If your 18+ dc is rebellious, what bills of theirs do you pay?

[Anonymous]

Phone? Insurance? Tuition?

[Anonymous]

Define rebellious

[Anonymous]

Depends on whether they’re still in HS. If so, only car insurance, but there’s no use of the car as it isn’t a necessity. If in college, only tuition assuming they’re actually going to classes. Phone, gas, extras are on the kid. Basically you should only be paying the bare minimum.

[Anonymous]

It depends on their specific actions, OP. My teen and tween never disagree with me without clearly expressed and reasonable arguments, so for the moment I don't see myself restricting anything they currently have access to.

[Anonymous]

Rebellious as in not agreeing to a curfew or taking the car without permission and getting a DUI?

1st situation- non issue and I would not cut off financially. It’s more about respecting others in the house when they come home and not wake us up.

2nd situation- they need to pay for their own insurance

We need more info, OP.

[Anonymous]

High school? College? Neither? It matters muchly.

As does your definition of rebellious.

A kid who has graduated from high school, is not going to college or trade school, is unwilling to find a job, and who doesn't follow basic house rules? You get nothing paid, and I'm charging you rent. I'm not above kicking you out after a year or so with no movement.

A high school student who got caught drinking at a party? This would have no effect on my monetary outlays.

[Anonymous]

Rebellious as in doing drugs, staying out all night and not working or going to college? Would stop paying as much as you can, including phone and car. Would pay for housing, food and drug treatment.

Rebellious as in having a job / going to college but also staying out too late, having sex, not going to church and occasional recreational drug use without driving afterwards? I would pay, as this is typical young adult behavior.

[Anonymous]

Too often, at the 11th hour, a parent decides their kid it's "worthy" of college. It's "ready". Something. Truth is the parent never really had enough $ set aside for college, but they want to blame the kid. Or they don't want to pay and never were honest about it.

So for this reason, without more and better information --- YES you owe them tuition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Too often, at the 11th hour, a parent decides their kid it's "worthy" of college. It's "ready". Something. Truth is the parent never really had enough $ set aside for college, but they want to blame the kid. Or they don't want to pay and never were honest about it.

So for this reason, without more and better information --- YES you owe them tuition

Not OP, but if the parent doesn’t have the money, no they don’t.

[Anonymous]

Phone, groceries and a free bed at our house. That’s it.

[Anonymous]

I do not pay bills for adults. They pay their own bills. At 18, my kids would be roasted by their siblings if they needed "mommy" to help them. Not my job to provide for adults. I have my own life to live. I raise my kids to be able to hit the ground running at 18, and it is also their responsibility to pay for college, should they decide to go. Their lives, their decisions. Good luck, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not pay bills for adults. They pay their own bills. At 18, my kids would be roasted by their siblings if they needed "mommy" to help them. Not my job to provide for adults. I have my own life to live. I raise my kids to be able to hit the ground running at 18, and it is also their responsibility to pay for college, should they decide to go. Their lives, their decisions. Good luck, OP.

How did your kids pay for college then? My parents had this attitude but since they had a high income the result was I lived in unsafe situations because I had to work and spend all the money I made on tuition, because I couldn’t get loans due to their income. Also I shoplifted food fairly often. Hit the ground running I guess!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not pay bills for adults. They pay their own bills. At 18, my kids would be roasted by their siblings if they needed "mommy" to help them. Not my job to provide for adults. I have my own life to live. I raise my kids to be able to hit the ground running at 18, and it is also their responsibility to pay for college, should they decide to go. Their lives, their decisions. Good luck, OP.

How did your kids pay for college then? My parents had this attitude but since they had a high income the result was I lived in unsafe situations because I had to work and spend all the money I made on tuition, because I couldn’t get loans due to their income. Also I shoplifted food fairly often. Hit the ground running I guess!

I don't get why people like that have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not pay bills for adults. They pay their own bills. At 18, my kids would be roasted by their siblings if they needed "mommy" to help them. Not my job to provide for adults. I have my own life to live. I raise my kids to be able to hit the ground running at 18, and it is also their responsibility to pay for college, should they decide to go. Their lives, their decisions. Good luck, OP.

How did your kids pay for college then? My parents had this attitude but since they had a high income the result was I lived in unsafe situations because I had to work and spend all the money I made on tuition, because I couldn’t get loans due to their income. Also I shoplifted food fairly often. Hit the ground running I guess!

I don't get why people like that have kids.

+1

College is tricky because legally you are an adult but financially they don’t treat you like an independent adult. Your parents’ finances are the deciding factor as to whether you get aid. So it seems really sh**ty to not help out if you have the means to pay tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not pay bills for adults. They pay their own bills. At 18, my kids would be roasted by their siblings if they needed "mommy" to help them. Not my job to provide for adults. I have my own life to live. I raise my kids to be able to hit the ground running at 18, and it is also their responsibility to pay for college, should they decide to go. Their lives, their decisions. Good luck, OP.

How did your kids pay for college then? My parents had this attitude but since they had a high income the result was I lived in unsafe situations because I had to work and spend all the money I made on tuition, because I couldn’t get loans due to their income. Also I shoplifted food fairly often. Hit the ground running I guess!

I don't get why people like that have kids.

+1

College is tricky because legally you are an adult but financially they don’t treat you like an independent adult. Your parents’ finances are the deciding factor as to whether you get aid. So it seems really sh**ty to not help out if you have the means to pay tuition.

+1 I still remember friends in college who were in a horrible situation because mom and dad made lots of money, but wanted to buy new BMWs instead of paying tuition.