Anonymous wrote:I would look in silver spring to minimize time on I-495. Bethesda and friendship heights increase his time on I-495 which could easily add 30-60 minutes to his already long commute. Do you commute with metro? Check his driving distance from stations north west of DC. Also, if you would consider driving also, see Columbia / laurel and those areas that would give him quick access to I-95.

Anonymous wrote:OP-

you aren't being realistic. I say this as someone who has a spouse who just took a job in Alexandria,VA and we live in Columbia, MD.

As a back to workforce mom, you cant afford to be the primary parent and that is what will happen. Kid wakes up sick or with a fever, your spouse is already gone for the day because he will need to leave at 4/5 am. Kid gets sick at daycare- you will need to pickup.

Make sure you think of not the BEST situation but the WORST situation and how it would work out because it does happen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not doable. I do the DC to DE drive every few months and during rush hour. It’s not 1.5 hours, it’s 3. More on Friday nights...

Summer is a whole other hell with beach traffic.

Whoa, forgot about the beach traffic.

Anonymous wrote:This will be awful for both of you. I don't think it's sustainable long term (although Joe Biden did it for decades in reverse). Maybe DH should rent a studio apartment in Newark and drive up Monday morning and come home Thursday night and work from home on Friday.

Anonymous wrote:OP - is this a new job or has he been transferred? Is there any chance he was transferred in an effort to get him to find his way out of the org? If so I would re evaluate any moves.

I think your best options are Baltimore suburb/au pair or he takes the train & keeps a contingency car in DE in case of emergency, last option would be he keeps a midweek apartment and only comes home on weekends.

js426 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - is this a new job or has he been transferred? Is there any chance he was transferred in an effort to get him to find his way out of the org? If so I would re evaluate any moves.

I think your best options are Baltimore suburb/au pair or he takes the train & keeps a contingency car in DE in case of emergency, last option would be he keeps a midweek apartment and only comes home on weekends.

We are currently doing NY-DC long distance where I do the weekly commute to/from DC Mon-Thursday. He decided to transfer close to DC and Delaware is the closest...

Eventually we both know this will get old, so he would have to find other opportunities (because my job is tied to DC), but for now we wanted to give this DE-DC arrangement a shot.

Anonymous wrote:I would look in silver spring to minimize time on I-495. Bethesda and friendship heights increase his time on I-495 which could easily add 30-60 minutes to his already long commute. Do you commute with metro? Check his driving distance from stations north west of DC. Also, if you would consider driving also, see Columbia / laurel and those areas that would give him quick access to I-95.

Anonymous wrote:https://www.redfin.com/MD/New-Carrollton/6101-Lamont-Dr-20784/home/11055773

Something like this

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not use this as an opportunity to move to a (much) less expensive area (Delaware) and have the time to raise your child, perhaps as a -- gasp-- full time mother? I would have given anything for that chance.

I would if I could - I actually JUST returned to my DC job from being a full-time stay-at-home-mom I wish I could have done longer but due to various reasons (financial, job security being the top 2), I had to return. My husband's job is actually in NY (and we all moved to NY during my unpaid leave) so now that I'm back at work, I've been commuting between DC and NY every week. Surprisingly, it hasn't been too bad: I was itching to work again/we live in Jersey City, NJ, so I take Amtrak from Newark, which saves me time to get into Manhattan/train ride is so comfortable and I have a few solid hours of uninterrupted me-time.

For me, the career prospect isn't THAT great (plus, I've gotten less ambitious over the years, as my priority now is my LO) but the job is good with great benefits and flexibility to work from home occasionally. For my husband, the career prospect is much better and he really enjoys his work, but it doesn't give him much flexibility in terms of working from home (he is in banking).

So yeah, I think we just have to find out what the BEST option is out of all the BAD ones out there...

Anonymous wrote:OP-

you aren't being realistic. I say this as someone who has a spouse who just took a job in Alexandria,VA and we live in Columbia, MD.

As a back to workforce mom, you cant afford to be the primary parent and that is what will happen. Kid wakes up sick or with a fever, your spouse is already gone for the day because he will need to leave at 4/5 am. Kid gets sick at daycare- you will need to pickup.

Make sure you think of not the BEST situation but the WORST situation and how it would work out because it does happen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would look in silver spring to minimize time on I-495. Bethesda and friendship heights increase his time on I-495 which could easily add 30-60 minutes to his already long commute. Do you commute with metro? Check his driving distance from stations north west of DC. Also, if you would consider driving also, see Columbia / laurel and those areas that would give him quick access to I-95.

Pp again. Also, check greenbelt, Tacoma park, and other areas. Basically, you’d want to live outside the beltway to minimize his commute and close to metro to minimize yours. But stay away from FH and Bethesda. He’s be driving an hour just on the beltway portion on his return commute.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This will be awful for both of you. I don't think it's sustainable long term (although Joe Biden did it for decades in reverse). Maybe DH should rent a studio apartment in Newark and drive up Monday morning and come home Thursday night and work from home on Friday.

This is what my spouse and I do and it's been fine. That commute is not sustainable particularly if there is no telecommute option or no option to work on the train as part of your day.