Daily commute to Delaware - where to live...?

[js426]

Hi, first time posting here

I'm in need of some advice/recommendations.

My work: DC (Farragut West)
My husband's work: Relocating to Delaware (Newark)
Child: Almost 3-year-old toddler girl

My husband wants to commute on a daily basis and we are trying to find a place where the commute for him would be a little more bearable. Initially we had thought of living near Union Station, but it turns out he would still need to drive 10 miles in Delaware to get to his work. So he would rather drive, despite the long commute on the road (1.5-2 hours, each way..... ) We also toyed with the idea of living in Baltimore, but he thinks one of us should be close to work + daycare, and that person should be me.

So far we have narrowed down to a few neighborhoods.

-Friendship Heights
-Silver Spring
-Bethesda
-Hyattsville

We are not looking into buying anytime soon, but rather live in an apartment/condo for a few years and save up. Considering our LO will be 3.5 this coming Fall, we would also have to think about school (Pre3K) or just continue to send her to daycare.

I know nowhere is really ideal for my husband's commute, but if you were in my situation, where would you live and why? Any other neighborhoods we should look into?

Thanks so much in advance!!

[Anonymous]

js426 wrote:Hi, first time posting here

I'm in need of some advice/recommendations.

My work: DC (Farragut West)
My husband's work: Relocating to Delaware (Newark)
Child: Almost 3-year-old toddler girl

My husband wants to commute on a daily basis and we are trying to find a place where the commute for him would be a little more bearable. Initially we had thought of living near Union Station, but it turns out he would still need to drive 10 miles in Delaware to get to his work. So he would rather drive, despite the long commute on the road (1.5-2 hours, each way..... ) We also toyed with the idea of living in Baltimore, but he thinks one of us should be close to work + daycare, and that person should be me.

So far we have narrowed down to a few neighborhoods.

-Friendship Heights
-Silver Spring
-Bethesda
-Hyattsville

We are not looking into buying anytime soon, but rather live in an apartment/condo for a few years and save up. Considering our LO will be 3.5 this coming Fall, we would also have to think about school (Pre3K) or just continue to send her to daycare.

I know nowhere is really ideal for my husband's commute, but if you were in my situation, where would you live and why? Any other neighborhoods we should look into?

Thanks so much in advance!!

Can you reconsider living near Union Station and get your husband a beater/ commuter car to keep on the lot at the Newark train station?

[js426]

Really??? :'( I guess that would be physically less draining....

The cost of Amtrak tickets for DC-Delaware is not cheap - They're just as expensive as DC-NY tickets...sigh

The thing with living near Union Station is that the rent is high as well.

[Anonymous]

Can you transfer your job? Logistically and in the long-term, unless you want to feel like a single parent for the year or so it takes for him to completely burn out.... You need to be closer than 2 hours away.

[Anonymous]

I'd move to the burbs of Baltimore and get a big house. Hire an au pair. You both leave the house EARLY to get to work. Au pair gets the preschooler off in the morning and covers any emergencies (like kid is sick and you are at the office). This works best if you have some flexibility to WFH either one day a week, or as needed.

But yes, driving so much will really take it's toll on both of you, so that's the downside. I had friends who had a similar set up (one working in DE and one in DC) and they lived in Baltimore. Of course, they didn't have a child when they did this.

[Anonymous]

This will be awful for both of you. I don't think it's sustainable long term (although Joe Biden did it for decades in reverse). Maybe DH should rent a studio apartment in Newark and drive up Monday morning and come home Thursday night and work from home on Friday.

[Anonymous]

js426 wrote:Hi, first time posting here

I'm in need of some advice/recommendations.

My work: DC (Farragut West)
My husband's work: Relocating to Delaware (Newark)
Child: Almost 3-year-old toddler girl

My husband wants to commute on a daily basis and we are trying to find a place where the commute for him would be a little more bearable. Initially we had thought of living near Union Station, but it turns out he would still need to drive 10 miles in Delaware to get to his work. So he would rather drive, despite the long commute on the road (1.5-2 hours, each way..... ) We also toyed with the idea of living in Baltimore, but he thinks one of us should be close to work + daycare, and that person should be me.

So far we have narrowed down to a few neighborhoods.

-Friendship Heights
-Silver Spring
-Bethesda
-Hyattsville

We are not looking into buying anytime soon, but rather live in an apartment/condo for a few years and save up. Considering our LO will be 3.5 this coming Fall, we would also have to think about school (Pre3K) or just continue to send her to daycare.

I know nowhere is really ideal for my husband's commute, but if you were in my situation, where would you live and why? Any other neighborhoods we should look into?

Thanks so much in advance!!

Four hours a day on the road will get old pretty fast.

[Anonymous]

This is not sustainable, OP. Everyone I know who did DC-Baltimore couldn't even do that for more than a limited time.
Can you look for a job closer to your husband's?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This will be awful for both of you. I don't think it's sustainable long term (although Joe Biden did it for decades in reverse). Maybe DH should rent a studio apartment in Newark and drive up Monday morning and come home Thursday night and work from home on Friday.

+1 This is only way to do it, barring moving to Baltimore or someone changing jobs. Colleagues from my company have been working on a long-term project near Aberdeen, MD and even that was way, way too far to commute on a daily basis from DC. Newark is another 30 miles further.

[Anonymous]

People bitch and moan to commuting to Baltimore from DC. Newark is another hour from Baltimore!!!

I would get a home by Baltimore. That’s the only viable option for you to share a home.

Or he should get a studio by Newark and travel on Mondays and Thursdays to DC.

Just to give you perspective, my good friend lives in Newark. It took her 4 hours to visit me during rush hour once. If your DH had to do this on a daily basis, it would be soul crushing. I don’t think it is doable from DC. Sorry.

[js426]

Thank you all for your inputs, I really appreciate it! My job is tied to DC and so is my husband's (at least for now). My work is more flexible though so I'm sure I can work something out there.

We will look into renting-out-a-studio in DE option. Not sure if he would be able to work from home but for now that might be the most viable option :'(

Would none of the neighborhoods really matter then, where we end up living...?

Also if the one-way commute was 2 hours, do you think '1.5-hour Amtrak + 20 minutes of driving' is better than '2 hours or driving'?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd move to the burbs of Baltimore and get a big house. Hire an au pair. You both leave the house EARLY to get to work. Au pair gets the preschooler off in the morning and covers any emergencies (like kid is sick and you are at the office). This works best if you have some flexibility to WFH either one day a week, or as needed.

But yes, driving so much will really take it's toll on both of you, so that's the downside. I had friends who had a similar set up (one working in DE and one in DC) and they lived in Baltimore. Of course, they didn't have a child when they did this.

This is a good option.

[Anonymous]

Baltimore best option or quit your job and move to
Newark or Middletown Delaware.

[Anonymous]

Two hours of anything, one way, is way too long. I'd change jobs at that point.

[js426]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd move to the burbs of Baltimore and get a big house. Hire an au pair. You both leave the house EARLY to get to work. Au pair gets the preschooler off in the morning and covers any emergencies (like kid is sick and you are at the office). This works best if you have some flexibility to WFH either one day a week, or as needed.

But yes, driving so much will really take it's toll on both of you, so that's the downside. I had friends who had a similar set up (one working in DE and one in DC) and they lived in Baltimore. Of course, they didn't have a child when they did this.

This is a good option.

When you say the 'burbs" of Baltimore, what areas are you referring to? Any recommendations? Thanks!