Couple Friends Don’t Want Kids
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| The other thread got me thinking. I have a couple friend who are successful, financially stable, and in a good healthy marriage. They don’t want kids. The rest of our group does, and we always assumed they would have kids, but they are happy without them. When asked, they always list reasons why they don’t want kids or simply they just didn’t want them. They can easily afford kids and childcare. It seems very unnatural to me as a woman to not want kids. I went back and forth for a little bit and it felt weird picturing my life without kids. I wonder if she is truly happy. I worry they will get bored and have no one else to love. Anyone else have childless friends like this? |
Anonymous
|
I am that friend. Trust me, I'm fine with my decision.
|
Anonymous
| The 1950s called. They said "Get over it Dorothy". |
Anonymous
| I have kids and love it, but it’s hard! I don’t care what anyone else chooses, it’s not up to you to decide what makes someone else happy or fulfilled. |
Anonymous
| Do you have children, OP? The best thing about friends without children is that once you've put your kids to bed, you can have them over to dinner. They are flexible, they don't need child care, they actually have the time and energy to do things with you that friends with children might not have until 20 years from now. Don't worry too much. |
Anonymous
| Yes I have friends like this. They’re totally normal people. |
Anonymous
| Having kids isn’t for everyone. I always wanted kids and now have 2. But I can definitely understand why someone else wouldn’t want them. |
Anonymous
+1, ours are our best couple friends. They love our kid and happy to play aunt and uncle. |
Anonymous
|
OP, why are you so invested in whether other people have children?
I have two young adult children and neither of them wants kids. I must say that given the state of the world today, I don't blame them. Covid, climate change, income inequality, the high cost of healthcare, childcare, housing, and education - the list goes on. Who wants to bring a child into this mess? |
Anonymous
+1 OP sounds ... sheltered. |
Anonymous
Individuals or couples without children actually outnumber families with under-age kids 3-to-1 in this country. 
68% of the adult population in this country does not have kids. In other words - childfree/less couples are not the weird ones. OP is. 
|
Anonymous
| Oh, good lord. Speechless. |
Anonymous
|
Most of my friends are childless, some by choice and some not. I was by choice for a long time, now happily the mom of an only.
Please don't ask them about it. It's normal but it's also complex and emotionally layered. You don't know who just doesn't want kids and who has an abusive past and who would want kids but their spouse doesn't and they've decided to stay. Regardless, they don't have to explain it to you, and they are probably sick of explaining it to family and others who do ask. |
Anonymous
|
It simply comes down to understanding that not everyone feels or thinks the same way as you do regarding children. There are, and will be, many couples that choose not to have children. They lead/will lead happy and fulfilled lives according to their definition, and not that of societal conventions.
Think of it like this - the same degree to which you feel your life will be weird WITHOUT children is the same degree to which your friends would feel WITH children in their lives. Happiness and a good life are not predicated on ticking off the traditional boxes - lucrative/prestigious career, marriage, homeownership, children, exotic vacations, comfortable retirement in a desirable area, etc. Everyone has their own version of what makes for a happy, successful, fulfilled life. Live yours and let them live theirs without judgement. The world is a more pleasant place to live in when you put forth this mindset. |
Anonymous
| OP, do you have kids yet? |