DS wants to have sleepovers, but is still in pull-ups at night

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Forgive my ignorance but how late is too late for pull-ups so that medical intervention is required? That’s what I would be thinking about instead of sleepovers...

Like age 12. There is a ton of ignorance in this thread about this. It isn’t a big deal at age 7. He will age out of it in all likelihood.

+1 Exactly what the ped said, no need to address concerns before age 12. We didn't think our DS would every be dry through the night, finally was at age 11.

Is all this bed wetting something new? I don’t remember it being like this when I was young.

You don't remember it happening to YOU. Bedwetting up to age 7 or so is extremely common and up to puberty happens for a significant minority of kids, mostly boys. Bedwetting actually runs in families.

My father was a bedwetter and was beaten for it so learned to hide it well. My brother and one of my sons wet the bed until well into elementary school. My other son nighttime trained the same time he potty trained, so was completely dry by 3. No medical issues or lack of training in the bedwetters, just all incredibly deep sleepers. When my son was 8, he wanted to try a bedwetting alarm, and that did the trick...after a few weeks of the alarm screaming the family awake at night. (But not DS-- he slept through it the entire first week, only waking when I went in and woke him. It was actually amazing to see how deeply he slept. Similarly, I remember my mother saying to my father when my brother was about 9 that she didn't know what they'd do if there were ever a fire at night, that they'd never get my brother awake and out of the house and would have to drag him. )

[Anonymous]

7 is young for different nothing to do with a pull-ups, but my friend DD is 12 and she still wears them at night, you can't barley tell you're wearing them (Goodnites) Only reason I know its cause her mom told me about it, I don't think my DD knows about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both my boys 11 and 8 wear goodnites and have done sleepovers since the first grade. They have always worn pajamas at other people's homes and I always informed the host parent they wet at night. I'm sure there's been questions from other boys about their pull ups as they are noticeable under their pajamas. Neither of my boys have had a bad sleep over experience. At home pajamas are optional except during sleep overs. We tried an alarm with my oldest over the summer and he slept through it. My oldest has seen a pediatric urologist. I decided against medication since he is fine with wearing pull ups. For now we just deal with it.

what if they wear an oversized t-shirt? For the 8 year old can he wear his brothers t-shirt from a sleepover the are not very noticeable if an oversized shirt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS and DD both had good friends who wore pull ups at sleepovers. It was a complete non issue. Both were definitely still wearing them in 4th grade. They may have even later. The parents reached out separately to give me a heads up before the first sleepover. At some point the kids talked about it. A few times my daughters friend got up and took a shower in the morning. Everything was fine.

I was a bed wetter for a very long time as a child and wish pull ups had been invented. It’s medical and nothing to be ashamed of.

You have amazing kids. They are great friend and its good to see their friends are okay wit them knowing since they won't tell anyone at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Forgive my ignorance but how late is too late for pull-ups so that medical intervention is required? That’s what I would be thinking about instead of sleepovers...

This is my thought as well. Girls esp shouldn't be wearing diapers at 7+ years old, perhaps that IS the cause of all of the UTI's etc this kid is experiencing. I think so many parents have convinced themselves pull ups are something different than diapers, and it seems so much accommodation is being made. Several posts above a mom notes that her 7 year old didn't wear them anymore, had 3 accidents then never again, usually its the accident that sparks the change in behavior. I don't know it just seems like.. alot...

[Anonymous]

Are pull ups or Goodnites fairly discreet under pajamas? Would the other kids know if he had one on at all?

We never used them, as we went directly from diapers to underpants. I know diapers aren't especially bulky under clothes while they're dry, but for my LO that would pee a lot until he was almost 5, his diaper would be MASSIVE the following morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are pull ups or Goodnites fairly discreet under pajamas? Would the other kids know if he had one on at all?

We never used them, as we went directly from diapers to underpants. I know diapers aren't especially bulky under clothes while they're dry, but for my LO that would pee a lot until he was almost 5, his diaper would be MASSIVE the following morning.

They are mostly discreet under pajamas, but my DS used to wear a over sized t-shirt over them so no one could tell he had one on. They are a bit noisy when they walk but no one was ever able to tell.
I think his best friend knew but no one else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually think the pullup will be less of an issue than him not wearing pajamas at a sleepover. If he wasn't in a pullup, he would just wear underwear to sleep? That's fine at home but I would never let my kids do that at someone else's house or if he had friends over. I think you need to work on getting him to wear pajamas to bed on the nights he wants to have sleepovers--they'll hide the pullups and I don't think anyone will even know.

