DS wants to have sleepovers, but is still in pull-ups at night

[Anonymous]

So DS will be 7 the first week of September. He has never been to a sleepover, as he still wears pull-ups at night, wakes up wet each and every morning without fail.

He's made good friends with a couple of other boys from his summer swim team, two of whom live very close to us. Apparently there's been many requests thrown around for someone to have a sleepovers (all adults are fully vaccinated across all the families). I've talked to DS about this, and explained--gently--the difficulty and risk of attempting this, with him still being in pull-ups at night.

DS has made it very clear that he does NOT care at all if his two closest friends know about the pull-ups, and we're good enough friends with the families in question that I actually somewhat agree (?!) that more than likely, neither of the two boys in question would give DS a hard time about it whatsoever. They're very good kids. However, I am still concerned, as kids their age aren't known for being good with secrets.

What would you do here...? DS is heartbroken missing out on sleepovers, and even more badly wants to be able to have his friends over. But I'm torn.

[Anonymous]

You are overthinking this. This could be as simple as him discreetly putting them on (at home, or elsewhere) after everyone gets their pjs on.

And my son went the bed until he was 6-7. It wasn’t nightly, so he didn’t wear pull ups, but it was often enough that we layered his bed with puppy pads. For all you know, the other kids wet the bed, too.

[Anonymous]

Try some training techniques. Maybe bed setting alarms. Maybe no pull-ups and getting up and changing his bed. Anything to get him to feel the need to go. Personally I would not risk this. Having a kid with SN, I can’t tell you how cruel even good kids can be.

[Anonymous]

Does he wear Pj's at night? I'd think he could easily just put on a pull up under his Pj's, and none of the other kids would even need to know.

[Anonymous]

There is a medication he can take so that he will be dry that night - ask your ped. My DS took it for sleep away camp at about that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he wear Pj's at night? I'd think he could easily just put on a pull up under his Pj's, and none of the other kids would even need to know.

Hi there. DS does not wear pajamas. He's never really been a pajama wearing kid at all, on the occasion we can get him to wear them, he usually ends up taking them off sometime in the night anyways. At home he usually sleeps in just a pull-up.

[Anonymous]

Both my kids did sleepovers and camp with pullups at that age, and it bothered them not a bit. I think kids are a little better about teasing these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he wear Pj's at night? I'd think he could easily just put on a pull up under his Pj's, and none of the other kids would even need to know.

Hi there. DS does not wear pajamas. He's never really been a pajama wearing kid at all, on the occasion we can get him to wear them, he usually ends up taking them off sometime in the night anyways. At home he usually sleeps in just a pull-up.

Also should have said in my OP, my bad! Part of my concern with this whole 'plan' is that DS wants to take full ownership, right off that bat regarding this (instead of hiding it as some PP's have suggested) and tell these two boys upfront that he wears pull-ups at night. So he doesn't have to be concerned about it during the sleepover.

THIS is actually more what I'm concerned about, than anything. I'm confident we could keep it hidden, fairly easily especially if the sleepover were to happen at our house.

[Anonymous]

My son's best friend wore pull ups for sleepovers. He used his own sleeping bag and changed discreetly. It wasn't a big deal, I don't even think the other boys realized. My son had occasional accidents at the time so it's possibe your son isn't the only one wetting at night. It seems to take longer for some boys.

Btw, my son is an adult now and they are still best friends. I say, give it a try. I'm not sure if kids still use sleeping bags for sleepovers, but you could have a change of pull ups/underwear for the morning inside the bag. If it's at his friend's house, you can quietly let the other parent know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Also should have said in my OP, my bad! Part of my concern with this whole 'plan' is that DS wants to take full ownership, right off that bat regarding this (instead of hiding it as some PP's have suggested) and tell these two boys upfront that he wears pull-ups at night. So he doesn't have to be concerned about it during the sleepover.

THIS is actually more what I'm concerned about, than anything. I'm confident we could keep it hidden, fairly easily especially if the sleepover were to happen at our house.

Your son wants to tell his friends he's in pull ups for bed? I don't understand this. Why?

I agree with a PP, they make medication called Desmopressin that isn't a long term solution for wetting the bed, but would be ideal for just a night here and there.

[Anonymous]

We had sleepovers with boys who wore pull ups at that age. The moms called me and the boy put the wet pull up in a bad and in the bathroom trash in the am.

Nobody cared.

Btw my son had his tonsils removed and he no longer wet the bed.

[Anonymous]

Talk to the other mom/dad and have them help your son with the pullup and PJs. It's not uncommon - we've been both the host and the guest with pullups at age 7.

[Anonymous]

I think 7 is too young for sleepovers regardless of the pull-up situation. We didn’t start until 8, it was hard getting them to sleep, and then delayed again until 10.

[Anonymous]

My son had a really good friend who used pull-ups through 3rd grade. The mom gave me a heads up, and I just showed him that he could change in the bathroom and put his pull-up in the wastebasket in the morning.

When he came out, I immediately went in and bagged up the trash. Very discreet.

[Anonymous]

My third kid was in a pull up until age 10. She had severe bladder reflux issues with UTIs and had several surgeries as a child and then residual night wetting. We just sent her to the sleepovers with a pull-up and a bag for it in the morning. All her good friends' moms knew. No one cared.