Can I take my kids on vacation against their father's wishes?

[Anonymous]

DH and I are currently married, but I am thinking about separating as DH has pretty severe mental illness and is hard to live with.

We have been invited to go on vacation with a family member in a few months. DH doesn't want to go, because something about the vacation is triggering some delusional thinking. His reasoning is not rational, it is related to mental illness.

I am considering telling him I'm sorry, and taking my kids anyway. I realize this could be a final straw leading to separation, or it could be that we'll already be separated, but I'm sure I won't be divorced by then.

I'm wondering what the legal ramifications would be of just taking the kids and going. To be clear, the trip is in the US, and would involve driving and staying multiple nights.

[Anonymous]

In case it makes a difference, we live in Maryland, and the destination is not in Maryland, or the DMV area.

[Anonymous]

I believe it's legal, but if there's a big fight about it, he might not trust you regarding kid travel after the divorce. But that will probably happen anyway... Might as well have one last fun trip without the legal hassle!

[Anonymous]

Technically I think this can be considered parental abduction. I would check with a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Technically I think this can be considered parental abduction. I would check with a lawyer.

Nonsense. OP is going on a vacation with other family members. She is not moving or relocating permanently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Technically I think this can be considered parental abduction. I would check with a lawyer.

Nonsense. OP is going on a vacation with other family members. She is not moving or relocating permanently.

That is not the definition of parental abduction.

[Anonymous]

OP— you say he doesn’t want to go. But is he opposed to you and the kids going? Have you even asked?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP— you say he doesn’t want to go. But is he opposed to you and the kids going? Have you even asked?

I have asked. He does not want my kids or me to go.

[Anonymous]

I guess the risk assessment is simply, do you think he would call the police and report it as a parental abduction? Do you think he might react in a way that creates an unsafe environment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess the risk assessment is simply, do you think he would call the police and report it as a parental abduction? Do you think he might react in a way that creates an unsafe environment?

Ignore he called the police and said “my wife took my kids and went to visit my family member. Here is the address of the house they rented”. what would happen?

[Anonymous]

I’d put it in writing in an email. Something like…
“Bob-
I’m taking the kids to Jenny & Jim’s house at Deep Creek Lake. The address is 1234 Marvel Lane. We’ll be back by dinner time on Saturday.
-Sally”

[Anonymous]

Take the kids on vacation, then come home and file for divorce with sole legal and primary physical custody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess the risk assessment is simply, do you think he would call the police and report it as a parental abduction? Do you think he might react in a way that creates an unsafe environment?

Ignore he called the police and said “my wife took my kids and went to visit my family member. Here is the address of the house they rented”. what would happen?

The second poster here is me, the OP. It is supposed to say if, ignore is a weird autocorrect

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess the risk assessment is simply, do you think he would call the police and report it as a parental abduction? Do you think he might react in a way that creates an unsafe environment?

Ignore he called the police and said “my wife took my kids and went to visit my family member. Here is the address of the house they rented”. what would happen?

The second poster here is me, the OP. It is supposed to say if, ignore is a weird autocorrect

Do you have documentation of his severe mental illness? If the police did check on you, you could say husband has XYZ diagnosis and is delusional, etc. I think if you explained the situation, they'd probably leave you alone? You may want to consult an attorney (if you are likely to get divorced, doesn't hurt to get a head start).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess the risk assessment is simply, do you think he would call the police and report it as a parental abduction? Do you think he might react in a way that creates an unsafe environment?

Ignore he called the police and said “my wife took my kids and went to visit my family member. Here is the address of the house they rented”. what would happen?

The second poster here is me, the OP. It is supposed to say if, ignore is a weird autocorrect

Do you have documentation of his severe mental illness? If the police did check on you, you could say husband has XYZ diagnosis and is delusional, etc. I think if you explained the situation, they'd probably leave you alone? You may want to consult an attorney (if you are likely to get divorced, doesn't hurt to get a head start).

Yes actually, I could bring the paperwork from his Social Security Disability application. Having that is a good idea.