Ack, OP here!! Very, very sorry for not being around to answer everyone's' questions life got extremely crazy these past few days, and I haven't been online much. All is well now though!

So...bit of a (late) update, but DS has already talked with one of the other kids about this (this past weekend). This boy is the oldest of three other kids, and the younger siblings are both still in diapers full-time (non-potty trained) so he was not at *all* phased about DS wearing a pull-up. I also talked with his mother, who was INCREDIBLY sweet, and was 100% fine with helping out with the pull-up situation, if need be.

We will certainly be aiming to have first every sleepover here. I absolutely believe his family would have no problem with a sleepover at their house, dealing with pull-ups etc--however at this point, I think I'd be doing them a favor by not asking them to entertain a bunch of boys all evening.

The 2nd boy likely won't be able to go to a sleepover for the time being, due to covid reasons. But DS still wants for this to happen, in the future.

I did talk with DS about pajamas, and discreetness, etc. DS is adamant that he does NOT want to wear pajamas (during the sleepover) but instead wants to wear one of DH's large T-shirts, with a pull-up underneath. Not entirely sure how I feel about that (at home he wears nothing but a pull-up). I'm leaning towards insisting her wear PJ's if/when the time comes for a sleepover at a friends' house.

Appreciate everyone's help once again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he wear Pj's at night? I'd think he could easily just put on a pull up under his Pj's, and none of the other kids would even need to know.

Hi there. DS does not wear pajamas. He's never really been a pajama wearing kid at all, on the occasion we can get him to wear them, he usually ends up taking them off sometime in the night anyways. At home he usually sleeps in just a pull-up.

That's where your issue started. Be classy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually think the pullup will be less of an issue than him not wearing pajamas at a sleepover. If he wasn't in a pullup, he would just wear underwear to sleep? That's fine at home but I would never let my kids do that at someone else's house or if he had friends over. I think you need to work on getting him to wear pajamas to bed on the nights he wants to have sleepovers--they'll hide the pullups and I don't think anyone will even know.

Ack, OP here!! Very, very sorry for not being around to answer everyone's' questions life got extremely crazy these past few days, and I haven't been online much. All is well now though!

So...bit of a (late) update, but DS has already talked with one of the other kids about this (this past weekend). This boy is the oldest of three other kids, and the younger siblings are both still in diapers full-time (non-potty trained) so he was not at *all* phased about DS wearing a pull-up. I also talked with his mother, who was INCREDIBLY sweet, and was 100% fine with helping out with the pull-up situation, if need be.

We will certainly be aiming to have first every sleepover here. I absolutely believe his family would have no problem with a sleepover at their house, dealing with pull-ups etc--however at this point, I think I'd be doing them a favor by not asking them to entertain a bunch of boys all evening.

The 2nd boy likely won't be able to go to a sleepover for the time being, due to covid reasons. But DS still wants for this to happen, in the future.

I did talk with DS about pajamas, and discreetness, etc. DS is adamant that he does NOT want to wear pajamas (during the sleepover) but instead wants to wear one of DH's large T-shirts, with a pull-up underneath. Not entirely sure how I feel about that (at home he wears nothing but a pull-up). I'm leaning towards insisting her wear PJ's if/when the time comes for a sleepover at a friends' house.

Appreciate everyone's help once again!

Your kid is a brat. It's not a choice. He wears PJs if he wants a sleep over.JFC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually think the pullup will be less of an issue than him not wearing pajamas at a sleepover. If he wasn't in a pullup, he would just wear underwear to sleep? That's fine at home but I would never let my kids do that at someone else's house or if he had friends over. I think you need to work on getting him to wear pajamas to bed on the nights he wants to have sleepovers--they'll hide the pullups and I don't think anyone will even know.

Ack, OP here!! Very, very sorry for not being around to answer everyone's' questions life got extremely crazy these past few days, and I haven't been online much. All is well now though!

So...bit of a (late) update, but DS has already talked with one of the other kids about this (this past weekend). This boy is the oldest of three other kids, and the younger siblings are both still in diapers full-time (non-potty trained) so he was not at *all* phased about DS wearing a pull-up. I also talked with his mother, who was INCREDIBLY sweet, and was 100% fine with helping out with the pull-up situation, if need be.

