Couple Friends Don’t Want Kids

[Anonymous]

Its irresponsible to have kids with climate change and the environmental disasters looming, .

Don't have kids and you won't have to worry about them dying of a horrible death due to crime, racism, diseases, climate change, war, poverty. Or worse still, your kids will not be kidnapped, abused and trafficked.

See? How easy it is not to have kids?

[Anonymous]

I am what you describe. My husband and I were on the fence with having kids. We decided against it when we realized we didn’t have a strong desire to have kids. We have a very fulfilling life. We have more time for our careers and each other. We travel extensively, go out when we we want, and our sex life is amazing. We don’t have to deal with things our friends with kids do. No worry about scheduling around them, worry about childcare, no kids to wake us up during the night or early in the morning, etc. I can come home from work and not worry about having to feed, play, and get kids to bed. I don’t have to worry about tantrums. We love our nephews and nieces but the greatest thing is we can give them back when they get fussy or start throwing a tantrum. I think kids would have brought joy to our lives, but we are really glad we decided not to have any. The selfish thing is having them when you know you don’t want them.

[Anonymous]

When you have a whole group of young adults who still act like babies, why have more babies?

[Anonymous]

I don't care if my friends have kids or not. Hold on to your friends, they are priceless.

[Anonymous]

Just because they don't want kids, doesn't mean they ultimately won't end up having kids due to social pressure or failed birth control.

And just because you want kids doesn't mean you will be able to have them.

One of my friends who didn't want kids found out she was accidentally pregnant and she had the baby; my dh and I wanted kids,.tried for years, and could never get pregnant. We're all in our 50s now.

You really don't know how all this will play out, despite your best intentions and planning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am what you describe. My husband and I were on the fence with having kids. We decided against it when we realized we didn’t have a strong desire to have kids. We have a very fulfilling life. We have more time for our careers and each other. We travel extensively, go out when we we want, and our sex life is amazing. We don’t have to deal with things our friends with kids do. No worry about scheduling around them, worry about childcare, no kids to wake us up during the night or early in the morning, etc. I can come home from work and not worry about having to feed, play, and get kids to bed. I don’t have to worry about tantrums. We love our nephews and nieces but the greatest thing is we can give them back when they get fussy or start throwing a tantrum. I think kids would have brought joy to our lives, but we are really glad we decided not to have any. The selfish thing is having them when you know you don’t want them.

I agree with you. But I wanted them and I adore them. My youngest just started walking and it will be hell for awhile!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you have a whole group of young adults who still act like babies, why have more babies?

That’s how I felt about young adults in the 80s.

[Anonymous]

Just don’t decide you want kids at 45.

[Anonymous]

You sound crazy + very judgemental to me OP. I grew up with 8 kids in my family. I never wanted kids but had one by accident. I did not have an abortion because I am Catholic. I have the greatest kid in the universe, but am not naturally 'maternal'.

Are you from a family with strict gender roles? Why in the world do you think your friends should have kids? It is none of your business!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes I have friends like this. They’re totally normal people.

Individuals or couples without children actually outnumber families with under-age kids 3-to-1 in this country.

68% of the adult population in this country does not have kids.

In other words - childfree/less couples are not the weird ones. OP is.

I think the original question is kind of ridiculous, but this pie graph does not indicate couples who have children no longer in the household, so no this is not an accurate picture of what you're trying to convey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just because they don't want kids, doesn't mean they ultimately won't end up having kids due to social pressure or failed birth control.

And just because you want kids doesn't mean you will be able to have them.

One of my friends who didn't want kids found out she was accidentally pregnant and she had the baby; my dh and I wanted kids,.tried for years, and could never get pregnant. We're all in our 50s now.

You really don't know how all this will play out, despite your best intentions and planning.

Seriously? You absolutely can plan to be childfree and remain that way. Sterilization surgery exists for a reason. I made the choice to not have children and there is zero circumstance in which that changes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I definitely understand not wanting kids. However, "it's hard" is not a good reason for not doing it, IMO (the one many commenters cite). The most meaningful experiences in life come from attempting and achieving hard things. I don't think having a frictionless and uncomplicated life actually makes people happy.

Ridiculous comment….so how is it that so many parents of adrift teenagers get so anguished? You don’t get to dictate what someone else should do with their uterus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just because they don't want kids, doesn't mean they ultimately won't end up having kids due to social pressure or failed birth control.

And just because you want kids doesn't mean you will be able to have them.

One of my friends who didn't want kids found out she was accidentally pregnant and she had the baby; my dh and I wanted kids,.tried for years, and could never get pregnant. We're all in our 50s now.

You really don't know how all this will play out, despite your best intentions and planning.

Same here. My friend tried to have her tubes tied that's how much she didn't want kids, and no doctor would do it. Now she has a kid and loves that kid to death but it wasn't planned.

[Anonymous]

The term is childfree when describing those who have chosen not to have children. I am not childless- I am not lacking anything, I have chosen not to have children. Please stop saying childless.

It is very frustrating when people say “oh; you’ll change your mind!” Next time a parent says that to me I’m planning to throw it back at them and see how they like it. What if you change your mind one day and don’t want your kid anymore?

Childfree makes sense for so many reasons- my health issues, financial, environment, many more. I think if people want to have kids and be loving, responsible parents that’s great. Not everyone needs to have kids. Please respect us.

[Anonymous]

Why we don’t want to have kids:

The world is broken.