Can I take my kids on vacation against their father's wishes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here,

I have an appointment with a lawyer. I'm not really considering divorce. I married someone in sickness or in health, and he's clearly sick. But it may get to the point where it makes sense for me and my kids to live separately.

But I need a break, and my kids need a break, and this is a chance to get that. Ironically, the family member is his, not mine.

Realize that your husband may hear some sweet thing or a therapist advising divorce as the cure to all that ails him. In that case you divorce will consider you.

If his mental illness is at a point where he cannot manage his affairs, or you want to keep your money safe from him spending $250k or some huge for you amount on ... stuff, an attorney is essential, if only to have on call in case things do spiral worse for him.

Also consider that the Catholic Church permits civil divorce, but will not allow re-marriage. A civil divorce may, sadly, be the best way of protecting your property, your children, etc.

Catechism 2383: "If civil divorce remains the only possible way of ensuring certain legal rights, the care of the children, or the protection of inheritance, [then] it can be tolerated and does not constitute a moral offense."

If you're not Catholic or any form of Christian then at least consider this a moral argument.

Wow, gotta hand it to the Catholics to find a way to bend the rules to allow the money to continue to flow. “Civil divorce” sanctioned by the Church. Incredible.

[Anonymous]

It is completely legal. As long as you do not have a custody order in place you can do whatever you want. Be sure to tell him
In writing where you will be as others suggested. Also, be sure to come back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids who are traveling with one parent will be asked additional questions by Security. Both my husband and I have experienced this when we have taken our son on different trips. It was never an issue because we were fine with our son traveling with a solo parent and our son had no clue what was happening. A friend who went to Canada with her kids needed a note from her Husband to clear entry into Canada.

Security is on the look out for kids who might be abducted by a parent or close family member. Just be prepared that there might be a few other questions at the airport and that Security might want to talk to the Husband if they are not happy with the responses that the kids give. If your kids know that this trip is contested by their Dad, that could come out if Security chooses to ask more questions then just the kids names when they are going through the TSA checkpoints.

I have traveled alone with both my kids all over the world and have never been questioned by security. The closest we came was in Amsterdam when the Dutch official was bothered that our toddler still had her passport with her baby picture.

The first time I went through security solo with DS, when he was 3, they asked a few extra questions and DS was being cute and wouldn’t answer who I was. Security wouldn’t let us through until DH, who was parking the car and meeting us at the gate, came through and presented his ID. DS never did say that I was Mom or that Dad was Dad but both parents with ID ended the stall. I never was concerned, I knew DH was coming and that DS was indeed my child, but there was a bit of a delay and Managers called over. We started carrying DS passport after that because toddlers can be unpredictable.

My Dh was travelling solo with DS and the TSA guy asked DS his name, who he was traveling with and was Mom coming? DS answered everything this time, his name, Dad, and Mom was going to see her Dad in state X while DS and DH went to visit Grandma. No issues. But there were some extra questions.

My Cousin had similar questions asked when traveling internationally with his kid solo. I had a friend asked questions by Customs traveling through Canada who requested proof that the Spouse was informed, they had a letter because they had been warned it could happen. The letter had Moms number on it so Security could call.

I don’t know if it is a good thing or a bad thing that you have not had similar experiences but there have been enough personal and anecdotal experiences in our life that we cover our bases to make travel go smoothly if it is a solo parent with the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here,

I have an appointment with a lawyer. I'm not really considering divorce. I married someone in sickness or in health, and he's clearly sick. But it may get to the point where it makes sense for me and my kids to live separately.

But I need a break, and my kids need a break, and this is a chance to get that. Ironically, the family member is his, not mine.

Realize that your husband may hear some sweet thing or a therapist advising divorce as the cure to all that ails him. In that case you divorce will consider you.

If his mental illness is at a point where he cannot manage his affairs, or you want to keep your money safe from him spending $250k or some huge for you amount on ... stuff, an attorney is essential, if only to have on call in case things do spiral worse for him.

Also consider that the Catholic Church permits civil divorce, but will not allow re-marriage. A civil divorce may, sadly, be the best way of protecting your property, your children, etc.

Catechism 2383: "If civil divorce remains the only possible way of ensuring certain legal rights, the care of the children, or the protection of inheritance, [then] it can be tolerated and does not constitute a moral offense."

If you're not Catholic or any form of Christian then at least consider this a moral argument.

