If your 18+ dc is rebellious, what bills of theirs do you pay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too often, at the 11th hour, a parent decides their kid it's "worthy" of college. It's "ready". Something. Truth is the parent never really had enough $ set aside for college, but they want to blame the kid. Or they don't want to pay and never were honest about it.

So for this reason, without more and better information --- YES you owe them tuition

+1

Anything beyond age 18 is icing on the cake. You don’t legally “owe” your kid anything at that age.

You morally do.

According to who’s morals?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too often, at the 11th hour, a parent decides their kid it's "worthy" of college. It's "ready". Something. Truth is the parent never really had enough $ set aside for college, but they want to blame the kid. Or they don't want to pay and never were honest about it.

So for this reason, without more and better information --- YES you owe them tuition

+1

Anything beyond age 18 is icing on the cake. You don’t legally “owe” your kid anything at that age.

You morally do.

According to who’s morals?

Empathetic people’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too often, at the 11th hour, a parent decides their kid it's "worthy" of college. It's "ready". Something. Truth is the parent never really had enough $ set aside for college, but they want to blame the kid. Or they don't want to pay and never were honest about it.

So for this reason, without more and better information --- YES you owe them tuition

+1

Anything beyond age 18 is icing on the cake. You don’t legally “owe” your kid anything at that age.

You morally do.

According to who’s morals?

Empathetic people’s.

LOL. you must be 18. after 18 years of fully funding a person, a parent is allowed to be done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too often, at the 11th hour, a parent decides their kid it's "worthy" of college. It's "ready". Something. Truth is the parent never really had enough $ set aside for college, but they want to blame the kid. Or they don't want to pay and never were honest about it.

So for this reason, without more and better information --- YES you owe them tuition

+1

Anything beyond age 18 is icing on the cake. You don’t legally “owe” your kid anything at that age.

You morally do.

According to who’s morals?

Empathetic people’s.

LOL. you must be 18. after 18 years of fully funding a person, a parent is allowed to be done.

-Narcissistic parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too often, at the 11th hour, a parent decides their kid it's "worthy" of college. It's "ready". Something. Truth is the parent never really had enough $ set aside for college, but they want to blame the kid. Or they don't want to pay and never were honest about it.

So for this reason, without more and better information --- YES you owe them tuition

+1

Anything beyond age 18 is icing on the cake. You don’t legally “owe” your kid anything at that age.

You morally do.

According to who’s morals?

Empathetic people’s.

LOL. you must be 18. after 18 years of fully funding a person, a parent is allowed to be done.

I feel really sorry for your children. It doesn't sound like you enjoy them or care for them very much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not pay bills for adults. They pay their own bills. At 18, my kids would be roasted by their siblings if they needed "mommy" to help them. Not my job to provide for adults. I have my own life to live. I raise my kids to be able to hit the ground running at 18, and it is also their responsibility to pay for college, should they decide to go. Their lives, their decisions. Good luck, OP.

How did your kids pay for college then? My parents had this attitude but since they had a high income the result was I lived in unsafe situations because I had to work and spend all the money I made on tuition, because I couldn’t get loans due to their income. Also I shoplifted food fairly often. Hit the ground running I guess!

How did you turn out ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too often, at the 11th hour, a parent decides their kid it's "worthy" of college. It's "ready". Something. Truth is the parent never really had enough $ set aside for college, but they want to blame the kid. Or they don't want to pay and never were honest about it.

So for this reason, without more and better information --- YES you owe them tuition

+1

Anything beyond age 18 is icing on the cake. You don’t legally “owe” your kid anything at that age.

You morally do.

According to who’s morals?

whose

And very little of parenting is about legal requirements. But if you treat your kids this way they don't morally owe you a relationship with them as adults, a relationship with their children, care for you when you are elderly. Most people don't want to lose that kind of lifelong relationship with their children. Not able to pay for the college of their dreams--fine, find other ways to be supportive. It's more about the attitude than the finances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too often, at the 11th hour, a parent decides their kid it's "worthy" of college. It's "ready". Something. Truth is the parent never really had enough $ set aside for college, but they want to blame the kid. Or they don't want to pay and never were honest about it.

So for this reason, without more and better information --- YES you owe them tuition

+1

Anything beyond age 18 is icing on the cake. You don’t legally “owe” your kid anything at that age.

You morally do.

According to who’s morals?

whose

And very little of parenting is about legal requirements. But if you treat your kids this way they don't morally owe you a relationship with them as adults, a relationship with their children, care for you when you are elderly. Most people don't want to lose that kind of lifelong relationship with their children. Not able to pay for the college of their dreams--fine, find other ways to be supportive. It's more about the attitude than the finances.

Agree. I believe in families supporting each other all throughout life. I don't mean enabling, but when my kids have kids, you can bet I'll be there to help them. We support our elder parents now and they can see that also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not pay bills for adults. They pay their own bills. At 18, my kids would be roasted by their siblings if they needed "mommy" to help them. Not my job to provide for adults. I have my own life to live. I raise my kids to be able to hit the ground running at 18, and it is also their responsibility to pay for college, should they decide to go. Their lives, their decisions. Good luck, OP.

Terrible

NP but no it isn’t.

Whether you like it or not, you are putting your kids at a significant disadvantage from kids with parental support. Hope your kid enjoys working for Orkin!

