Couple Friends Don’t Want Kids

[Anonymous]

Good parenting is one of the hardest yet most rewarding jobs on the planet but it’s not for everyone. There are plenty of jobs where you can get a B rating and do nicely but parenting isn’t one of them. Both spouses must be all in to make it really work because the ramifications of a half ass effort are awful. The joys of doing a good job are extraordinary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Given the number of screwed up kids in this country many more parents should have remained childless.

Probably about 90% of them including the parents who think they are or have done it right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good parenting is one of the hardest yet most rewarding jobs on the planet but it’s not for everyone. There are plenty of jobs where you can get a B rating and do nicely but parenting isn’t one of them. Both spouses must be all in to make it really work because the ramifications of a half ass effort are awful. The joys of doing a good job are extraordinary.

You absolutely can.

What is true of parenting is you can get an A rating and still have a screwed-up kid.

[Anonymous]

i don't blame people for not wanting kids. It's become too much of a copetive sport instead of becoming a parent you now engage in parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good parenting is one of the hardest yet most rewarding jobs on the planet but it’s not for everyone. There are plenty of jobs where you can get a B rating and do nicely but parenting isn’t one of them. Both spouses must be all in to make it really work because the ramifications of a half ass effort are awful. The joys of doing a good job are extraordinary.

You absolutely can.

What is true of parenting is you can get an A rating and still have a screwed-up kid.

+1 You can do everything right and things can still turn out wrong.

Parenting is hard but I have to disagree about the rewarding part. My kids are little but I don't see any of these rewards people allude to...and I don't expect I will. It's work. Some people like it. Some people don't. I am a good parent because I love them and it is my obligation, but to me, it is not rewarding. A huge fear of mine is that they won't turn out right despite doing everything "right." It is the hardest yet most unrewarding job there is.

[Anonymous]

I'm a parent but I do honestly think having a kid tends.to be the more selfish choice. What other project do you do that your friends and family and the government give you help with?

I also have a pretty grim view because I did an internship with a social worker and had to read about child abuse cases, but jeez, so much better to not have kids than to have kids and mistreat them. What I really see as unfathomable is people who hurt their kids.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I am one of those friends that don’t have or want kids. What does it matter to you if your friends don’t want kids? Does it hurt you in any way? They don’t need to explain themselves. So they don’t want kids, BFD.
Next…

[Anonymous]

Mind your own business. At least they’re on the same page about it- it’s much worse when one person wants kids and the other doesnt. Some people don’t feel the urge to have kids, and/or had complicated dynamics with their own parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The other thread got me thinking. I have a couple friend who are successful, financially stable, and in a good healthy marriage. They don’t want kids. The rest of our group does, and we always assumed they would have kids, but they are happy without them. When asked, they always list reasons why they don’t want kids or simply they just didn’t want them. They can easily afford kids and childcare. It seems very unnatural to me as a woman to not want kids. I went back and forth for a little bit and it felt weird picturing my life without kids. I wonder if she is truly happy. I worry they will get bored and have no one else to love. Anyone else have childless friends like this?

They should have children they don't want so you can feel better about your choices?

[Anonymous]

Good for your friends. They are us 25 years ago, now happy and never regretted not having kids.

The implied judgements of those who choose no kids are so unattractive.

[Anonymous]

OP you are so gross. Child free is very normal. I have three kids but I love and respect my child free friends. You’re so close minded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I definitely understand not wanting kids. However, "it's hard" is not a good reason for not doing it, IMO (the one many commenters cite). The most meaningful experiences in life come from attempting and achieving hard things. I don't think having a frictionless and uncomplicated life actually makes people happy.

So you think if you don’t have kids your life is frictionless and uncomplicated? What a narrow worldview.

-A Mom

[Anonymous]

Childfree is totally fine...I just wish everyone who was childless by choice would stop talking about how superior they are for the environment.

[Anonymous]

I have three kids and cannot imagine caring what someone else is doing with their life in this way. MYOB OP. Be happy that they are so sure in their choices, indecisiveness is the root of a lot of suffering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I rented a remote cabin in the mountains this past weekend and spent the entire time discussing our hopes, dreams, goals, etc. By the end of the weekend, we concluded that we don’t want to have children. Now we just need to figure out how to tell them.

Old joke but a good one!

Haha I was thinking of putting mine up for adoption when they turned two.