets into trouble. I feel guilty that I take him out to eat-we eat the Austin Grill 2 nights a week and other places on the weekends-I don't do the fast food, but wouldn't have a problem with letting him have chicken mcnuggets once in awhile. I feel guilty that I still do things that I did before child...and enjoy being away from him. I feel guilty that I can't wait for his bedtime, so that I can have time to myself, but that's after we've played for 5 hours  I feel guilty that I give him a couple of cookies in the afternoon so I can grab 20 minutes for myself. I feel guilty that I like going to work-and love my job. I feel guilty about a lot of stuff-but I try, to the best of my ability, to be the best mom to my DS. And my DS is so happy all the time, always smiling and laughing, and my heart melts when he runs into my arms and gives me hugs. If anyone can make me laugh, and put me in a better mood, it's him.
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Anonymous
Don't feel bad, we all feel like that some days. We're human. |
Anonymous
Been there and done that -- I think that swallowing those feelings and not naming them makes for a very unhappy mother. |
Anonymous
Nope-Financially, we don't need my income. I work, part-time, because I'm a better mom being away from my DS. My income is used for fun stuff, clothes, vacations, food, the dog, the cats, house stuff-my dh takes care of everything else, including our nanny. Talk about guilt. But I think I would become a terrible mom if I was home all day. I envy moms who can stay at home and love it! I also gave up BF 3 weeks after I had our son. |
Anonymous
I hated the first year, especially the first 6 months. Questioned myself as to why we decided to have a child...but we were exhausted. My neighbor stayed at home when her children were little and her husband traveld 80% of the year...she would get up in the middle of the night and put a smile on her face, but would say F--K You under her breath. They didn't know what that meant, they were infants...she's the one person who made me feel better when I would hate my life, and tell me it was ok to have bad thoughts. She said have bad thoughts, but keep a smile on your face, they'll never know. 
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Anonymous
| And find a good friend to share those bad thoughts with. |
Meconbear
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| I brush my DS's teeth maybe twice a week. I also hate myself when my sister in-laws tell me how much they loved staying at home iwth their kids and what good mothers they are when I'm struggling to keep my sanity with the utter tedium of taking care of a baby and feel happy that I work PT so I can have some adult time! I also hate that I'm obessed with thinking of all the sleepless nights and work that #2 will bring in a few months instead of being happy that I'm pregnant. I sometimes think that I'm not cut out to be a mom. |
Anonymous
I would feel the same way if we decided to have child #2. And we're all wired differently-I'm a happy mom because I work part-time-if I were home all day, I worry that I'd become so unhappy that I might become abusive-take my frustration out on him. Since I have my afternoons with our son, I love to play with him, feed him, take him on walks, and then look forward to his bedtime. My time off is devoted to him-it works best for our family. I wish there was a mom group where we could meet and discuss these issues out in the open-while having coffee or having dinner Just yesterday, my dh and I were talking about how much more gratifying and fun it is to spend time with our son, since he's so interactive now-we play hide and seek, and I have to admit, it's fun! It's gotten so much better but that first year was so hard for us. I felt so tired, so blah, but it's gotten better.
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Meconbear
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Everyone says that they get more fun...I'm looking forward to that time 
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Anonymous
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I yelled, I worked Part time when I didn't have to, I fed them stuff they shouldn't have been eating. My mother told me the hardest to do as mother though, is to forgive yourself. If you can forgive yourself, you actually do get better, and thank goodness, they get older. And, as teenagers, they'll get you back in spades. Feel good about yourself, forgive yourself, and the rest will come.
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Anonymous
Oh-they do! When he runs into my arms, I hug him so hard, I think I might be hurting him When he throws his food on the floor, I want to scream. I never knew having a baby and raising a child would be this difficult, but having said that, I can't imagine my life without him.
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Anonymous
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I relate to so much of what is being said here. Thank you everyone for your honesty, it's incredibly valuable.
I always imagined that when I became a mother I would automatically feel like I have it together, like a switch would flip and I would feel more like a grown-up, less like a kid. Well, here I am a mother of two children and... not so much!! Don't know when it's going to happen... |
Anonymous
| Couldn't have needed anything more than this thread today...I spanked my DS on him bum for the first time in 2.5 years for peeing, on purpose while laughing, all over my carpet and furniture in my bedroom last night. I was up all night assigning myself terrible mom labels and feeling incredibly guilty; I put myself in time out in front of him and apologized later...didn't help, still felt condemned to horriblemomdom. I'm going to try the counting to 1,2,3 and hope I never get that upset again. Thank you everyone for sharing. |
Anonymous
| I quit smoking as soon as I found out I was pregnant, but I started again when I went back to work. The associations got me, I guess. I feel stupid/weak that I quit for a whole year, and knowingly lit up again. |