My entire life, I've struggled with a facial mark that caused a great deal of bullying and embarrassment throughout my childhood. I've spent 10's of thousands of dollars to improve the appearance of it - those procedures plus heavy makeup allows it to go somewhat undetected in my life now that I'm in my 30s. I met my husband after much of this was done.

I now have a handsome little boy - well, handsome if it weren't for the fact that I passed on this blemish. I'm wracked with guilt. I really thought that this was a fluke thing and not something to worry about passing, but it's so prominent on my baby as his skin is milky white and the contrast is so strong. As a male, he won't be able to wear makeup to cover it and I cannot tell you how horrible I feel about it.

My husband has been talking about another child and I'm beside myself. I can't imagine another child running around the house with this and my husband seeing the faint image of it on my face when I'm out of the shower.

Any advice on how I can get over myself and what I can do to help my son once he's old enough to get questions?

Egm80 wrote:If you are interested in data and not just anecdotes, there is a book on this called "The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce" that followed children of divorce (and the divorcees) after 25 years. It is worth a read.



What does it say

Here is the abstract from a psychology website:
Abstract
This follow-up study of 131 children, who were 3-18 years old when their parents divorced in the early 1970s, marks the culmination of 25 years of research. The use of extensive clinical interviews allowed for exploration in great depth of their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors as they negotiated childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, and adulthood. At the 25-year follow-up, a comparison group of their peers from the same community was added. Described in rich clinical detail, the findings highlight the unexpected gulf between growing up in intact versus divorced families, and the difficulties children of divorce encounter in achieving love, sexual intimacy, and commitment to marriage and parenthood. These findings have significant implications for new clinical and educational interventions. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2012 APA, all rights reserved)

Are you swaddling?

If you are interested in data and not just anecdotes, there is a book on this called "The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce" that followed children of divorce (and the divorcees) after 25 years. It is worth a read.