Wow, gotta hand it to the Catholics to find a way to bend the rules to allow the money to continue to flow. “Civil divorce” sanctioned by the Church. Incredible.

There is and has always been a difference between civil marriage/divorce by the State and the Catholic Sacrament of Marriage. Catholics need one for the State and one for the Church. The church actually doesn't care what the State does vis a vis marriage and divorce. People don't seem to understand this distinction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Technically I think this can be considered parental abduction. I would check with a lawyer.

Not abduction! They aren't even a separated couple. She can go to Mars with her own kids whenever she wants. He doesn't have to agree.

But ..he can also do that. This conversation should be about how to safely separate and get the kids out of harm's way, not a vacation really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP— you say he doesn’t want to go. But is he opposed to you and the kids going? Have you even asked?

I have asked. He does not want my kids or me to go.

Too bad! Go anyway. He has zero say in the matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Technically I think this can be considered parental abduction. I would check with a lawyer.

Nonsense. OP is going on a vacation with other family members. She is not moving or relocating permanently.

To be safe. I would make all the arrangements to go with just the kids. Then I would find (cheapest worst ) a ticket for him to go. Buy it not tell him about. So that it does come up in the divorce you can say you bought him a ticket and he refused to come.

Don’t tell him unless it comes up at divorce time. Since he’s mental anyway he probably won’t tell the difference.

[Anonymous]

If he is delusional, could this be dangerous?

Would he think the kids are at risk?

Would he call the police?

Unless you are really exagerrating his state, you need advice from a mental health professional (ideally one who knows your spouse's situation).

If he is incapable of making competent decisions, perhaps you need to seek sole guardianship? Just "taking" them, sounds off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here,

I have an appointment with a lawyer. I'm not really considering divorce. I married someone in sickness or in health, and he's clearly sick. But it may get to the point where it makes sense for me and my kids to live separately.

But I need a break, and my kids need a break, and this is a chance to get that. Ironically, the family member is his, not mine.

Realize that your husband may hear some sweet thing or a therapist advising divorce as the cure to all that ails him. In that case you divorce will consider you.

If his mental illness is at a point where he cannot manage his affairs, or you want to keep your money safe from him spending $250k or some huge for you amount on ... stuff, an attorney is essential, if only to have on call in case things do spiral worse for him.

Also consider that the Catholic Church permits civil divorce, but will not allow re-marriage. A civil divorce may, sadly, be the best way of protecting your property, your children, etc.

Catechism 2383: "If civil divorce remains the only possible way of ensuring certain legal rights, the care of the children, or the protection of inheritance, [then] it can be tolerated and does not constitute a moral offense."

If you're not Catholic or any form of Christian then at least consider this a moral argument.

Wow, gotta hand it to the Catholics to find a way to bend the rules to allow the money to continue to flow. “Civil divorce” sanctioned by the Church. Incredible.

There is and has always been a difference between civil marriage/divorce by the State and the Catholic Sacrament of Marriage. Catholics need one for the State and one for the Church. The church actually doesn't care what the State does vis a vis marriage and divorce. People don't seem to understand this distinction.

Well, they sure did care about civil marriage when we were debating gay marriage, so it’s no wonder there was confusion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Technically I think this can be considered parental abduction. I would check with a lawyer.

Nonsense. OP is going on a vacation with other family members. She is not moving or relocating permanently.

To be safe. I would make all the arrangements to go with just the kids. Then I would find (cheapest worst ) a ticket for him to go. Buy it not tell him about. So that it does come up in the divorce you can say you bought him a ticket and he refused to come.

Don’t tell him unless it comes up at divorce time. Since he’s mental anyway he probably won’t tell the difference.

This is not at all necessary. This is not parental abduction; there is nothing to worry about there. So long as there is no custody agreement stating otherwise, either parent can take the kids on vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Technically I think this can be considered parental abduction. I would check with a lawyer.

Nonsense. OP is going on a vacation with other family members. She is not moving or relocating permanently.

So she says. I would not believe a word she says and her DH should consult a lawyer and see whatv
he can do to stop her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Technically I think this can be considered parental abduction. I would check with a lawyer.

Nonsense. OP is going on a vacation with other family members. She is not moving or relocating permanently.

So she says. I would not believe a word she says and her DH should consult a lawyer and see whatv
he can do to stop her.

I can see why you might think I would lie to my husband, although I am not, but what would be the purpose of lying here?