16 year old girl, curfew and dating.
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Anonymous
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All of a sudden I have to make decisions about these things!
My daughter and friends are hanging with boys that can drive. It’s definitely a huge change having to worry about this. How late do you Let them stay out? |
Anonymous
You shouldn't there's still a pandemic going on |
Anonymous
You might want to pick her up at the end of the evening anytime you think drinking may be happening. Offer frequently to do so, no question asked. Now. . . Curfew really depends. We’re an early to bed, early to rise family, so I’d say 11:00pm absent some special event that warrants a later night. |
Anonymous
Agree with the above. Offer to drive and then don’t talk while you do! My 16-yr old DD and her friends have licenses but can’t drive other kids for 6 months, so this hasn’t come up very often. I drive a group or they drive separately. I also mention often that I will drive her and friends home safely, no questions asked, if they have been drinking. My mom did the same and I never even considered driving after drinking. |
Anonymous
You have to make decisions about whether you want to allow other teenagers to drive your daughter. "In a study analyzed by NHTSA, teen drivers were two-and-a-half times more likely to engage in one or more potentially risky behaviors when driving with one teenage peer, compared to when driving alone. According to the same study analyzed by NHTSA, the likelihood of teen drivers engaging in one or more risky behaviors when traveling with multiple passengers increased to three times compared to when driving alone. In fact, research shows that the risk of a fatal crash goes up in direct relation to the number of teenagers in the car." https://www.nhtsa.gov/road-safety/teen-driving I have not allowed my 18-year-old to drive her friends or be driven by her friends, and many of her friends have the same rule. |
Anonymous
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Are you in VA? https://www.dmv.virginia.gov/drivers/#restrictions.asp Curfew Restrictions If you are under age 18, Virginia law prohibits you from driving midnight to 4 A.M. except when driving: to or from a place of business where you are employed; to or from an activity that is supervised by an adult and is sponsored by a school or by a civic, religious, or public organization; with a licensed spouse age 18 or older, parent or other adult acting in loco parentis who is occupying the front passenger seat, in case of an emergency, including responding to emergency calls as a volunteer firefighter or rescue squad personnel. Restrictions on the Number of Passengers If you are under age 18, you may carry only one passenger under age 21, unless accompanied by a licensed parent, or other adult acting in place of a parent, in the front passenger seat. However, after you have held your license for one year, you may carry up to three passengers under age 21 in the following situations: Travel to and from a school-sponsored activity; A licensed driver 21 or older is in the front passenger seat; or In case of an emergency. Learner's permit holders may not carry more than one passenger under age 18. (Passenger restrictions do not apply to family members) Violations of either the curfew or passenger restrictions can result in the suspension of your driver's license. Cellular Telephone/Wireless Telecommunications Device Restrictions Virginia's cellular telephone law prohibits the use of cell phones while driving, regardless of whether such device is or is not hand-held. You can only use a cell phone or any other telecommunications device for a driver emergency and the vehicle must be lawfully parked or stopped. |
Anonymous
My daughter goes out but: Midnight if it's a party. Otherwise 10pm curfew. No driving around with boys. I do the carpooling. |
Anonymous
| thanks everyone, I feel like I'm the only parent who asks questions. |
Anonymous
I feel the same way but when I talk to other parents I realize I'm not the only one. I'm sure your daughter tells you that you're the only parent asking questions. Really? LOL. |
Anonymous
| I'm not big on curfews. I think it's better to have a good idea where they are going and ask them to come home at a time that is based on that. |
Anonymous
| I don’t care if she goes out but we’re driving. |
Anonymous
| I just want to say that when my parents gave bogus curfews like 10pm, I just "spent the night with girlfriends". It wasn't the safest and sometimes I really didn't have a place to stay. |
Anonymous
And have a code word your child (girl or boy) can text if they're ever in any uncomfortable situation. It's only happened a couple of times with three kids but if I see the code I call and tell DC I'm headed to pick them up. Grts them out of the situation because Mom calls and wants them home |
Anonymous
I know I'll be slammed for this given DCUM, but we never let dc's sleep over at friends when young and now they know not to ask. Makes me feel so. much. better. about them going to parties, etc. I also wait up when they come home (not always, but sometimes) to assess the situation. My dd's friend lets her sleep over at our house, but every single time she's done so, I've gotten a text from the mom 'thanking me for having her' which I think is her way of making sure she is actually staying over. |
Anonymous
| It's easiest to set very (overly) strict guidelines at first and then loosen them later than to do the opposite. |