Jen Hatmaker
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Anonymous
| Remember when Sass asked people to mail him birthday cards? Now Sis’s team is asking for birthday messages. What’s the play here? Is it literally just begging for adoration? Is this a scam to get people on a mailing list? It seems so….weird. |
Anonymous
| Why does Tyler never call her Jen Hatmaker? Can he not tolerate they she was married before? |
Anonymous
And about spending $ for the cruise instead, did those 4 “ride-or-dies” actually pay to go on this cruise or is it comped in exchange for posing for all the pics or something? I think it's for sure that the cruise line paid for Jen and a +1's cruise and probably airfare. I don't think she's reached celeb status to where thye'd fund her entire entorage of besties. Does anyone know if they all have their own rooms or are they bunking togehter? |
Anonymous
| The teeth thing seems like it's secretly Jen, Jenny or Shonna. If you look at the pics, all of the rest of them have pretty perfect teeth, and it probably bugs one of them who can't get past it in pictures of the four of them. But definitely a rich-white-woman-first-world "problem". |
Anonymous
A 50 year old woman asking strangers for birthday wishes online. Not weird at all. And how sad too. Wouldn't you think that a milestone birthday like that should be spent quietly and privately with your dear loved ones and friends, not rando cruise buddies from Bumsqueek, PA? |
Anonymous
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My Beleagureds,
Thank you, thank you, thank you for the THOUSANDS of birthday wishes. MY ADORABLE, DEAR, chocolate-covered team INSISTED on taking my phone and arranged to collect birthday well-wishes. I am still going through them. There are so many PRECIOUS messages, droolings. SO, SO, MANY. Thank you. You all know MY COMMUNITY means the world to me. #JoinMyBookClub ICYMI hop to thetrevorbarrettproject 's page and check out his darling heartfelt birthday message about me, me, me. Well, to be fair, it's mostly about him, him, him and he didn't tag me to maximize my engagement but it answers the burning question that a few of you have asked about our relationship. Obvi we're still together and stronger than ever and that post is the pudding's proof. Or something like that, all those metaphors get jumbled up in my head tra la la. That pre-trip - I am in Europe, as I'm SURE you know - root touch-up was a little strong and my scalp is blistered. I think some of the bleach might have seeped through because I feel a little confuzzled. Or maybe that's all the alcohols. #AllInclusive Also, not tagging Trevor because he didn't tag me - SO THERE, fair's fair BABY - but still mentioning him so you know I'm still with him and that he is a good, good, good man who devotes at least 30 days a year to me, closer to 45 if you count paid speaking engagements #JaneAndTrevLoveBumblesqueak In addition to you beautiful people simply FLOODING my DMs with birthday wishes, I've had so many of you ask about my birthday lewk, so I'll link it for you in stories. That said, the most important thing to remember, bewildereds, is not everyone can pull off a dress with feathers and a pleather belt, and if you're one of the few that can, make sure you're surrounded by a squad willing to don print mumus or other shapeless clothing so you look extra seggsy. #RideOrDies <fire emoji fire emoji fire emoji> Everyone on board LOVED the dress. Check out that elder gentleman in the background raising his glass to me. SUCH AN INSPIRATIONAL AND HUMBLING moment for the both of us. All the DEAR, DEAR workers on board the Babylon Shill of the Waterways - that's the name of this DARLING vessel giving my GANG and I a ride to all these quaint, quaint, quaint towns - LOVE ME SO MUCH. Look carefully at the shot of me blowing out the candle on my birthday cake - COLOR ME SURPRISED, squee! - and just check out the adoring expressions on the server's faces. I can't even stand it. So much love. I'm here to tell you that my 50s are THE BEST, THE MOST INSANE, MOST BEAUTIFUL part of my life. Sure, it's only been like a day but rest assured, my 50s are going to be WAY BETTER than your 50s because....well, I am, after all, Jane Capsticher. and I'm bringing the bumpit back - link in stories. Link to my feather pleather look, too. Not to be confused with my publicist who is also Pleather. I have SO MANY PEOPLE on my team, you know. I'm beyond blessed, droolings, but you already knew that because I remind you often. Tag your people who have ever had a birthday. I'd love MY COMMUNITY to be all in on this important convo about ME. I have to dash now, dewdroplets, but I'll be back with those other links EVERYONE has been asking about, like my jammies at the DJ PJ dance party. They are every damn thing and you need them. |
Anonymous
The thing is, Meg is front and center of all the selfies, and those teeth are the first thing you see and you have to look past them to see Jen making her dumb mouth shapes. |
Anonymous
| Tiny teeth girl does have big fake eyelashes though |
Anonymous
Lol, so it seems we've narrowed it down to Jenny or Shonna. |
Anonymous
| Ok photo of the gals on the river- Jen is the only one with decent sunglasses. What is it with all the ugly , oversized sunglasses? |
Anonymous
There are so many she probably finds the task overwhelming. |
Anonymous
Yeah, really shows how insecure he is. |
Anonymous
| Check out that elder gentleman in the background raising his glass to me. SUCH AN INSPIRATIONAL AND HUMBLING moment for the both of us. |
Anonymous
| The Chronicles of Jane Capstitcher are truly hilarious. |
Anonymous
I no longer follow her on FB because I didn't want her to have the follow so whenever I want to see her page and I type her name in the FB searchbar the first post that comes up is her one of her professing her undying love to Brando. I don't think it would be that big of a lift to scrub her socials of him. For most people, that's the first thing they do after a breakup/divorce. There must be something she's still holding on to there. |