We will certainly be aiming to have first every sleepover here. I absolutely believe his family would have no problem with a sleepover at their house, dealing with pull-ups etc--however at this point, I think I'd be doing them a favor by not asking them to entertain a bunch of boys all evening.

The 2nd boy likely won't be able to go to a sleepover for the time being, due to covid reasons. But DS still wants for this to happen, in the future.

I did talk with DS about pajamas, and discreetness, etc. DS is adamant that he does NOT want to wear pajamas (during the sleepover) but instead wants to wear one of DH's large T-shirts, with a pull-up underneath. Not entirely sure how I feel about that (at home he wears nothing but a pull-up). I'm leaning towards insisting her wear PJ's if/when the time comes for a sleepover at a friends' house.

Appreciate everyone's help once again!

Your kid is a brat. It's not a choice. He wears PJs if he wants a sleep over.JFC

I'm not sure why this is such a big deal. Both my sons run around the house in their goodnites. Once they take a bath they put on a pull up for the night. Pajamas haven't been worn for months.

[Anonymous]

I asked our pediatrician about that just this week at our 6 year old check up. She said 15% of 6 year olds wet the bed every night, and that it decreases by about 1% each year. She recommended doing nothing other than limiting liquids after dinner, and making sure he goes #1 and #2 regularly during the day. She said to call her if he has any day time issues and otherwise to not even think about it.

It's genetic and biological, and also totally normal (for 15% of kids).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually think the pullup will be less of an issue than him not wearing pajamas at a sleepover. If he wasn't in a pullup, he would just wear underwear to sleep? That's fine at home but I would never let my kids do that at someone else's house or if he had friends over. I think you need to work on getting him to wear pajamas to bed on the nights he wants to have sleepovers--they'll hide the pullups and I don't think anyone will even know.

Ack, OP here!! Very, very sorry for not being around to answer everyone's' questions life got extremely crazy these past few days, and I haven't been online much. All is well now though!

So...bit of a (late) update, but DS has already talked with one of the other kids about this (this past weekend). This boy is the oldest of three other kids, and the younger siblings are both still in diapers full-time (non-potty trained) so he was not at *all* phased about DS wearing a pull-up. I also talked with his mother, who was INCREDIBLY sweet, and was 100% fine with helping out with the pull-up situation, if need be.

We will certainly be aiming to have first every sleepover here. I absolutely believe his family would have no problem with a sleepover at their house, dealing with pull-ups etc--however at this point, I think I'd be doing them a favor by not asking them to entertain a bunch of boys all evening.

The 2nd boy likely won't be able to go to a sleepover for the time being, due to covid reasons. But DS still wants for this to happen, in the future.

I did talk with DS about pajamas, and discreetness, etc. DS is adamant that he does NOT want to wear pajamas (during the sleepover) but instead wants to wear one of DH's large T-shirts, with a pull-up underneath. Not entirely sure how I feel about that (at home he wears nothing but a pull-up). I'm leaning towards insisting her wear PJ's if/when the time comes for a sleepover at a friends' house.

Appreciate everyone's help once again!

Your kid is a brat. It's not a choice. He wears PJs if he wants a sleep over.JFC

I'm not sure why this is such a big deal. Both my sons run around the house in their goodnites. Once they take a bath they put on a pull up for the night. Pajamas haven't been worn for months.

how old are they?

[Anonymous]

From the other side of this. My son wet the bed until he went through puberty. We tried all sorts of things, but it really is more common in boys and runs in families (both sides had uncles that this occurred in). Glad OP found a solution, just wanted to educate folks who didn’t know bc it hasn’t happened to them or their family. FWiw my son is a college athlete and doing really well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Forgive my ignorance but how late is too late for pull-ups so that medical intervention is required? That’s what I would be thinking about instead of sleepovers...

Like age 12. There is a ton of ignorance in this thread about this. It isn’t a big deal at age 7. He will age out of it in all likelihood.

+1 Exactly what the ped said, no need to address concerns before age 12. We didn't think our DS would every be dry through the night, finally was at age 11.

Is all this bed wetting something new? I don’t remember it being like this when I was young.

This is not new. This was my sister in the 80s. And her husband apparently. This has always been going on. Some kids simply are not biologically ready. The numbers from the poster about about 15% and the going down 1% each year are about right.

You probably don’t remember because people were way more ashamed and tried to hide this stuff then. And you already see that some folks haven’t changed much based on this post.

I love that OP kid already told his friend who was like “no big deal.” This is how it should work.