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Found out my DH has been cheating on me for about 6 months. We angry at first until I realized I don’t even actually care. I’m not happy he hid it from me but otherwise I don’t feel any jealousy or betrayal.
Our relationship has been pretty much platonic for the past decade. We got married very young and has our kids pretty quickly. Last time we had sex was when we conceived our now 6-year-old and we were drunk when that happened anyways. Neither of us ever initiated sex much before and after his birth we rarely even kissed. I half thought my husband was asexual until finding out about the affair and part of me is like, “good for him.” If he wants a sexual or romantic relationship he deserves it. I love and adore my husband. He’s a great man, a great father and a great person to coexist with, honestly. We kind of discussed it and both are on the same page. Neither of us want to break up our household unit. We’re happy living in our house together and raising our kids together. We like our financial situation as a married couple as well. Has anyone ever successfully had an open marriage where you aren’t intimate with your spouse? Basically we exist as a married couple, we raise our kids, I do his laundry, he pays the bills, we take turns cooking and cleaning but we can finally just admit the intimate/romantic part of our relationship doesn’t exist and seek that elsewhere? I know this would involve a lot of communication and some major rules (everything is done outside the house, no third parties around our kids etc…). But if he wants to spend an extra hour after work having sex with his attractive coworker and she’s aware of the situation have at it. Whatever makes you happy. I’m kind of excited at the prospect of exploring my sexuality for myself in all honestly. I think I’ve repressed the fact that I’m a lesbian for forever and now can kind of admit it. Thoughts? |
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Good for you if both of you are 100% on board and transparent.
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| What happens when his sidepiece wants a ring and make it legit? |
| Do you have a job that earns a living income? |
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Are you okay if he goes away for the weekend or takes her out to dinner?
I'm baffled. But, I married for love and we still always have sex, even at 22 years later. But, I don't see how anyone could be okay while spouse was wining and dining someone else. And, what about your kid? At some point he is going to find out. |
This. |
Or when you’re with someone wants more ? And what happens when kids ask questions? |
Or she gets pregnant.... |
| Define short term? |
| I had a simliar situation--no sex for many years and not planned pregnancy (without cheating). He would not agree to an open marriage. We divorced. It's fine. I feel so much better than being married. |
I just posted. I could have cared less...I would have agreed to stay married in this situation but he did not want to. I truly really did not care...for a decade. Not all marriages are the same. |
I guess the situation wouldn’t work anymore. For now he’s wanting to stay married and life as we’re living but carry on the affair (which I guess now isn’t an affair). He could very well change his mind. |
| Split now. It's pretty much inevitable and it will be harder when the kids are older. |
We both have decent jobs. He makes about 25k more than I do but my schedule is much more flexible and has better benefits. |
Till our kids graduate and move out. Which I guess isn’t as short term. |