Thanks, will try another board - This is my second time posting and I thought this would be considered more "general" 😅

Hi moms/dads, our family just relocated to Wilmington, DE, for work. I gave birth to my first child in DC and am now pregnant with baby #2 here in Wilmington.

We are total newbies (no friends nor acquaintances in the vicinity) to this neighborhood and are looking for obgyn recommendations - if any of you moms are from/familiar with Delaware.

So far I have looked into Christiana Healthcare System and a few other local practices. I have also gotten some suggestions that I should look into UPenn obgyn/delivery option in Philly (approx 30 miles from our home).

Any recommendation would be much appreciated!

Anonymous wrote:Ok, wow, this is a tough one. I think BY FAR your best option for his commute is the MARC train and a beater car in perryville. MARC is really nice and not as expensive as Amtrak.

that puts you around New Carrolton, MD - you could take metro into DC and it wouldn't be impossible. Schools might become an issue quickly (if this is a 3 yaer plan).

I think you could white knuckle through this for 6 months. But long term this is pretty brutal.

Yes, school is another issue we'll have to face...

Is MARC reliable and do they run frequently between NC and Perryville? With Amtrak, I think their monthly pass was like $1,500 between NC-Wilmington DE, takes about 1.5 hour each way.

Anonymous wrote:

js426 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - is this a new job or has he been transferred? Is there any chance he was transferred in an effort to get him to find his way out of the org? If so I would re evaluate any moves.

I think your best options are Baltimore suburb/au pair or he takes the train & keeps a contingency car in DE in case of emergency, last option would be he keeps a midweek apartment and only comes home on weekends.

We are currently doing NY-DC long distance where I do the weekly commute to/from DC Mon-Thursday. He decided to transfer close to DC and Delaware is the closest...

Eventually we both know this will get old, so he would have to find other opportunities (because my job is tied to DC), but for now we wanted to give this DE-DC arrangement a shot.

What's your salary and job field? You mention rent being high in some areas, so I assume your salary is not very high. Could you find a similar salary at a job closer to DE?

I'm in the international development field so no job prospects in DE... My salary is not that high (low 100k) but high enough where I don't want to quit my job

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This will be awful for both of you. I don't think it's sustainable long term (although Joe Biden did it for decades in reverse). Maybe DH should rent a studio apartment in Newark and drive up Monday morning and come home Thursday night and work from home on Friday.

This is what my spouse and I do and it's been fine. That commute is not sustainable particularly if there is no telecommute option or no option to work on the train as part of your day.

You and your spouse have been doing DE-DC commute? Would you be able to share more - where do you live (I presume on the MD side?), where in DE do you have to go to, what is your main form of transportation (train?), and what is your work arrangement? Thanks! I know our situation is not ideal nor realistic, but your comment gives me a bit of hope...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would look in silver spring to minimize time on I-495. Bethesda and friendship heights increase his time on I-495 which could easily add 30-60 minutes to his already long commute. Do you commute with metro? Check his driving distance from stations north west of DC. Also, if you would consider driving also, see Columbia / laurel and those areas that would give him quick access to I-95.

Pp again. Also, check greenbelt, Tacoma park, and other areas. Basically, you’d want to live outside the beltway to minimize his commute and close to metro to minimize yours. But stay away from FH and Bethesda. He’s be driving an hour just on the beltway portion on his return commute.

Thank you for the helpful tips! Didn't think of Greenbelt.. Will look into it!

Anonymous wrote:OP-

you aren't being realistic. I say this as someone who has a spouse who just took a job in Alexandria,VA and we live in Columbia, MD.

As a back to workforce mom, you cant afford to be the primary parent and that is what will happen. Kid wakes up sick or with a fever, your spouse is already gone for the day because he will need to leave at 4/5 am. Kid gets sick at daycare- you will need to pickup.

Make sure you think of not the BEST situation but the WORST situation and how it would work out because it does happen.