It's not terrible nor is it dooming your child; though why you think working as an exterminator is somehow a negative is an interesting perspective and makes me think you need to examine your own classist biases.

I'm a pediatrician in my mid 30's who had minimal financial support after high school. There are plenty of ways to pay for college that aren't mommy or daddy's bank account. And it's not negligent parenting to expect your adult children to be financially independent.

DCUM, per usual, has a very skewed view of reality.

Many families cannot afford to send their kids to college but I'm sure you had a roof over your head and warm meals at home. Meaning, a "support at home".

And yes, giving up on your children, for your own interests, when they hit 18 is cruel.

I mean yeah, a roof and food that I paid for...
I'm not sure how you equate expecting independence from your adult children with "giving up" on them, or what in my post indicated it was for my parents own interests

Lot's of projecting on this thread, per usual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not pay bills for adults. They pay their own bills. At 18, my kids would be roasted by their siblings if they needed "mommy" to help them. Not my job to provide for adults. I have my own life to live. I raise my kids to be able to hit the ground running at 18, and it is also their responsibility to pay for college, should they decide to go. Their lives, their decisions. Good luck, OP.

Terrible

NP but no it isn’t.

Whether you like it or not, you are putting your kids at a significant disadvantage from kids with parental support. Hope your kid enjoys working for Orkin!

It's not terrible nor is it dooming your child; though why you think working as an exterminator is somehow a negative is an interesting perspective and makes me think you need to examine your own classist biases.

I'm a pediatrician in my mid 30's who had minimal financial support after high school. There are plenty of ways to pay for college that aren't mommy or daddy's bank account. And it's not negligent parenting to expect your adult children to be financially independent.

DCUM, per usual, has a very skewed view of reality.

Many families cannot afford to send their kids to college but I'm sure you had a roof over your head and warm meals at home. Meaning, a "support at home".

And yes, giving up on your children, for your own interests, when they hit 18 is cruel.

I mean yeah, a roof and food that I paid for...
I'm not sure how you equate expecting independence from your adult children with "giving up" on them, or what in my post indicated it was for my parents own interests

Lot's of projecting on this thread, per usual.

DP: Maybe because working as an exterminator exposes you to a lot of deadly working conditions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not pay bills for adults. They pay their own bills. At 18, my kids would be roasted by their siblings if they needed "mommy" to help them. Not my job to provide for adults. I have my own life to live. I raise my kids to be able to hit the ground running at 18, and it is also their responsibility to pay for college, should they decide to go. Their lives, their decisions. Good luck, OP.

Terrible

NP but no it isn’t.

Whether you like it or not, you are putting your kids at a significant disadvantage from kids with parental support. Hope your kid enjoys working for Orkin!

It's not terrible nor is it dooming your child; though why you think working as an exterminator is somehow a negative is an interesting perspective and makes me think you need to examine your own classist biases.

I'm a pediatrician in my mid 30's who had minimal financial support after high school. There are plenty of ways to pay for college that aren't mommy or daddy's bank account. And it's not negligent parenting to expect your adult children to be financially independent.

DCUM, per usual, has a very skewed view of reality.

Many families cannot afford to send their kids to college but I'm sure you had a roof over your head and warm meals at home. Meaning, a "support at home".

And yes, giving up on your children, for your own interests, when they hit 18 is cruel.

I mean yeah, a roof and food that I paid for...
I'm not sure how you equate expecting independence from your adult children with "giving up" on them, or what in my post indicated it was for my parents own interests

Lot's of projecting on this thread, per usual.

DP: Maybe because working as an exterminator exposes you to a lot of deadly working conditions?

Who would be working as an exterminator?

[Anonymous]

When my ds graduated hs he let us know he was leaving the country for a few years. After that he let us know that he enrolled in a college on the opposite coast of ours (in the US). There is no way I would ever co-sign any student loan, nor would I hand my adult kid money. He graduated college and is enrolled in law school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not pay bills for adults. They pay their own bills. At 18, my kids would be roasted by their siblings if they needed "mommy" to help them. Not my job to provide for adults. I have my own life to live. I raise my kids to be able to hit the ground running at 18, and it is also their responsibility to pay for college, should they decide to go. Their lives, their decisions. Good luck, OP.

Terrible

NP but no it isn’t.

Whether you like it or not, you are putting your kids at a significant disadvantage from kids with parental support. Hope your kid enjoys working for Orkin!

It's not terrible nor is it dooming your child; though why you think working as an exterminator is somehow a negative is an interesting perspective and makes me think you need to examine your own classist biases.

I'm a pediatrician in my mid 30's who had minimal financial support after high school. There are plenty of ways to pay for college that aren't mommy or daddy's bank account. And it's not negligent parenting to expect your adult children to be financially independent.

DCUM, per usual, has a very skewed view of reality.

Many families cannot afford to send their kids to college but I'm sure you had a roof over your head and warm meals at home. Meaning, a "support at home".

And yes, giving up on your children, for your own interests, when they hit 18 is cruel.

I mean yeah, a roof and food that I paid for...
I'm not sure how you equate expecting independence from your adult children with "giving up" on them, or what in my post indicated it was for my parents own interests

Lot's of projecting on this thread, per usual.

...and I'm sure you rub it on their face how YOU pay for their food and roof. Excellent parenting!


I'm sure your kids can't wait to 18 to move out either!