Son plays much better at the park than in travel

[Anonymous]

My 14 year old son is on the second to bottom level travel team in his club. He's just mediocre, his better sport is baseball, but he doesn't enjoy it as much. We can afford to pay for travel anyway, so since he loves it, that's fine.

DH and I have started jogging in the local park where DS plays pickup soccer games, and we have noticed that he plays much, much better in these games than travel. He is more relaxed and looser, and his shot seems better. Not only that, he runs faster in these pickup games, and is more aggressive. DH mentioned the kids he is playing against at the park are not as good as his travel opponents, and that is likely a factor, but my son is also noticably different. What gives? He's had a series of different travel coaches, most of whom have been fine. Why does he play better at the free soccer in the park than the soccer with a professional coach that we pay $2K a year for? I don't deeply care, but I do find it weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 14 year old son is on the second to bottom level travel team in his club. He's just mediocre, his better sport is baseball, but he doesn't enjoy it as much. We can afford to pay for travel anyway, so since he loves it, that's fine.

DH and I have started jogging in the local park where DS plays pickup soccer games, and we have noticed that he plays much, much better in these games than travel. He is more relaxed and looser, and his shot seems better. Not only that, he runs faster in these pickup games, and is more aggressive. DH mentioned the kids he is playing against at the park are not as good as his travel opponents, and that is likely a factor, but my son is also noticably different. What gives? He's had a series of different travel coaches, most of whom have been fine. Why does he play better at the free soccer in the park than the soccer with a professional coach that we pay $2K a year for? I don't deeply care, but I do find it weird.

Well I think your husband answered this for you...the kids in the park aren't as good as his travel teammates and opponents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 14 year old son is on the second to bottom level travel team in his club. He's just mediocre, his better sport is baseball, but he doesn't enjoy it as much. We can afford to pay for travel anyway, so since he loves it, that's fine.

DH and I have started jogging in the local park where DS plays pickup soccer games, and we have noticed that he plays much, much better in these games than travel. He is more relaxed and looser, and his shot seems better. Not only that, he runs faster in these pickup games, and is more aggressive. DH mentioned the kids he is playing against at the park are not as good as his travel opponents, and that is likely a factor, but my son is also noticably different. What gives? He's had a series of different travel coaches, most of whom have been fine. Why does he play better at the free soccer in the park than the soccer with a professional coach that we pay $2K a year for? I don't deeply care, but I do find it weird.

Travel soccer is about pressure to preform, risk adverse play and being evaluated all the time. There is little time to just “play”. While he is most likely a better athlete and trained to a higher level vs the park kids it is an important part of development to just “play”. Most travel parent get excited talking about how their kid played up against 2-3 years older but not look down when the same kids player with younger kids. In the younger kids game the kid was trying out things he would never do at travel.

[Anonymous]

Bottom line is that he looks better because he is playing against worse kids. It is as simple as that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bottom line is that he looks better because he is playing against worse kids. It is as simple as that.

And that's where he is feeling confident. Competing with peers or those above your level confidence plays a bigger role than most realize. Most naturally have enough to compete on level. Some have enough to overcome deficiencies in physical aspects. Confidence is a skill that can be learned. So dont feel like its over. Find some books on sports psychology and try some mental exercise with him. What do you have to lose?

[Anonymous]

Bottom line is that he looks better because he is playing against worse kids. It is as simple as that.


And that's where he is feeling confident. Competing with peers or those above your level confidence plays a bigger role than most realize. Most naturally have enough to compete on level. Some have enough to overcome deficiencies in physical aspects. Confidence is a skill that can be learned. So dont feel like its over. Find some books on sports psychology and try some mental exercise with him. What do you have to lose?

That makes sense. He clearly does have a lot of anxiety when playing travel, he has a little physical movement that he does with his hand whenever he is nervous (like public speaking) and he does it all the time during travel games. It's not noticable to most, but since I am his mom, I definitely see it.

[Anonymous]

It's probably his teammates.