Yeah..It's not ideal, I agree At the moment though, we have no choice, as we both need our respective jobs. We can both look for something else, but at least until one of us finds something, we will have to figure out a way to make this arrangement work...sigh

Anonymous wrote:https://www.redfin.com/MD/New-Carrollton/6101-Lamont-Dr-20784/home/11055773

Something like this

Aww, thanks!! If the neighborhood is safe (i don't know anything about the New Carrollton neighborhood), we are totally open to finding something right by the train station! And DH can drive into work from DE train station (with his beat car)

Anonymous wrote:I would look in silver spring to minimize time on I-495. Bethesda and friendship heights increase his time on I-495 which could easily add 30-60 minutes to his already long commute. Do you commute with metro? Check his driving distance from stations north west of DC. Also, if you would consider driving also, see Columbia / laurel and those areas that would give him quick access to I-95.

Thanks! We most likely will both drive - I'll just be doing the drop-off/pick-up of our LO, which I don't mind. In case of any emergency, at least one of us wants to be close to home or/and daycare...

Anonymous wrote:OP - is this a new job or has he been transferred? Is there any chance he was transferred in an effort to get him to find his way out of the org? If so I would re evaluate any moves.

I think your best options are Baltimore suburb/au pair or he takes the train & keeps a contingency car in DE in case of emergency, last option would be he keeps a midweek apartment and only comes home on weekends.

We are currently doing NY-DC long distance where I do the weekly commute to/from DC Mon-Thursday. He decided to transfer close to DC and Delaware is the closest...

Eventually we both know this will get old, so he would have to find other opportunities (because my job is tied to DC), but for now we wanted to give this DE-DC arrangement a shot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd move to the burbs of Baltimore and get a big house. Hire an au pair. You both leave the house EARLY to get to work. Au pair gets the preschooler off in the morning and covers any emergencies (like kid is sick and you are at the office). This works best if you have some flexibility to WFH either one day a week, or as needed.

But yes, driving so much will really take it's toll on both of you, so that's the downside. I had friends who had a similar set up (one working in DE and one in DC) and they lived in Baltimore. Of course, they didn't have a child when they did this.

This is a good option.

When you say the 'burbs" of Baltimore, what areas are you referring to? Any recommendations? Thanks!

Thank you all for your inputs, I really appreciate it! My job is tied to DC and so is my husband's (at least for now). My work is more flexible though so I'm sure I can work something out there.

We will look into renting-out-a-studio in DE option. Not sure if he would be able to work from home but for now that might be the most viable option :'(

Would none of the neighborhoods really matter then, where we end up living...?

Also if the one-way commute was 2 hours, do you think '1.5-hour Amtrak + 20 minutes of driving' is better than '2 hours or driving'?

Really??? :'( I guess that would be physically less draining....

The cost of Amtrak tickets for DC-Delaware is not cheap - They're just as expensive as DC-NY tickets...sigh

The thing with living near Union Station is that the rent is high as well.

Hi, first time posting here

I'm in need of some advice/recommendations.

My work: DC (Farragut West)
My husband's work: Relocating to Delaware (Newark)
Child: Almost 3-year-old toddler girl

My husband wants to commute on a daily basis and we are trying to find a place where the commute for him would be a little more bearable. Initially we had thought of living near Union Station, but it turns out he would still need to drive 10 miles in Delaware to get to his work. So he would rather drive, despite the long commute on the road (1.5-2 hours, each way..... ) We also toyed with the idea of living in Baltimore, but he thinks one of us should be close to work + daycare, and that person should be me.

So far we have narrowed down to a few neighborhoods.

-Friendship Heights
-Silver Spring
-Bethesda
-Hyattsville

We are not looking into buying anytime soon, but rather live in an apartment/condo for a few years and save up. Considering our LO will be 3.5 this coming Fall, we would also have to think about school (Pre3K) or just continue to send her to daycare.

I know nowhere is really ideal for my husband's commute, but if you were in my situation, where would you live and why? Any other neighborhoods we should look into?

Thanks so much in advance!!