Son plays much better at the park than in travel

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's because he's a kid and having fun.

OP said he's 14 that makes him a U15 at minimum. Um he's no longer a kid. Time to grow up snowflake.

[Anonymous]

It’s because he isn’t feeling the pressure and can actually enjoy the game. My kid played Classic for two years and progressively got worse as their teammates improved. They lost the love of the game. Went back to Rec and the joy for the game came back. They ran faster, scored more goals, and smiled more. The pressure didn’t work for them. Maybe it’s the same for your kid? Travel isn’t for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's because he's a kid and having fun.

OP said he's 14 that makes him a U15 at minimum. Um he's no longer a kid. Time to grow up snowflake.

Last time I checked you were a kid til you turn 18. Teens are kids and should get to be kids. I don't get adults forcing them to grow up so fast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's because he's a kid and having fun.

OP said he's 14 that makes him a U15 at minimum. Um he's no longer a kid. Time to grow up snowflake.

Last time I checked you were a kid til you turn 18. Teens are kids and should get to be kids. I don't get adults forcing them to grow up so fast.

There is a difference between forcing and allowing. Just saying when I was 14 I was going to park on my own not with my parents watching me play pickup. HS parties on the weekend were the norm. For everyone from athletes to stoners. Nowadays there are way too many helicopter parents hovering over their kids til the leave for college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Bottom line is that he looks better because he is playing against worse kids. It is as simple as that.


And that's where he is feeling confident. Competing with peers or those above your level confidence plays a bigger role than most realize. Most naturally have enough to compete on level. Some have enough to overcome deficiencies in physical aspects. Confidence is a skill that can be learned. So dont feel like its over. Find some books on sports psychology and try some mental exercise with him. What do you have to lose?

That makes sense. He clearly does have a lot of anxiety when playing travel, he has a little physical movement that he does with his hand whenever he is nervous (like public speaking) and he does it all the time during travel games. It's not noticable to most, but since I am his mom, I definitely see it.

This is likely a tic and my son does it too. He did it alot for 2 months during his first time playing futsal a couple years ago. Now its just once or twice at the start of an intense game. I never mention it so that I dont raise his anxiety but he tells me he's not nervous so I leave it alone.

[Anonymous]

OP, my son is the same.

He places better in practice, successfully challenging the best players on his team. In games, he gets nervous, because he's perfectionistic and the costs of making an error is high. His teammates are cruel to one another when they make mistakes. This is something the coach encourages. It means the boys who are the most arrogant and the ones who have nerves of steel are the team stars.

[Anonymous]

If this kid is on something like the 5th out of 6 travel teams at his club, I wouldn't assume the kids at the park are worse players than the other terrible travel teams his 5th team is playing.

It is probably because he doesn't have stress/pressure/performance anxiety/coach joysticking/sideline parents screaming etc.

[Anonymous]

Why are you stalking your kid when he is at the park? That's weird and creepy. Give him some freaking space.

[Anonymous]

Our park has good players playing pickup. I wouldnt assume a kid on a low level travel team was much, if at all, better.

[Anonymous]

At our club, anyone can make the lower teams. So i doubt there is much talent difference between the kid and the other park players.

[Anonymous]

1) the players arent as skilled or as fast
2) he has more time and space to play in than his practices
3) with more time and space, he can make better decisions and use his skills
4) his confidence gets higher, so he takes more risks and experiments with things he wouldn't normally do in practice
5) he probably has some success in his risk-taking, so his enthusiasm grows and he's having fun. If he makes a mistake in park pickup and gives the ball away, he's not immediately punished for it by the other team counter-attacking direct to goal.

I'd say let him keep playing. It sounds like hes having more fun doing this than playing on his normal team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's because he's a kid and having fun.

+1. This right here. Travel is not for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's because he's a kid and having fun.

+1. This right here. Travel is not for everyone.

Unfortunately these days it appears travel is for anyone willing to pay. Its taken away from the notion that the better kids can compete against each other in a competitive environment. Now any kid who wants to play or who's parents want them to play is accepted. When one of those kids struggles or the parents see the talent gap. They want to ask why and what can I do to make my kid better. When in fact it has to come from the kid first. If they want it they will work for it. Some kids can work 10x harder than the better kids but never reach the same results. That is the reason travel should not be for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, my son is the same.

He places better in practice, successfully challenging the best players on his team. In games, he gets nervous, because he's perfectionistic and the costs of making an error is high. His teammates are cruel to one another when they make mistakes. This is something the coach encourages. It means the boys who are the most arrogant and the ones who have nerves of steel are the team stars.

I wouldn't be super excited to spend $3k a year on that

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately these days it appears travel is for anyone willing to pay. Its taken away from the notion that the better kids can compete against each other in a competitive environment. Now any kid who wants to play or who's parents want them to play is accepted. When one of those kids struggles or the parents see the talent gap. They want to ask why and what can I do to make my kid better. When in fact it has to come from the kid first. If they want it they will work for it. Some kids can work 10x harder than the better kids but never reach the same results. That is the reason travel should not be for everyone.

You understand that there are leagues and divisions within leagues to make sure kids are appropriately matched against opponents in travel, right? So they are not throwing 4th-team level kids who can pay into games with top-team level kids. Why does it bother you that people who can afford it whose kids want to improve have an option to play travel against other similar kids?