At that age the boys are much too self aware and know they are on the bottom or second to bottom team. They may not care enough and a player may not want to show like he is trying too hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's probably his teammates.

At that age the boys are much too self aware and know they are on the bottom or second to bottom team. They may not care enough and a player may not want to show like he is trying too hard.

I would think those kids would be working even harder with a chip on their shoulder. They have more to gain and more to motivate them.

[Anonymous]

My kid always loved soccer and is athletic but not gifted player. He got his confidence crushed and started to play way below his capability on his travel team. Rather than give it up I got him a trainer bi-weekly and it gave him the confidence he needed to start loving the game again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Bottom line is that he looks better because he is playing against worse kids. It is as simple as that.


And that's where he is feeling confident. Competing with peers or those above your level confidence plays a bigger role than most realize. Most naturally have enough to compete on level. Some have enough to overcome deficiencies in physical aspects. Confidence is a skill that can be learned. So dont feel like its over. Find some books on sports psychology and try some mental exercise with him. What do you have to lose?

That makes sense. He clearly does have a lot of anxiety when playing travel, he has a little physical movement that he does with his hand whenever he is nervous (like public speaking) and he does it all the time during travel games. It's not noticable to most, but since I am his mom, I definitely see it.

Been through this with my kid and was definitely a lot about confidence. Extra training and a fresh start with a new team have really helped

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Bottom line is that he looks better because he is playing against worse kids. It is as simple as that.


And that's where he is feeling confident. Competing with peers or those above your level confidence plays a bigger role than most realize. Most naturally have enough to compete on level. Some have enough to overcome deficiencies in physical aspects. Confidence is a skill that can be learned. So dont feel like its over. Find some books on sports psychology and try some mental exercise with him. What do you have to lose?

That makes sense. He clearly does have a lot of anxiety when playing travel, he has a little physical movement that he does with his hand whenever he is nervous (like public speaking) and he does it all the time during travel games. It's not noticable to most, but since I am his mom, I definitely see it.

This sounds like my son. He is afraid of “messing up”. It’s not just in soccer. School too. What are some ways to build confidence in a 14 year old boy? He is small for his age which I know he is self conscious about although he did grow 4 inches last year (still smaller than most)

[Anonymous]

My son is ex-DA who started playing rec with his friends just to stay fit. Of course he was stronger than the players he was playing against, but he was also playing with a smile in the games because he didn't really care about the score and his teammates were out to have fun rather than fighting for that 1/4 share of a scholarship at some school.

[Anonymous]

I have three boys in travel and have been watching youth soccer for a long time. Certainly the PPs are right that because he is relatively better compared to the other players in the park, he looks better to you, feels better, and plays with more confidence.

To break it down further, my guess is that it has to do with the speed of play. I see the same discrepancy often when a star from the B team moves to the A team and looks totally lost. So often, the problem is adjusting to the speed of play. The same kid can look like a genius if he has time to look up, or time to take an extra touch, or time to make a decision OR look totally helpless if the speed of play is relatively faster. On the other hand, a less skilled kid who can make quick decisions might adjust much more easily.

I think strong defenses and fast play are two huge factors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have three boys in travel and have been watching youth soccer for a long time. Certainly the PPs are right that because he is relatively better compared to the other players in the park, he looks better to you, feels better, and plays with more confidence.

To break it down further, my guess is that it has to do with the speed of play. I see the same discrepancy often when a star from the B team moves to the A team and looks totally lost. So often, the problem is adjusting to the speed of play. The same kid can look like a genius if he has time to look up, or time to take an extra touch, or time to make a decision OR look totally helpless if the speed of play is relatively faster. On the other hand, a less skilled kid who can make quick decisions might adjust much more easily.

I think strong defenses and fast play are two huge factors.

This post is right on the money. My son plays tennis for the university of Michigan and he looks really good against recreational players. Against professional tennis players, he looks like a complete amateur. It has to do with the speed of play and the skill of the opponent, simple as that.

[Anonymous]

It's because he's a kid and having fun.