Let's all come clean

[clarabow]

I think I am decent at the patience thing but that is probably because I am lucky to have TONS of support. I'm totally lazy about things like tooth-brushing (we do it maybe 50% of the time), and I too have been guilty of using milk that has been out longer than it should instead of tossing it. I feel guilty whenever I take advantage of babysitting time to do something useless like surf the net.

[Anonymous]

I work when financially we could easily afford to have me stay at home with my 3 year old and 7 month old. I also did not BF my 7 month old. I think I am the worst one here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work when financially we could easily afford to have me stay at home with my 3 year old and 7 month old. I also did not BF my 7 month old. I think I am the worst one here!

OP here - you are NOT the worst one here -- no one is. This thread just proves (as I hoped it would) that we all have our shortcomings when to comes to parenting, and that no one is perfect. We can afford to have me stay home, which I do, but as I wrote in my last post, there are days I feel my DS would be better off in daycare playing with other kids and participating in educational activities rather than watching 2 hours of Baby Einstein while I do household chores, and I'd be better off (i.e. have a more "balanced" life) working. But if I did that then I'd feel guilty that I wasn't home with him -- the guilt is never ending!

[Anonymous]

well, I guess I'll be the most awful 1st person here to say that I have slapped my 4 yr old on several occasions over a 2 yr period. In anger.

In no way do I think this is OK or justified. and yes I know better.

[Anonymous]

Thank you so much for this post. I too am guilty of most of the above - except somehow I have managed (not sure how) to keep my 2.5 year old away from McD's!! But, the yelling at him - especially since his baby brother (3 mos) got here has been bad. I notice a night and day difference in myself depending on how well the infant sleeps - how tired I am. I wish I could take it back as soon as it's out of my mouth. Luckily, the 2.5 year old is quick to forgive and forget, it seems.

[Anonymous]

This thread is just in time. I did something today I am really ashamed about and NEVER thought I would do.

I manipulated my 3yo son to yell "be nice daddy!" to make DH feel guilty. I took advantage of DC #1's normal kid behavior of repeating what we say in a passive aggressive attempt to assert MY way. This wasn't over a major issue. DC #2, also a toddler, was having a meltdown and DH handled it differently than I would have.

I got angry. Really angry. I was trying SO HARD not to explode (which for me is really hard). In hindsight, if I had just yelled at DH out of impulse - even in front of the kids - it would have been more honest than hatching a plot. I thought I was keeping myself under control.

How could I use my son against his father? Where did this evil woman come from?

OP, thank you. And thank you to all posters for a judgement-free, flameless thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, I yell too and hate myself for it. Hmmm perhaps there is a dirty little secret here and more importantly, perhaps there are some ideas to help with the yelling. I really can lose it sometimes with my kids. I have a quick to frustration level (always) which has improved but is no where where I would like it to be. I see it in my kids too (learned/hereditary?) The bad thing, to me at least, is that when I talk to friends about it, they don't really offer any help, as I think no one who knows me can really see me losing it with them (I can keep up appearances pretty darn well). My husband knows and has talked with me about coping ideas, and thankfully is not one to pass judgement, but it stinks and it makes me feel lousy. BTW, I came from a yelling, dysfunctional family and I VOWED to not raise my kids in that environment.

Let's go to coffee and talk about strategies. I have tried so many things and still get pushed to yelling. I can even feel my heart racing. My mom has witnessed this and claims I'm going to have a heart attack. I am currently taking a stress management yoga class. I think it's helping, but it;s only once a week.

[Anonymous]

I have stopped yelling, well, mostly. I found that counting to three helps a ton. I also rationalize that when I am yelling, the kids stop listening.

Today I am guilty of being sick and tired of my children. They are doing everything I don't want them to, and not listening to me at all. I wish I could just get away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of the above. Feel terribly guilty for the amount of TV my kids watch (am a SAHM) and often think, my kids would surely be better off in daycare where they'd be interacting with kids/learning etc b/c I'm a horrible, disorganized mother who spends too much time on the internet or reading US magazine.

My biggie has to be when #2 was born, my then-2.5 yo daughter really bore the brunt of my post-partum depression/exhaustion and I feel awful for the way I yelled at her at times b/c she was just a baby herself and why couldn't I see that back then. I have a lot of guilt about the way I've treated her.

Me too, even worse. My DD was only 1.5 yrs.

[Anonymous]

I sometimes spoon feed my 10 month old daughter or give something "not messy" so that I do not have to clean up. LOL

[Anonymous]

I feel like it's a very long day with my baby today. Looking forward to a break and going back to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes spoon feed my 10 month old daughter or give something "not messy" so that I do not have to clean up. LOL

OP here - I totally do that, too! We've just started learning to use utensils, and some days I just don't feel like cleaning up the yogurt, or whatever, and feed it to him myself!

[Anonymous]

I put my son to bed in his clothes for the next day. It cuts down on morning time. I got that from my sis. She did it so much that her kids did not know what pj's were.

[Anonymous]

My 4 year old doesn't like to watch tv. I literally beg him to watch so I can make dinner. I'm also guilty of all of the other things to, like yelling and McDonalds. This is my favorite post ever.

[Anonymous]

To 1707, thanks for the post. Honestly, would love to grab coffee sometime. I hear ya on the heart racing. Thanks for this thread everyone.